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Original poster

Ex has gone on holiday without kids -would you be annoyed?

162 replies

eohlay · 13/08/2023 12:17

We have been separated 5 years.
We have two kids 9 and 7.
He has been with his partner for 4 years ,they don't live together and she also has 2 kids.

Last week I found out that today he is going to Cornwall with her and the two kids and he has paid but not taking our kids with him.
When I asked why,he responded "it's too expensive to take them,it would mean getting another room and that's £550 extra for 5 nights and me and "lucy " having to take a car each.

Our kids are at a age now where they aren't stupid and will be talking to his partners kids about the holiday -obviously wondering why they didn't get to go.

I've last min booked us to go away next week for 4 nights so they still get a holiday

Would you be annoyed ?

OP posts:
BungleandGeorge · 13/08/2023 13:18

So they normally take your kids every year

no, he takes his kids every year. They are HIS kids. He’s chosen to pay to take some other kids he doesn’t live with this year. That’s bizarre. He’s absolutely prioritising them over his children, perhaps the girlfriend could have paid half which would cover the additional cost. Or just budget the correct amount. Any way you look at it he’s prioritising the other children over his own, it’s irrelevant what holiday their mum is taking. They don’t even live together!

QueenofallIsee · 13/08/2023 13:18

I have been away with just my husband and step kids, just me and my kids, my husband and my kids, my stepdaughter and me alone,
all kids and adults and just me and my husband. That’s how it works in blended families isn’t it? I don’t feel as though every single thing has to include every single person every time.

prawncrackers30plus · 13/08/2023 13:19

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DustyLee123 · 13/08/2023 13:19

My DF had many holidays with his new family, but without me. I grew up assuming it was normal.

PoshPineapple · 13/08/2023 13:19

@WunWun

He has Friday and Saturday each week is a weird set up though?

How is that weird?

That the OP gets every weekend off and he never gets one off?

But he has the other 5 days a week 'off'. It's perfectly normal for the children of parents living apart to spend each weekend with their Dad - completely fail to see what's weird about that?

whitewinefriday · 13/08/2023 13:22

But he has the other 5 days a week 'off'. It's perfectly normal for the children of parents living apart to spend each weekend with their Dad - completely fail to see what's weird about that?

I don’t think it’s particularly normal - the mum never gets to do weekend stuff with her children and the dad never gets a weekend to himself?

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 13/08/2023 13:24

whitewinefriday · 13/08/2023 13:22

But he has the other 5 days a week 'off'. It's perfectly normal for the children of parents living apart to spend each weekend with their Dad - completely fail to see what's weird about that?

I don’t think it’s particularly normal - the mum never gets to do weekend stuff with her children and the dad never gets a weekend to himself?

They have half the weekend each. Or is Sunday not a day anymore? Confused

panko · 13/08/2023 13:26

eohlay · 13/08/2023 12:55

My problem is he can't afford to pay for his own kids but can pay for someone else's kids ...

How do you know she hasn't paid for herself and her own kids?

I think actually it's quite sensible- they don't live together. Blending will take time.

I'd hope he'd take his kids on holiday at some point but if she's paid for herself and her kids and he's just paying for himself then there's no obligation

googlejourney · 13/08/2023 13:27

'No. He's entitled to do his own thing without his kids OP'

...but he's chosen to spend time & money on a family holiday with someone else's children and that is disappointing

Lorey82 · 13/08/2023 13:28

A holiday with 4 kids sounds like a nightmare and probably unaffordable. I imagine if his new partner is earning and receiving child benefit and maintenance then this is what is funding their holiday that he is tagging along on.
If you are receiving child benefit/UC and maintenance then assume that’s what’s funding your holiday alongside your earnings. I know in an ideal world both separated parents would be able to afford holidays but just isn’t how the finances usually work with separated couples as the money the PWC would of had for holidays goes on maintenance

panko · 13/08/2023 13:28

googlejourney · 13/08/2023 13:27

'No. He's entitled to do his own thing without his kids OP'

...but he's chosen to spend time & money on a family holiday with someone else's children and that is disappointing

Only if you make it so. If you think ah good taking time to get to know each other before they all move in together that s a far more positive way of looking at it

Winnipeggy · 13/08/2023 13:36

I think it's fine, kids need to know they aren't entitled to multiple holidays a year. I wouldn't have booked them an extra one.

blackbeardsballsack · 13/08/2023 13:40

I just can't imagine ever going on holiday with a boyfriend and their children and not thinking or wanting to take my own children. It would never cross my mind to do so.

extramintgum · 13/08/2023 13:44

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extramintgum · 13/08/2023 13:45

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Poppyblush · 13/08/2023 13:47

He’s shit. How can he pay for other persons kids but not his own.

extramintgum · 13/08/2023 13:48

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AmazingSnakeHead · 13/08/2023 13:51

I agree that it's sad. I would much much much prefer to holiday as the only adult with my two children than holiday with a partner and their children. There isn't any comparison. It would be different if Lucy was paying for her family and had said hey, it's no extra cost for you to join in my air BnB, do you want to come? But for this to be his holiday that he's paying for without his kids is shit. I agree with you that it's sad.

pinkyredrose · 13/08/2023 13:51

eohlay · 13/08/2023 12:55

My problem is he can't afford to pay for his own kids but can pay for someone else's kids ...

How do you know this?

Gh12345 · 13/08/2023 13:56

Your kids will remember so it’s on him, to save money he will probably have two resentful children. Very sad

Original poster
eohlay · 13/08/2023 13:59

I have move on
I have moved on to someone with decent morals
I wouldn't go on holiday with my partners daughter and leave my kids at home because I couldn't "afford " to take them -then pay for my partners daughter and partner

OP posts:
Original poster
eohlay · 13/08/2023 13:59

*moved

OP posts:
cracktheshutters · 13/08/2023 13:59

The OP said in one of the updates, he said it’d be too expensive for an extra room and to take two cars…

cracktheshutters · 13/08/2023 14:00

pinkyredrose · 13/08/2023 13:51

How do you know this?

Show quote history

The OP said this in one of her updates, he said it would be too expensive to get another room and take two cars…

naughty40me · 13/08/2023 14:02

My ex has done this several times.

My DC are teenagers now and hardly see him.

DC will always grow to see what's what and judge for themselves.

It's very sad but not a thing I did or said had any effect.

His loss.

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