Boyfriend said I need to start behaving before he proposes

[LouLo2121]

My boyfriend has made this comment a few times ‘that I need to start behaving’ before he proposes (we’ve been together 3 years, lived together for 1.5).

for some context, I'm very respectful towards him, I cook clean, doing all the washing and go 50/50 with most things money wise, he also lives in my house.

i do get emotional and sometimes say mean things in the heat of the moment. Me ‘behaving’ means getting less emotional and not calling him out on anything.

do I really need to be with someone that wants me to ‘behave’ in order for him to propose?

At the moment, she's doing all the giving and he's doing all the taking.

OP you need legal advice . You should never have moved him in in the first place without getting a cohabitation agreement.

Once he is out you need advice on how to protect your assets . And no it’s not transferring your house just before you marry someone you’ve been living with for years .

And if you really are a 27 year old with a house you own outright , you need to get a LOT smarter about money. here’s my advice

1. get some counselling and work out why you are attracted to loser controlling men ( not a judgement BTW I’ve been there )
2. don’t date AT ALL for at least a year . FWB and one night stands also count - don’t do it .
3. get a female lodger who will share the bills and the cleaning . Or use the extra money to hire a cleaner .
4. spend all that extra time and money on YOU. By that I mean your career / education / qualifications / hobbies / sport / travel. Anything that’s about being more attractive to men doesn’t count ( hair extensions , fake nails, fake lips, fake boobs, etc )
5. spent time with good worthwhile kind friends and family who enrich your life . Anyone who you shag doesn’t count .
6. volunteer for a charity or good cause you care about.
7. take up mindfulness / meditation / prayer / any religious practice that matters to you .

Come back in a year and tell us how you feel about yourself .

This is just bollocks.

I like this!😂

Aaaaaarrrrrrrggggghg ……

You provide free accommodation, cooking, cleaning, laundry services. He's got a cushy arrangement there.

You work 45 hours a week then come home to do all the wifework without actually being a wife, which incomprehensible ambition he is dangling in front of you and expecting you to jump up and down for it.

You bite your tongue because he's taught you you have to show respect.

Then when the utter fucked up-ness gets too much and you raise your concerns he accuses you of being mean.

What does he do in terms of work hours / housekeeping?

Is he about your age - or rather older?

This is a case of coercive control getting out of hand. It will get very much worse.
There's 4.5 billion of them on the planet. This one's a chuck-back.

Oh and if op thinks she's having a hard time of it with this (self imagined) prince now, this would be a walk on the park compared to life with kids.

Non sleeping, colicky, teething, virus-y, crying, wingeing, tantrumming babies - toddlers who need you to do every single thing for them, on top of everything you did before.

If op suffers from pms she might be even more prone to PND. And pnd is also closely associated with women who end up extremely leep deprived (perhaps because their partners don't share the load) and who are left doing everything without sufficient support.

He works long shifts, but he does have time to help out or cook when he’s not working. He’s only 2 years older, so not much of an age gap.

This is really good advise @C0NNIE xx

Well he's currently bringing almost nothing to the table.

While expecting all his domestic work to be done for him.

And his views of women and marriage are very clear in what he's said.

You appear to be trolling or playing devil's advocate, I think most posters here are getting tired of indulging you. I certainly am.

But to be fair, only a troll would come on MN and post the absolute bollocks you did.

Only when what they write is so outrageous, it's comical.

Marriages are partnerships. And people do 50-50 in good partnerships.

He is not doing 50-50.

They both work.

They both pay 50-50 towards costs.

She has no tent or mortgage payments and he is benefitting from that.

t's her do all domestic work.

He lets her do all domestic work.

That is not 50-50 in any way, shape or form.

How kind of you @Priscil

to join mumsnet just to post your nuggets of wisdom on this thread

How many times are you going to write that.

It's coming across as unhinged.

Incest and mras just can't seem to keep off this forum.

🤣🤣🤣

There should perhaps be a prize for it. At the moment @Priscil is in the lead.

You tried that on naunet.

It didn't work on her and it doesn't work on me.

You keep repeating the same lines.

Your lines aren't working.

Give yourself a rest, take your own advice.

Run away! Far far away!!!