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Original poster

Crush on friend's son

169 replies

Emmysass · 08/08/2023 22:56

I've recently been at a number of events where my friend's son has also been there and I've started to look at him in a different way. At one event there was some flirty body language and conversation from his part, but we had been drinking. I did not reciprocate because I'd never looked at him in that way before and only ever thought I'd him as "my best friends son".

For context he is 25 and I am 34 so there is a bit of an age gap but both adults.
I've been caught totally off guard by how I find myself thinking about him and really uncomfortable and guilty about feeling attracted to my best friend's son. It's developed in to what I guess is a pretty intense crush.

Should I tell her? Is it off limits? If so, how do I stop thinking about him?

I wouldn't do anything to jeopardise our friendship as she is my world.
However, with her son there's a physical attraction but also similar values and interests. He is very much 'my type' and if he weren't her son I would be keen to get to know him more.

Opinions and advice needed.

OP posts:
purpleboy · 08/08/2023 22:57

Stay away, no good can come from it. It will ruin your friendship.

PimpMyFridge · 08/08/2023 22:58

Oh crikey, that's awkward.
How old is she?
How old was he when you first knew him?
What do you think her reaction would be if you dated.
Are you both single?

Ohthatsabitshit · 08/08/2023 22:59

Absolutely not

gothshot · 08/08/2023 23:00

Nope nope nope nope nope

StarPotential · 08/08/2023 23:02

Why would you tell her?

Changedname23 · 08/08/2023 23:02

No. Its so grim

Greatdomestic · 08/08/2023 23:02

Don't go there, it will end your friendship for sure.

Original poster
Emmysass · 08/08/2023 23:03

PimpMyFridge · 08/08/2023 22:58

Oh crikey, that's awkward.
How old is she?
How old was he when you first knew him?
What do you think her reaction would be if you dated.
Are you both single?

She's 50.

I've only ever briefly said hello to him passing through their kitchen until the past few months.

He is single. I am separated, going through divorce.

They are very, very close. I don't know how she would respond if I told her. Aside from being shocked.

OP posts:
SkaneTos · 08/08/2023 23:05

Off limits.

Scentedrose · 08/08/2023 23:06

Hard no.

Careerdilemma · 08/08/2023 23:06

No way on earth

WiggelyWooWorm · 08/08/2023 23:07

Don't tell her.

Don't act on it.

bossybloss · 08/08/2023 23:07

Nooo!

bossybloss · 08/08/2023 23:08

Noooo!

stevalnamechanger · 08/08/2023 23:08

Tell her you're single and if she thinks of anyone suitable to let you know ... she might tell you she has a lovely son ;)

bossybloss · 08/08/2023 23:08

Sorry posted twice!

Mummy08m · 08/08/2023 23:09

I've only ever briefly said hello to him passing through their kitchen until the past few months.

Have you known him for a long time, say, since he was a teen? I think the mum would find that very not ok.

Don't read anything into his flirty behaviour, some young men fancy anything that moves.

If I were you I'd see them much less often until you get over the crush. This is one of those off-limit crushes like a subordinate at work

CobraChicken · 08/08/2023 23:09

No way!!

Also, curious that you sidestepped this question from @PimpMyFridge
"How old was he when you first knew him?"

Original poster
Emmysass · 08/08/2023 23:09

So how do I stop thinking about him?

He has said he feels the chemistry too and it's really hard but nothing can happen cos I'm his mums best friend.

OP posts:
Wisterical · 08/08/2023 23:10

You'll lose her friendship if you act on it. Or even if you tell her.

Original poster
Emmysass · 08/08/2023 23:11

CobraChicken · 08/08/2023 23:09

No way!!

Also, curious that you sidestepped this question from @PimpMyFridge
"How old was he when you first knew him?"

He would've been 18 when I first became friends with his mum, through work.

I'd never met him until he was 23.

OP posts:
HelpMeUnpickThis · 08/08/2023 23:11

Absolute no

madeinmanc · 08/08/2023 23:13

Sounds like he's already ruled it out so what on earth would you stand to gain by telling her?

Blondey2023 · 08/08/2023 23:14

Imagine if it was a man coming on here to say he fancied his mate's daughter. It's just grim OP.

Mummy08m · 08/08/2023 23:15

He has said he feels the chemistry too

This conversation shouldn't even have happened imo. Don't be alone with him such that conversations like this can take place. You need to stop seeing him altogether, which might mean seeing his mum less in the short term. Just be too busy