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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I had DH arrested yesterday

280 replies

Neverimagined · 03/08/2023 23:41

I'm just in utter shock. I was too ill to get out of bed, he was demanding I get up and look after the children. I begged him to let me rest and he threw a glass of water over me then dragged me out of bed and down the stairs. In front of my DD9 who was screaming at him to get off me.

I'm just in shock. I was starting to open my eyes and realise that some of his behaviour was controlling/coercive/gaslighting, but I never thought he'd be violent. Especially in front of the kids. He hasn't shown any remorse. Everything is always my fault because I'm crazy/unstable/hormonal according to him and he's been messaging my family trying to convince them as much.

I'm heartbroken. Running on adrenaline I think because I can't sleep or eat. I need to figure out the next steps in terms of the practicalities of divorce and the children but I can't think straight because I have 2 under 2 to look after. I'm on maternity leave at the moment so have no income of my own. I can't believe he's done this to us, to our family.

OP posts:
Twyford · 04/08/2023 08:13

Neverimagined · 04/08/2023 01:08

Thank you @FOJN. I didn't realise at the time but it turns out that I have a tooth abscess and the infection had started to spread, so I was shaking and weak and sweating and could hardly stand up. Thankfully I dragged myself to the dentist purely because the pain was unbearable, and after a couple of days of antibiotics I'm feeling much better.

Given the messages he's sent to my family though, he seems to think that I was simply being difficult due to the latest mental health condition he's diagnosed me with, PMDD, which he says has 'coincidentally' come back after almost 3 years of me being pregnant and breastfeeding my 2 boys. As if being too unwell to get out of bed somehow equates to being on an uncontrollable hormonal rampage.

He's always tried to convince me I have something wrong with me mentally and as well as PMDD he's suggested I have OCD, ADHD, autism, borderline personality disorder and probably more. It's exhausting. He is never ever in the wrong, and if I disagree with him, am upset by anything or get annoyed in any way then it's because I'm crazy or hormonal. I now believe this is gaslighting, but for such a long time I believed him that I was the problem and bent over backwards to work on myself and try to change for him.

Now he's gone I'm starting to realise how much DD and I were living on eggshells around him. Like I said I have a lot to process. However, I am also absolutely terrified that he's going to try to make me look crazy in court and try to take my boys. He's an expert at twisting things around. He's going to be a nightmare to divorce and co-parent with because if there's one thing he cannot stand it's not being in control.

The courts are quite used to hearing those sorts of allegations from controlling men. He's not going to be able to substantiate them, is he - you'll have things like the dentists' confirmation of the actual reason you were ill. They will also have the benefit of independent evidence from whoever is appointed to look after the children's interests if it comes to a big fight.

I also suspect that if and when he finds himself in a situation where he can't control and manipulate you, and doesn't have you to do all the hard work around child care, he may well lose interest and walk away.

LittleMoReturns · 04/08/2023 08:14

I’m so glad you called the police. You have done absolutely the right thing. His behaviour is atrocious - cruel, abusive and dangerous. You have done the right thing for yourself and your children. Flowers

BertieBotts · 04/08/2023 08:16

You are doing fantastically well.

Anyone would display symptoms of disorders like you have said when they are subject to abuse and control all day every day. It's torture. There is nothing wrong with you, you are reacting perfectly normally.

Now you are going to have to be very vigilant and observant. The parts of our brains that detect threat and safety are very primitive, and they get easily confused. Over the next few days, you'll very likely find that your memories of the abusive incident and previous abuse start to fade or fragment, because they don't fit in to the narrative of him being your loving husband (which your "primitive" threat-detecting brain likes a lot, because it feels safe and makes sense). The wish for everything to just go back to normal can be extremely powerful, so much so that it can actually override your real memories. The modern/evolved bit of your brain that can do reasoning and understand that one person can act in different ways is not as well equipped to detect threat, so it won't be as good at overriding the "Danger! Seek safety!" signals, instead it tries to make sense of them, so you will find that thoughts creep in like "Well it was out of character" "Now he's done that, surely he won't do it again?" "He was REALLY stressed/grieving/drunk, maybe it is excusable" "I was being really difficult".

This generally happens to perfectly coincide with the abusive man's apparent 180, when he realises that he really might lose control of you and turns on the charm - he will be apparently remorseful, he will cite how much he loves you, he will claim to be heartbroken/desperate/suicidal, you will have ruined his life, taken his children, ruined his career (whatever makes you feel guilty). He is likely to come up with all kinds of promises, often extremely vague when you actually look at them (I'll do better, I'll treat you better, I'll go to counselling, I'll get help, we'll be a real family, give me one more chance, I promise I will never). Sometimes they do start doing specific things you've always asked for, like buying flowers or making dinner or looking after the DC.

