I've fallen in love and it's bad news

[Faghag]

because I am married with three children and he is gay and fifteen years my junior. That says it all. We've drifted into this. We've been talking for an hour a day every day for over a year - just as the best of friends. I thought I was perfectly safe - who wouldn't with a gay man young enough to be my son. It became a very intense friendship with a lot of emotional involvement. DH was jealous, unreasonably so, I thought. Until we had sex last weekend and now my whole world is falling apart. I feel wretchedly guilty.

He is 27. He had a clear test but I don't know what that means really. Oh Lou that's just how it happened - we shared hotel rooms quite often - I never thought it would happen really I didn't.

This situation is way too risky in every way.

One day you will, FH....

How will your DH react to this? He'll find out, believe me...

You have a stark decision, I'm afraid... Choose your 'lover' and you have to leave every aspect of your life behind....... COnsider carefully what life will be like with your younger man. That's not me being on some moral molehill, believe me.

Or, choose your husband, kids, the life you have... but that will mean cutting all ties with this boy.......

It's your choice. But the voice of experience is saying that the first option won't be anywhere near as rosy as it might look or feel right now.

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Jesus, that's a predicament. There is only one thing I can say to you, Faghag and that is: Run like the wind away from this situation. No good can come of it.

Yes, Kerry except he thinks he does. That's part of the problem. He thinks he does.

this is most likely an ill judged fling.your gayMan has flattered you,been attentive,laughed at your jokes.in short he made you feel alive and wanted.you gave into lust.

thing is you and Dh have 3 children, history.relationships do have dips/tired times etc. think carefully before you give that up.

this isn't a gay issue

it is a you felt/feel flattered by attentions. you need to address the perceived shortcomings i relationship with DH

as with any unprotected sex with new partner - go to GU clinic. don't have sex with DH til you get the all clear, it is unacceptable to place him at risk due to your recklessness

no well these things have a way of developing, we ended up not seeing each other for ages, during which he ended up fathering a child, whom he adores

but he is not with the mum

he calls me when he needs a shoulder to cry on mainly now, we have to limit our time together as he finds it too difficult to know what to do or how to behave, which is due to the age gap as well ( almost 16 yrs)

i do regret taking that step, i would prefer to have our relationship as it was, but it wont be, so we have to try and make it work on another level now

I haven't had sex with my DH for three years but in the unlikely event of either of us mustering up some enthusiasm, I would of course make sure he was safe.

FH, this guy wanted to settle down with me too, in fat he is great with my kids and they have known him many years and adore him

but it wouldnt ever work for so many reasons

hi,
I have namechanged for this, as I am a respectable mum of two, and a regular poster. (we all have a dark side)

I have slept with quite a few gay men. I even had a 9 month relationship with one.
Being with a gay man can be quite intense.

I would urge you to proceed with great caution. Even with the best will in the world, you may find that a few months down the line he cannot "love" you the same way as he would love another man. Or he cannot get the total satisfaction from you, once the intial excitement has passed.

Many gay men love to have sex with women now and then. It does not make them able to emotionally love a woman, even if they are able to make love. Huge difference.

I regret it too Lou, I'm so relieved to have found someone who's been there. Thank you

you are married

gorw up fgs

if you have cat you are welcome to contact me

not sure i can be any more help tho tbh

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Oh thank you thank you Ihadagaylovertoo - yes I know. He is a bit of a flibbertijibbert (sp?). Right now he wants to marry me. He forgets that six months ago he was inviting me to his gay wedding. How did I get here?

Come on..... it's pretty simple, isn't it?

FH - you crave the freedom, the excitement, the lust, the nerves, the out of the ordinary that's you are missing in your life...

Your toyboy craves the security, the stability, the love, the warmth, the know-whay-you-are-doing-tomorrow that he's missing in his (perhaps never had that)

So, you both are meeting your 'needs' with each other and that feels wonderful for both of you and, not surprisingly, you don't want that to end....

But it will end. Badly. It's not sustainable for either of you. I'm sorry, but it's not.

I'll sort out CAT Lou, thank you. It's really helped me - It doesn't help that I was feeling like a complete freak as well

Shit, this is a big f*@king mess, I feel like a nun next to you, affairs gay men, hiv shit, you love him, oh faghag, I'm searching for some words of wisdom, or a kind anicdote, but all i want to say is, please we only get one chance at everything, you cant fuck up your health, your dh's health or your kids lives for a fuck n a fumble, no matter how good it is.

Yes I know Youcannot. I know that in my head.

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