I've fallen in love and it's bad news

[Faghag]

because I am married with three children and he is gay and fifteen years my junior. That says it all. We've drifted into this. We've been talking for an hour a day every day for over a year - just as the best of friends. I thought I was perfectly safe - who wouldn't with a gay man young enough to be my son. It became a very intense friendship with a lot of emotional involvement. DH was jealous, unreasonably so, I thought. Until we had sex last weekend and now my whole world is falling apart. I feel wretchedly guilty.

oh dear...does your gay friend feel the same way as u?

You had sex with a gay man? .

Forgot to say I namechanged for this. Yes he does feel the same way as me. That makes it worse because I never saw it coming and now I'm going to hurt everyone. Yes I did have sex with a gay man, hence the choice of name.

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So, was it good?

cor don't really know what to say!

Yes but he didn't know that and I didn't know that and I don't know how it happened.

It was lovely. That makes it worse

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where did u meet him too? They do say u cant help who you fall in love with. Do you love your dh? Perhaps this is just a phase, because he is attracted to you?

i see

So is he embracing the bi lifestyle, then, as it was so good you'll do it again?

You're going to be cool when he needs to find comfort with another man?

Yes, I see, too, Paula.

OK, not sounding too gay to me!!!!

How old is he? I mean, could he be confused about his sexuality?

Also, depending on his age, if he is quite young, I think it would be good for you to put some emotional (and physical!) distance between you.

I hate to sound judgemental, but I don't think this is love. YOu have 3 kids and a husband.... He's a much younger guy and sounds like he might be a bit mixed up about stuff....

I am not saying there isn't an attraction, but there is an awful lot to lose.

Why are you attracted to him? How come your relationship became so intense? Is he in a relationship at all right now?

Please don't let's get hung up on whether he is gay or bi or whatever - it's really not the main issue, is it? FH, I'm sorry you're in such turmoil. Please explain what the current state is: are you in love with this guy? Do you want the affair to continue? Does your dh know?

I'n not going to be cool about anything expat. That's one of the reasons why it's all such a mess.

Did he do it the 'hetero' way or was it up the bum?

sex isnt love though is it?
it's lust.

Wot are you like, Slouchy!

did you think it was love before the sex?

I want nothing more than to carry on seeing him. I can't think about anything else. Youcannot is dead right - I think he is confused and I am so much older and I just shouldn't be doing this. God it's awful.

but it was good sex.

OK, that is something I've always wondered... I mean if a gay man does it with a woman up-the-bum... it's kind of the same, right?

How old are your kids, FH?

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Yes I did think it was love before the sex. We both used to tell each other how much we loved one another. See what I meant about emotionally intense.

You made me laugh slouchy.