Notice that the apologies are generally about him and what he has lost. Not about you and how you must have felt. Notice that the promises are grand and sweeping but lack specifics. They say they will go to counselling, but they expect you to arrange this and then they probably won't go/engage. (Regardless of whether you want to try again, never go to counselling with an abusive partner). Notice that they seem to have known/been listening when you tell them what you wanted from the relationship, but they only bother to do it now, when they think they are about to lose everything. They don't do it day to day when you wanted them to do it.

The combination of that glimpse of how you always wanted the relationship to be, the wish that everything could go back to normal like before this ever happened and the knowledge that you could make it go "back to normal" by forgiving the incident is really hard to fight - it's exactly why most people go back to abusive relationships multiple times, even when from the outside it looks really obviously like a bad idea. But you must fight it (and you can!) because it is never ever true, it is false hope, abuse always repeats and escalates.

This is what you can do:

  • Keep your memories of the abusive incident clear. Write down what happened, what you felt and thought. Take photographs of any physical damage (e.g. the wet patch on the bed), bruising, etc.
  • Write down any other things that you can think of - your "boiled frog" comment. Whether this is in a private diary, in discussion with a counsellor (there are charities which provide DV specific counselling) or on something like a MN relationships support thread.
  • Read/learn everything you can about abuse dynamics. Lundy Bancroft Why Does He Do That is excellent or the book Living With The Dominator, or the Freedom Programme.
  • Tell everyone you know IRL. Reporting to the police is EXCELLENT. When other people know about it, it becomes more real and is less easy to just forget that it happened and return to normal. Getting authorities involved is even better because you will have for example social services not wanting your children to be in this environment, which helps remind you that it is really serious and not just something to ignore or excuse.
  • Don't engage with him. Absolutely minimal contact. Screen it through somebody else if you have the option. Choose someone who will be hard as nails unsympathetic. If he does the threatening suicide thing, ask the other person to contact the police but not tell you.
  • Do engage with any agencies/authorities put into place to protect you and the DC. Contact Women's Aid and/or your local police DV unit, take everything offered.
  • When you feel able, no rush on this at all, start making changes and doing things in your home that he would have objected to or made a fuss about to make it your own. Revel in watching what you want on the TV, squeezing the toothpaste the way you like, listening to music. Sing along if you want to. Get your hair cut. Rearrange the furniture. Buy new bedding. Throw out the picture you always hated. Whatever makes it feel like you are in control in your house.
  • Reach out to family and friends. Abusive men often corrode their partners' support networks by damaging relationships. Sometimes the damage is done, but some people will be delighted to hear from you and keen to meet up. Invite them over, spend time nurturing and strengthening those relationships. Notice what it feels like to spend time with people who actually like and value you. Go out to groups in your community - toddler groups or summer holiday meet up things. Make and strengthen all those connections.
Good luck. You can absolutely do this. MN is brilliant for keeping you strong.
Hollyppp · 04/08/2023 08:19

Well done OP!

you even more amazing in my eyes as a mama of 2 under 2 because when you have little people a big change in your life seems like even more work than normal (as a mama of a toddler and newborn) so you are a mega star for being so strong

Beargrumps22 · 04/08/2023 08:21

contact Women's Aid who will help both you and your children on your journey

Choccyoclocky · 04/08/2023 08:22
Flowers
Qilin · 04/08/2023 08:25

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 04/08/2023 03:17

Your poor daughter. I hope you can get her into therapy. She's the real victim in all of this mess.

Good luck.

Are you really suggesting that the op isn't a real victim in this too?
Because that's what you're post implies.

Yes, the children are victims also, but so is the op.

HopityHope · 04/08/2023 08:26

No advice but a huge well done for calling the police. You’ve taught your daughter this behaviour is wrong and she is entitled to leave and get help of that happens to her in the future. That’s the biggest gift you have given for her to be emotionally healthy when she is an adult. You did that, strong super you.

Bechey · 04/08/2023 08:31

Well done on calling the police! It’s harder than people think to do this. I was in your position 6 months ago, I was shocked as to what had happened to our family but as the fog lifted I could see he’d been controlling me for the duration of our marriage. Women’s aid and the police helped me tremendously and now I’m in such a different position. It’s taken time and it’s been hard but my god it’s been worth it for me and my children. I just wanted to let you know things do get better although now you may feel like your worlds falling apart.

