what would you do if your husband called you out of your name?

[saltnlight]

My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years, together a total of 9. In the beginning of our relationship I let him know that I will not put up with name calling as that's what I grew up around. (my mom's husband called her names)
Yesterday we got into a heated argument and I called him incapable (I meant to say you're acting like you're incapable but it came out wrong) so he said "you're a b*tch" I said "what?" and he repeated it.

I'm a great wife, I cook and clean and he helps clean too. He's hard working and I'm a work from home/stay at home mom to our 7 month old. He's a great dad, he takes initiative and helps out with the baby.
I'm not perfect, sometimes I have a bad attitude, but I never ever call him out of his name. All I wanted to do yesterday was go to dinner with my friend so I wanted my husband to take care of our baby, but he was frustrated by something else and said "I watched him twice this week" "this is a late notice" and I was upset by that bc I'm with our baby 24/7, I just wanted to go to do a spontaneous dinner with my friend. I expressed why I was upset and reminded him that I'm always with our baby. since he pushed back, I just didn't end up going to dinner. I ended up taking my baby and my friend and I got ice cream instead.

My husband and I didn't talk much today about what happened yesterday but when we did, I apologized for calling him incapable, but he didn't accept my apology and said he doesn't regret what he called me.

I told him I'm not ok with what he called me especially in front of our baby and his response was "don't act like it then"

It's just over all upsetting, and I'm not sure what to do now since he didn't apologize and doesn't seem to care that he called me out of my name. I feel like he doesn't love me because why would you call your wife that if you love her?

Well he certainly sounds incapable of communicating effectively.

Calling him incompetent because she doesn't get to out for the third time in a week is so much more effective is it?

i both parties resorted to name calling, yet only HEhas to express his feelings in better way, absolutely a double standard there IMO

"Express in a better way" is a future action. OP has apologised and stated that she expressed her feelings badly. One can infer from this that she will avoid this in the future. That leaves the person who hasn't yet apologised. Keep up.

I’ve never forgotten that when I got back from a failed driving test my ex husband called me a ‘stupid cow’. But then he went on to comfort me. I was confused. I should have left him for that but I was young and naive with four young children. We split up when he found out I was talking to another man on the phone. He threw me out of the house and then took the children to Scotland where he came from. I felt guilty for years thinking it was all my fault but as I got older I realised that he had treated me really quite badly. I wish I could go back in time and I could end the marriage because of his disrespect and negative behaviour. It’s not too late for you.

Would it change your response?

How fucking stupid. Just say he called me a bitch
I despair of people

It sounds to me that she’s being gaslit into thinking she has a bad attitude.

Been married 40 years . Our marriage has always been up and down . Hubby is retired and has no hobbies or friends . All he wants to do is work on our sons house without charging him . We only have his state pension coming in as I have just taken early retirement . He has no respect for me and said the worst thing he did was marry me . He treats me like a child not his equal . I have asked him to treat me better and not resort to name calling . He says he will call me what he likes ! He has narcissistic traits and tries to control me . Hes admitted hes superior to me . I am so close to leaving him but scared of the future .