Husband has lost our kids savings

[Helphusbandmessedup]

I am so so so annoyed/angry/upset/fuming.

my husband has invested all our kids savings in crypto mining and lost the f*ing lot £14,500.

I’ve told him he personally needs to pay it all back, he thinks he’s just going to replace it from our other investments. Telling me he’d be poor if he takes it from his monthly money. I’ve long suspected he has a borderline gambling issue. I’m absolutely raging, when I said I don’t think it’s fair it come from our other investments he tried to overbearing me because I said it wasn’t an option.

I’ve said his other options are take a personal loan that he pays for or pay back every month but he’ll need to calculate the lost interest.

I’ve also told him I want to split our money going forward so we split bills but then have our own money. I earn more than him btw.

am I being unreasonable or just full of red mist.

Yes, how will they get their money back in days? A later post speaks of a personal loan. Yeah, a bank will be really keen on this!

So you found MN, found this post (amazing coincidence) and now you are marking your territory? Let your wife have a private space where she can moan about you. We all need a space away from our partners but it’s usually to moan that they have put the washing away, not that they have stolen from our children.

Tell me, how did you find it? Did she say that she’s taken advice from women on here?

No she simply told me that she had posted and shared some replies, I wanted to read all so I joined. I appreciate your comments, and I will give her her space. I wouldn’t say I’d stolen anything but I can see why you would say that.

please refer to comments above I have 2 options

You've gambled away 14k of your kids money and now you're getting divorced but your priority is clearing your name on an anonymous forum? Yeah.....

If any of this is real at all, someone's telling porkies

OP said that despite prior promises to pay back the money if things went wrong her DH is reluctant to do this because "it would make him poor" - and dad19851983 is saying that actually they're quite prepared to repay it after all

Seems to me someone needs to get their story straight ...

I’ve told him he personally needs to pay it all back, he thinks he’s just going to replace it from our other investments. Telling me he’d be poor if he takes it from his monthly money.

So this didn't happen then @dad19851983?

Or it did, but you later realised how monumentally shitty it was of you to say you weren't going to pay it back yourself after all, despite that being what was previously agreed?

@Puzzledandpissedoff Agree 100%
A few things seem a bit off with this thread - OP disappears, enter husband.
OP yet to return, husband treating it like a questions and answers session.
OP omitted to mention in her initial post that she had consented to husband reinvesting the children's money in crypto, which to me means she has to take some responsibility too - hiding behind ''my husband told me it would be safe'' isn't okay.
It's gone from ''husband will only have £100 a month to himself for the years it would take to pay back'' to husband saying it will all be paid back in days with a loan.
Are they reading this thread together?
Are we about to have a domestic on a mumsnet thread?
Or is it one big wind up.

dad19851983
If you've read this thread you'll know that I left my exH over a series of things that started off like your situation. What began the end of our relationship was that he promised to pay it back then didn't. You said you would at the start, you need to commit to pay it back and you need to mean it every day from now until its paid back.
You can't be resentful of her when she has more spare money than you, you still need to step up to parent when you're tired from your extra work, you need to do it for the years it's going to take to pay it back.
I wouldn't wish the pain or the anxiety of those days on any other family so I'm going to wish you luck and hope you do the right thing.

Nothing can be cleared.

Thanks for your message, without question this will be paid back by me

Does he have any money in any crypto wallets?
Are you 100% sure it was a scam or does he not want you to know that it's sitting somewhere in a wallet incase the value of the crypto goes up?

But your initial response when your wife reminded you that you'd promised to pay it back yourself, was to say you would do it from other investments because to pay it back yourself would mean you would be poor?

Two questions. One, if you have other investments then why did you choose specifically your children's money to risk in this crypto activity? Two, why did you promise you'd pay it back yourself then say you didn't want to as it would make you 'poor'?

You might have begrudgingly agreed in the end to pay it back yourself, but you would have preferred not to. Despite the promise you made.

Hi

1st point was it was the lowest amount invested, other investments were tied up and not accessible, one other investment was doing well, the kids money wasn’t doing much in the investment we had it in.

2nd never any question about paying it back, I sat down and went through options, getting a loan, paying it back through extra private work and using our property business profits, my is offended I even mentioned the property business to cover losses and I get where she is coming from as you could argue that wouldn’t be me taking fully accountability. I see and understand this. I thought about selling all golf clubs and equipments and sports memorabilia I have collected over the years, nothing for me was or is off limits to put things right. I just wanted to sort this mess and move on.

I have had it from trust wallet that the money put in was removed and placed somewhere the scams wanted it, what was being shown was false, I have made contact with police, my bank and trust wallet to see if there is anything that can be done, all parties have been very helpful in trying to get my money bank, it’s highly unlikely but who knows

I'll be honest mate, it's a bit of a weird ego driven thing to come onto an anonymous forum to sort of defend yourself / explain yourself to total strangers in what was previously a safe space for your wife and now no longer is due to you taking over the thread with your own narrative....

Really?

The police don't tend to get involved with this and will refer you to Action Fraud.

You must be special.

Not special. Stupid yes. You are correct I was put through to the action fraud team

That reply confirms to me that you have NEVER had any interaction with Action Fraud.

'Team'!

I understand your view. I’m not defending anything, im not sure putting my hands up to my mistake is an ego trip. I’ve not wanted to steal her thread and she is fully aware of my comments.

Interesting point, I’ve contact the police (03001232040) number after ringing another to get some advice on is there any way of tracing, same with my bank and trust wallet. I’m not sure there is any chance the money will be returned but im doing all I can and by giving the details, screen shots emails etc if nothing else it will stop someone else from being caught out

So what was your aim of posting on this thread? If not to defend yourself or set the record straight? It absolutely was ego driven / driven by a desire to assert your narrative.

What person tells there husband they are splitting up and oh by the way here's my thread on Mumsnet where I've been telling everyone our private business, why don't you drop in and have a chat with the ladies!

Their not there!