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Original poster

Ex has gone on holiday without kids -would you be annoyed?

162 replies

eohlay · 13/08/2023 12:17

We have been separated 5 years.
We have two kids 9 and 7.
He has been with his partner for 4 years ,they don't live together and she also has 2 kids.

Last week I found out that today he is going to Cornwall with her and the two kids and he has paid but not taking our kids with him.
When I asked why,he responded "it's too expensive to take them,it would mean getting another room and that's £550 extra for 5 nights and me and "lucy " having to take a car each.

Our kids are at a age now where they aren't stupid and will be talking to his partners kids about the holiday -obviously wondering why they didn't get to go.

I've last min booked us to go away next week for 4 nights so they still get a holiday

Would you be annoyed ?

OP posts:
paulaparticles · 13/08/2023 12:43

I would tell him ok fair enough now you need to take them away on your own to make up for it.

Original poster
eohlay · 13/08/2023 12:43

I'm actually going to Tenerife with my partner and his daughter
I personally wouldn't dream of not taking her and neither would my partner

OP posts:
summer3219 · 13/08/2023 12:48

I would find it disappointing for the DC as he is clearly prioritising his new family over his own DC. He should, of course, have taken all of them or none.

My ex did this and then told the DC that I wouldn't let him take them when they asked why they hadn't gone so at least he is being honest and showing himself up for what he is. He prioritised his new family for years and is now living with the consequences.

pinkyredrose · 13/08/2023 12:50

They don't live together, they're not a blended family. You need to get over it.

WunWun · 13/08/2023 12:51

I would just be sad for the kids and rather than having a go at him I would point out to him that his children are old enough to be upset by this and will be

He has Friday and Saturday each week is a weird set up though?

PoshPineapple · 13/08/2023 12:52

@WunWun

He has Friday and Saturday each week is a weird set up though?

How is that weird?

TeapotTitties · 13/08/2023 12:53

eohlay · 13/08/2023 12:37

He got dismissed from his last job
They paid him off a few thousand pound
He openly said he paid but couldn't take our kids as it would cost too much.
They have been away (our kids ,her kids ) many times to the caravan /Blackpool etc
This is actually the first year they haven't

Me and kids are going away to Tenerife in November and that's our main holiday this year as the 6 weeks are too busy and expensive
I only booked this last min trip because I didn't want them feeling sad /left out
We normally do little day trips (1 a week ) to different places
Theme park /beach (weather dependant) etc

So they normally take your kids every year.

Your kids are now getting an extra week off school in November, going to Tenerife and now they're also getting a last minute holiday in the school hols?

You can do too much for kids you know. At some point they need to realise they can't have everything they want all the time.

StillWantingADog · 13/08/2023 12:53

I think I’d let it lie unless it was a week where suddenly it left me with a childcare problem

WunWun · 13/08/2023 12:53

PoshPineapple · 13/08/2023 12:52

@WunWun

He has Friday and Saturday each week is a weird set up though?

How is that weird?

That the OP gets every weekend off and he never gets one off?

Rollonsept · 13/08/2023 12:54

YABU. Have your kids done previously holidays with their dad? This is how the cookie crumbles when parents are not together anymore.

WandaWonder · 13/08/2023 12:55

TeapotTitties · 13/08/2023 12:53

So they normally take your kids every year.

Your kids are now getting an extra week off school in November, going to Tenerife and now they're also getting a last minute holiday in the school hols?

You can do too much for kids you know. At some point they need to realise they can't have everything they want all the time.

Show quote history

All this

Original poster
eohlay · 13/08/2023 12:55

My problem is he can't afford to pay for his own kids but can pay for someone else's kids ...

OP posts:
NewNameNigel · 13/08/2023 12:56

Op you don't have to justify your contact arrangement to people on here if it works for you. Mumsnet is weird about anything that isn't EOW or 50/50 and seems to be against flexibility.

Crossstich · 13/08/2023 12:57

doroda · 13/08/2023 12:24

If he's supposed to be having them during that period then yes I'd be furious.

If not, not at all. And how is it his partner if they don't live together - sounds more like he's a long term boyfriend tagging along on her holiday...doesn't exactly sound like a blended family situation where he would take his kids.

Not quite as OPs ex paid for the holiday.
You are not being unreasonable OP I can see it would be hurtful.him paying go take his girlfriends children away but not his own. He should at least offer to take them on a separate holiday

SinisterBumFacedCat · 13/08/2023 13:03

Kind of makes sense if he knows his children are already getting a nice holiday abroad later in the year.

whitewinefriday · 13/08/2023 13:07

OP, if your children are going to Tenerife later on in the year, then it’s not like they are missing out?

Duckingella · 13/08/2023 13:07

It's shit especially if he's paid for a holiday for someone else's kids;there's nothing you can do than accept he's a prick and your partner is a better man than him.

Out of interest does he paid maintenance and is it via the CSA?

aSofaNearYou · 13/08/2023 13:08

whitewinefriday · 13/08/2023 13:07

OP, if your children are going to Tenerife later on in the year, then it’s not like they are missing out?

Yes I do think the additional last minute holiday was a bit unnecessary given this.

JFDIYOLO · 13/08/2023 13:09

No, this is her holiday with her two children and partner. Why would she want two extra kids and an extra car involved?

TeapotTitties · 13/08/2023 13:09

eohlay · 13/08/2023 12:55

My problem is he can't afford to pay for his own kids but can pay for someone else's kids ...

Why is that a problem?

Your kids are getting a holiday in Tenerife in November, her kids are getting a holiday in Cornwall during a very expensive time (school holidays).

Of course it's cheaper to pay for two less kids when he's lost his job.

I don't know who's sounding more spoilt here, you or your kids.

PuppyMonkey · 13/08/2023 13:09

Why did he get the sack? I’m curious now.

prawncrackers30plus · 13/08/2023 13:13

This reply has been deleted

This user is a troll so we have deleted their posts and threads.

whitewinefriday · 13/08/2023 13:14

JFDIYOLO · 13/08/2023 13:09

No, this is her holiday with her two children and partner. Why would she want two extra kids and an extra car involved?

I thought the same. Taking 4 children, from two households, and 2 cars, to Cornwall is NOT my idea of a holiday!

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 13/08/2023 13:15

Yes I'd be annoyed and upset.

My ex did the same. To make it worse he told our DC that he couldn't see them that weekend as he was going on "a family holiday". Fucking prick

wingingit1987 · 13/08/2023 13:17

I think I would be annoyed. If he has no money to do anything with his own kids then he shouldn’t be taking someone else’s kids away.