Husband told me to change my jumper before seeing his family

[Batima]

Last night I was travelling with my husband to his family for the weekend. We were going to have a casual dinner in his parents' house in the evening.

I was wearing a cardigan/jumper that I've worn loads before and which I really like and find useful. It's a beige short-length crochet open cardigan. It's semi-structured - so I think it's quite smart - and is a loose style so is useful for throwing over tops and dresses in the summer as an extra layer. I like it! And it's in a good condition - it doesn't look worn.

A few mins into our car journey, my husband looked a bit annoyed and said 'can we stop and get you a new jumper?' He then said it's unflattering on me, that it's too casual and he didn't like it. He said 'can you imagine your sister wearing something like that?' (he has said before that he thinks my sister dresses well).

I said I really liked that jumper, that I've worn it loads and he hasn't said anything before, and that I wanted to wear it anyway because it's a useful layer.

But he got annoyed and made such a fuss that I ended up putting it back in my case and wearing a jumper that he did like.

He said he should be able to tell me if he really doesn't like something I wear (and he's done so a few times before) - and that I can do the same to him.

I feel funny about that conversation last night, and feel a bit like he's easily embarrassed by how I look. Is this reasonable or am I being too sensitive here?

She likes the cardigan. It seems to me she uploaded a picture because she's confused by her boyfriend's reaction.

OP wanted opinions on its suitability for a casual meal with ILs, not on whether our taste is the same as theirs.

I would be SO annoyed that he didn't say this until after leaving the house, thus denying me the opportunity to go and put on my most garish Christmas jumper. But there's always next time...

Just calm down with being a mega dick 👍

I know those things are fashionable but I think it’s totally ugly and something a very old lady would wear. Yes I get that is because fashion goes cycles. But it’s ghastly.

I think YABU

I just don’t see this as a jumper conversation. It’s a dissatisfaction conversation. He is dissatisfied with you. He is comparing you with your sister unfavourably. I would be offended and fucking annoyed. Any chance you have put on weight since you started dating/got married? To me it’s one of those conversations.

Keep the cardigan and get rid of the husband. The way he told you he didn’t like what you were wearing was very disrespectful and unkind. Is he usually so nasty?

I think you've wandered into the wrong section of MN.

Its suitability is affected by whether its flattering or not. My opinion is that its not.

Other people on here love it. And have said they love it, how come they're not being pulled up on their taste? Are people only allowed to like the item now?

Oh dear-I can see why you’re upset and I would be but I’m guilty of telling my husband to go and put something nicer on if we’re going somewhere. Especially if he!s wearing one of his icky t shirts which I’m sure he thinks are quite nice and respectable. So I’m on the fence with this🙂. Although I’m sure plenty of people would describe me as controlling AF when he doesn’t care at all!

So anxious to start childish name calling that you couldn’t even read the thread title?

Go you!

It's a perfectly good cardigan and fuck the posters who say it's not flattering etc, etc.

Your partners is a tosser.

Full disclosure, I often had to stage an intervention with my late DH who felt OK at going out shopping/ walking the dog in the grease-spattered T-shirt from the day before when he'd cooked yet another fabulous meal and used the said T-shirt as an apron to wipe his hands.

Just seen the cardie......oh dear, I take back all I said I'll give it one last 'ffs I can't believe you're coming out wearing something that looks like it was made out of one of your nans armchair doilies. Put something else on. '

I'll try and leave off my own dp for a bit tho. 😬

I think it would be somewhat different if he said ‘do you mind putting something a bit more dressy on babe, Ma likes us to dress up for dinner’ rather than essentially saying you look scruffy and awful and that he fancies your sister. Rude twat.

At worst, the cardigan is dowdy.

Come on all the comments about that being unacceptable. How many times have we had to dress our husbands 🤣

The thread title is 'Husband told me to change my jumper before seeing his family'

I guess it's the way he said it? My DH and I definitely say if one of us is wearing something we don't like, and we'll say why. I don't see that as a problem. We've got each other's interests at heart and want each other to look good.

Nothing wrong with that cardigan...something wrong with your husband though!

Some seriously rude posters on this thread however are probably just like him.

I think it’s awful BUT some part of me would be a bit hurt and another part of me would be delighted he told me it was unflattering before I got there. I think his delivery was horrendous though.

I'm not really a wearer of cardigans but it's a nice cardigan, I reckon.
I think only you know the dynamic of your relationship though and whether or not it's ok for either of you to comment on the others clothing.

I tell my DP if he looks daft/unkempt, he does the same for me, neither of us are ever offended by it, but it may not be the same for you or others.

On its own it's not a huge deal - there would be better ways of doing it though.

He does not have the right to tell you what you can wear, but I've expressed preferences to my partner before. He doesn't often say much but I know there's a couple of things he doesn't like and I wouldn't wear them for an event that was his family or his colleagues.

Hmm I do wonder whether a) he thinks if you wear this cardigan again, his mum will think you only have one cardigan and b) his mum has bitched to him about the cardigan behind your back.

I think some posters have forgotten that OP has posted in Relationships, not Style & Beauty.

It's a tidy piece of clothing that she likes - that's the end of it. Her H may not like it but it's not up to him what she wears. She didn't ask for his opinion.

I’ve just seen the picture-how old are you? If you’re my age (60), I’d let it go but if not, it’s kind of old lady style so can see why he hates it. He obviously likes other clothes you’ve got so I really do think it’s all about the cardigan! I hate to see my husband dress like an old man (even though he is🤣) so I just tell him he’s only allowed to wear some clothes at the allotment!