Busybeemumm · 04/08/2023 08:32

speakout · 04/08/2023 06:57

Well done OP.

a good man would be wracked with guilt, begging for forgiveness and promising to change

Just had to point out that abusers will also say this.

Often.

Totally agree with you speakout. A good man would not have done this is the first place. Its often the case that men perpetrating DV will promise to change, allowing the cycle of abuse to continue. Apology or not, his violence wasn't acceptable. Well done OP.

katmarie · 04/08/2023 08:41

Excellent advice from @BertieBotts Hope you're continuing to feel better this morning OP.

nettie434 · 04/08/2023 08:53

I just wanted to say well done on calling the police. There was no excuse for how he treated you.

Allthecatsandcosyblankets · 04/08/2023 08:55

Well done for ringing the police OP, too many men get away with abuse by brainwashing their partners.

I agree with writing everything down, especially how you feel as when the adrenalin wears off you may start to question yourself, if this excuse of a man tries to convince you things didn't happen how you say they did, or he promises you the moon its important you have a clear recollection of what went down.

In my experience he may threaten suicide as emotional blackmail at some stage. So please please write every single detail down and how its made you feel, his words and reactions.

Just watch how his attitude changes when he sees his 'my wife is crazy' act doesn't work. Watch how many different tactics he uses. Stay strong OP x

Butterfly44 · 04/08/2023 09:00

So sorry for all you went through. You did the right thing and today is the first day or you're new life, for and your children. It can only go up from here Flowers

MrsMarzetti · 04/08/2023 09:08

You have taken the first and hardest step to a wonderful new life, although things may get hard they will never be as hard or heartbreaking as knowing your poor child witnessed that. You can and will survive this as will your children who will now grow up surrounded by love and peace. Be proud of yourself Flowers

EdithStourton · 04/08/2023 09:09

Oh OP. 💐
I second the recommendation to read Lundy Bancroft. My father was coercive, manipulative and verbal abusive, though rarely violent, and that book just opened my eyes.

thaisweetchill · 04/08/2023 09:10

Good on you. I'm so glad you're finally realising this. A family member is 30 years in with teenagers and she had to phone the police on her 'D'H a few months back, she's finally realised how violent and controlling he is. Unfortunately it's already affected the kids, they despise him and I feel it's messed them up for life, they can't wait to move out.

PLEASE leave now whilst they're young and they don't have to live through this hell.

Moanthensmum · 04/08/2023 09:12

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP as a result of the bad bad choices of a weak man.

You did the right thing remember that and that we are all thinking of you and that you have family and friends in real life who will have your back.

You did the right thing don't let him manipulate you or try and make you doubt your decision. It's like someone else further up said, a good man would have been making you teas, tucking you up in bed, helping you rest and looking after your kids. Never forget that his choices did this.

Sending so much love and hugs x

ilovemydogmore · 04/08/2023 09:14

Well done for showing your daughter that men shouldn't get away with abusive behaviour towards women. This will have a lifelong impact on her for the better.

WalnutBlue · 04/08/2023 09:37

I'm so glad you reported this to the police it must have taken a lot of strength.
Hope you are feeling better soon, you are making the right decision.

Your poor dd how traumatic, you have the proof that he assaulted you and also that you were ill so don't be afraid.
I would take every step to get away from him now that you've got the ball rolling.

Backstreets · 04/08/2023 09:42

What a monster. Get well away from him. Lots of luck!!

Mary46 · 04/08/2023 09:47

Awful behaviour. So sorry for you op. Hope absess is okay.

MillWood85 · 04/08/2023 09:47

I'm so sorry for what he did to you. Please don't underestimate how shocked you're going to feel, especially when the adrenaline you're running on wears down.

Just try to keep things calm and steady, and take it hour by hour. You'll get through this.

LakieLady · 04/08/2023 09:50

Your DH got himself arrested, by his vile and abusive behaviour. Don't blame yourself, you did the right thing and reporting abuse takes a lot of courage, so pat yourself on the back for that. You've also shown your daughter how important it is not to tolerate an abusive man, which is a valuable lesson and one I wish I'd learned at an early age.

I hope you're feeling calmer, and I'm really pleased that he can't come back to the house for now. Getting a solicitor will help you through the next steps and ensure he can't come back to the house again.

Hugs all round to you and your DD. 💐You are awesome and you've got this.

marmitegirl01 · 04/08/2023 09:56

I just wanted to say keep posting on here. You will get lots of support from people who have been there. There are some very knowledgeable and (sadly) experienced women who will help you. Don't be afraid to ask for help & reassurance.
Keep strong.
Best wishes

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