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Original poster

Crush on friend's son

169 replies

Emmysass · 08/08/2023 22:56

I've recently been at a number of events where my friend's son has also been there and I've started to look at him in a different way. At one event there was some flirty body language and conversation from his part, but we had been drinking. I did not reciprocate because I'd never looked at him in that way before and only ever thought I'd him as "my best friends son".

For context he is 25 and I am 34 so there is a bit of an age gap but both adults.
I've been caught totally off guard by how I find myself thinking about him and really uncomfortable and guilty about feeling attracted to my best friend's son. It's developed in to what I guess is a pretty intense crush.

Should I tell her? Is it off limits? If so, how do I stop thinking about him?

I wouldn't do anything to jeopardise our friendship as she is my world.
However, with her son there's a physical attraction but also similar values and interests. He is very much 'my type' and if he weren't her son I would be keen to get to know him more.

Opinions and advice needed.

OP posts:
Farahpascalmoges · 09/08/2023 01:29

Don't be ridiculous.

AccountCreateUsername · 09/08/2023 01:30

He has said he feels the chemistry too and it's really hard but nothing can happen cos I'm his mums best friend

Please don’t be that creepy person OP. He said no 😬 why hasn’t that put you off already?

Concentrate on getting yourself back on track after your break up. Focus on fixing yourself and good luck

HateMyselfToo · 09/08/2023 02:05

One of his mates? Fill your boots, age gap not a problem. Just stay away from him.
it would be like a scenario from an American Pie film.

RandomForest · 09/08/2023 02:07

No, don't go there.

CelestiaNoctis · 09/08/2023 02:07

I think it feels extra spicy to both of you because it's taboo. But it could fizzle out quickly and especially if if upsets your BFF. I wouldn't go there unless I was certain he was like actually my soul mate.

Greengrassohla · 09/08/2023 02:09

He has turned you down.

Fraaahnces · 09/08/2023 02:12

Don’t ever discuss “chemistry” with him again. Don’t ever discuss anything of the sort with his mum. Don’t drink at any function he is at. Find someone your own age to play with.

LordSalem · 09/08/2023 02:21

Absolutely off limits.
How do you get over it? No contact with the lad. Block him on everything and actively avoid seeing him in person at any given event. It will peter out.
Remind yourself constantly how much you value your friendship.

Isthebusstillrunning · 09/08/2023 02:36

Who the hell called her a cradle snatcher? Don't be ridiculous, he's hardly 17.

Mothership4two · 09/08/2023 02:42

And there's only 9 years between them, hardly abnormal in relationships.

Mothership4two · 09/08/2023 02:43

Issue is friendship. It could get incredibly messy and awkward. Definite no way from me.

However, he has said no anyway

Icycloud · 09/08/2023 02:45

Off limits

RoseGoldEagle · 09/08/2023 03:06

Good God no!! Do not do this!

RoseGoldEagle · 09/08/2023 03:09

I think his comment ‘yes I feel chemistry too but nothing can happen because you’re mum’s friend’ is pretty telling- sounds like he’s happy to practise a bit of flirting but wouldn’t want anything else to happen- most 25 year olds wouldn’t much care about the mum/friend thing so that sound like he’s making an excuse. So definitely let this go!

momonpurpose · 09/08/2023 03:31

purpleboy · 08/08/2023 22:57

Stay away, no good can come from it. It will ruin your friendship.

This! Dear God how vould you even think of pursuing this!

BrandonFlowersTurkeyTeeth · 09/08/2023 03:35

This reply has been deleted

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Are you the mum / friend ?!

momonpurpose · 09/08/2023 03:41

Greengrassohla · 09/08/2023 02:09

He has turned you down.

Exactly and he did it in a way to save her feelings. I'd die of embarrassment. My 2nd hand embarrassment is off the charts.

CrazyArmadilloLady · 09/08/2023 03:42

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Intriguing.

Come on, no 34YO with an ounce of cop on would be in this situation.

Cringing hard for you, OP.

Wheredoesyokoshairendandpubesbegin · 09/08/2023 04:00

What do you talk about to do with your interests and values? Genuinely, I'm not trying to pile on.
do you think you like him more because in your mind it's "wrong"?
if he wasn't your best friends son I don't think the age gap would be that bad for a few dates but...he is. So it's pretty ick, sorry OP.

Wheredoesyokoshairendandpubesbegin · 09/08/2023 04:08

Theblacksheepandme · 09/08/2023 01:17

What on earth are you talking about? Are you asking OP these offensive questions?

Show quote history

Agree, with you @Theblacksheepandme Confused

Mrsmulhern · 09/08/2023 04:11

I really don’t get all the replies saying absolutely not she’s your friend and she will always see him as her child etc!

He is not a child, there’s barely any age gap, not like OP has known him since he was a baby.

As far as friendship goes, her friend is happy and so is her son. Wtf is wrong?

Isthebusstillrunning · 09/08/2023 04:14

Does your friend know how you feel?
I think I'm in the minority too, I don't get all the absolutely not replies.

daisychain01 · 09/08/2023 04:15

madeinmanc · 08/08/2023 23:39

Nothing particularly unusual about the age gap, either. Or do we just express disdain when it's the woman who is the older one?

Come on, I bet most of us have slept with a man who is nine years older than us, haven't we? But we've still got misogynistic attitudes ingrained in us.

I bet most of us have slept with a man who is nine years older than us, haven't we?

what? Talk about cheap lazy generalisation.

you're competing with the OP's colleague from work, who's apparently her world, for the most overstated rubbish on a MN thread.

Dentistlakes · 09/08/2023 04:17

What’s your end game here? Even if you did go ahead and act on this, the relationship would likely be doomed from the start. Aside from losing your friendship, his mother would never accept you fully. It would cause division between them and ultimately destroy whatever relationship you had. Just don’t go there.

Wheredoesyokoshairendandpubesbegin · 09/08/2023 04:17

@Mrsmulhern I don't think her friend/ his mum knows. But I posted similar in regards to age etc. I think it's just too messy.