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Original poster

Ex has gone on holiday without kids -would you be annoyed?

162 replies

eohlay · 13/08/2023 12:17

We have been separated 5 years.
We have two kids 9 and 7.
He has been with his partner for 4 years ,they don't live together and she also has 2 kids.

Last week I found out that today he is going to Cornwall with her and the two kids and he has paid but not taking our kids with him.
When I asked why,he responded "it's too expensive to take them,it would mean getting another room and that's £550 extra for 5 nights and me and "lucy " having to take a car each.

Our kids are at a age now where they aren't stupid and will be talking to his partners kids about the holiday -obviously wondering why they didn't get to go.

I've last min booked us to go away next week for 4 nights so they still get a holiday

Would you be annoyed ?

OP posts:
Poorlilthing · 13/08/2023 12:19

Not really Op

why would I want my children to spend time with people who aren’t particularly bothered about them?

Poorlilthing · 13/08/2023 12:20

were your children meant to be with him then?

TheDuchessOfMN · 13/08/2023 12:20

If it isn’t during his contact time to have them, then no, I wouldn’t be annoyed.

TVstolemyevenings · 13/08/2023 12:20

Yes I’d be furious but mainly disappointed that my kids had such a selfish Arsehole as a dad. Too late to change that now and if he doesn’t understand why he’s being a prick there’s not much you can do.

FiddleLeaf · 13/08/2023 12:21

Same happened to me as a child and it’s so upsetting. You’ve done the right thing in booking your own trip.

Shame they have a crap dad but sounds like they have a fab mum.

Original poster
eohlay · 13/08/2023 12:22

During the 6 weeks hols we don't have set days plus he has just been sacked from his job so has all the spare time in the world.
If I had no plans with them and he wanted to take them away then he could of.

OP posts:
mycatsanutter · 13/08/2023 12:23

Yea I'd be annoyed about that , doesn't seem fair on your dc

Poorlilthing · 13/08/2023 12:23

eohlay · 13/08/2023 12:22

During the 6 weeks hols we don't have set days plus he has just been sacked from his job so has all the spare time in the world.
If I had no plans with them and he wanted to take them away then he could of.

No set days?

isnt thst very disruptive for the children?

BungleandGeorge · 13/08/2023 12:23

Of course it’s crap that’s he’s paid to take away two totally unrelated children and not his own. Poor kids

NewNameNigel · 13/08/2023 12:24

If it was a holiday with his partner it would be ok I think but the fact that he's taken her kids in the school holidays is bad.

However, you've said that he paid for her kids. How do you know this? She might well have paid.

doroda · 13/08/2023 12:24

If he's supposed to be having them during that period then yes I'd be furious.

If not, not at all. And how is it his partner if they don't live together - sounds more like he's a long term boyfriend tagging along on her holiday...doesn't exactly sound like a blended family situation where he would take his kids.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 13/08/2023 12:24

No. He's entitled to do his own thing without his kids OP.

Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand · 13/08/2023 12:25

Surely it's best the dc grow up under no illusions about their df? He will reap his 'rewards' when they dump his sorry arse...

Sushibecomesme · 13/08/2023 12:27

I do think it's mean if he has no plans to take his own kids away

aSofaNearYou · 13/08/2023 12:28

NewNameNigel · 13/08/2023 12:24

If it was a holiday with his partner it would be ok I think but the fact that he's taken her kids in the school holidays is bad.

However, you've said that he paid for her kids. How do you know this? She might well have paid.

Yes these are my thoughts too. My opinion depends on whether he did actually pay for her kids, or just for himself.

Gizlotsmum · 13/08/2023 12:28

Is this the only holiday he is taking this year or will he take your kids elsewhere and it’s just this week they are missing? If it’s not on his contact time and they get a holiday with him fine, if they don’t get a holiday with him then I would be annoyed

TeapotTitties · 13/08/2023 12:28

How do you know he's paying for it all and his partner is paying nothing?

Plus if he's lost his job, then taking an extra two kids and cars would be much more costly.

I've last min booked us to go away next week for 4 nights so they still get a holiday

Were they not going to get a holiday before you discovered this?

Poorlilthing · 13/08/2023 12:28

You would want your young children to go on holiday with a woman and her children that their father doesn’t even live with?

and no set days…. That sounds crap for everyone concerned

arethereanyleftatall · 13/08/2023 12:29

Are you sure he paid?

I think that's the crux of it.

If she paid to take her own kids on holiday, and he's just tagging along, then obvo that's fine.

But if he used all his spare money to take his girlfriend's kids on holiday, and has none left to take his own kids, then that's shocking.

Spirallingdownwards · 13/08/2023 12:33

No I wouldn't be bothered. It is up to him what he does the same way it is up to you what you do.

GreenKimono · 13/08/2023 12:35

It wouldn’t bother me. I would be bothered that the children don’t have set times to see him, though. Why not?

Original poster
eohlay · 13/08/2023 12:37

He got dismissed from his last job
They paid him off a few thousand pound
He openly said he paid but couldn't take our kids as it would cost too much.
They have been away (our kids ,her kids ) many times to the caravan /Blackpool etc
This is actually the first year they haven't

Me and kids are going away to Tenerife in November and that's our main holiday this year as the 6 weeks are too busy and expensive
I only booked this last min trip because I didn't want them feeling sad /left out
We normally do little day trips (1 a week ) to different places
Theme park /beach (weather dependant) etc

OP posts:
Chowtime · 13/08/2023 12:37

Yeah thats crap. I'd feel sad rather than annoyed though.

But as others have pointed out - do you really want your kids to spend time with someone who doesn't want to spend time with them?

Original poster
eohlay · 13/08/2023 12:37

@GreenKimono they have Friday and Saturday every week but in the 6 weeks if he wants to take them out and I have no plans he can have them any extra days he wants

OP posts:
Chchcheckingitout · 13/08/2023 12:42

Would you take your kids on holiday with your new partner, without your DC half siblings, step siblings, etc?