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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I had DH arrested yesterday

280 replies

Neverimagined · 03/08/2023 23:41

I'm just in utter shock. I was too ill to get out of bed, he was demanding I get up and look after the children. I begged him to let me rest and he threw a glass of water over me then dragged me out of bed and down the stairs. In front of my DD9 who was screaming at him to get off me.

I'm just in shock. I was starting to open my eyes and realise that some of his behaviour was controlling/coercive/gaslighting, but I never thought he'd be violent. Especially in front of the kids. He hasn't shown any remorse. Everything is always my fault because I'm crazy/unstable/hormonal according to him and he's been messaging my family trying to convince them as much.

I'm heartbroken. Running on adrenaline I think because I can't sleep or eat. I need to figure out the next steps in terms of the practicalities of divorce and the children but I can't think straight because I have 2 under 2 to look after. I'm on maternity leave at the moment so have no income of my own. I can't believe he's done this to us, to our family.

OP posts:
Twyford · 14/08/2023 16:05

Neverimagined · 11/08/2023 16:28

Thank you. Your message is harsh but it's what I need to hear and what I need to keep reminding myself.

Is that why he jumped straight to 'well I want to divorce her anyway'? Because he doesn't care about me?

I feel so unlovable. And like such a failure. We've only been married for 2 years.

The fact that one piece of scum behaves like this towards you absolutely does NOT mean you are unloveable. It almost certainly means he is incapable of love, because he's far too bloody selfish.

LookItsMeAgain · 14/08/2023 21:37

How are you doing today @Neverimagined ?

roses321 · 15/08/2023 15:47

By all means write the letter, have imaginary conversations and go for your life, but never let him know.

I did, and shall I tell you what it got me? It got me frustration, because he refused point blank to see that it was THAT bad. It wasn't physical for me like it was for you, but the mental abuse put me on my knees and I nearly lost my job and my sanity. He didn't care. He just minimised it and told me I was crazy.

All this business of "I was going to divorce her anyway" and going on a lads holiday is nothing but refusing accountability, minimising the situation and trying desperately to find something in his own mind that allows him off the hook for what he's done. He knows what he's done, he is well aware and I hope it eats him alive to be quite honest.

It appears that some of these men have an enormous capacity for being assholes, but fuck all capacity for accountability for their actions. Silence is your best weapon to be quite honest because no matter what you say to them, they will simply respond the same way anyone incapable of facing their own shame would respond: They'll blame you.

Don't do that to yourself, stay silent.

Coulditreallybe · 17/08/2023 00:32

Hope you’re ok @Neverimagined

Rabbitsandgerbils · 18/08/2023 15:03

Have you written your letter@Neverimagined ?

If so do it for you and keep it for future reference to read whenever you doubt yourself but I agree with all of the PPs who said DON’T send it otherwise you reveal your hand in any future negotiations because he will then work on defending all and any accusations in that letter and refuting anything you have said.

He knows what he has done. He is now trying to avoid revealing the monster he is to the world.

You might want to try this book:

POWER: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional Abuse by Shahida Arabi.

Maybe listen to it on audiobook when the kids are in bed…

as he sounds like he has a lot of narcissistic traits and behaviours ie lack of empathy, a need to feel superior over you, a sense of entitlement, manipulation, gaslighting, mood swings, blameshifting etc.

It helps to learn the tactics of narcissists to see how to protect yourself.

He will try to ‘hoover’ you back in because if he can then he will think he can convince the world ‘look! It wasn’t that bad - she came back to me!’ So don’t ever go back… You and your kids deserve far better.

Youtube has some good videos on recognising and managing these narcissistic tactics (search narcissistic abuse) and as a PP said your best defence at the moment is silence as then he has nothing to get at you with and he can’t further label you as ‘crazy’ if he is not able to provoke any retaliation from you.

Sending big hugs. It is so hard but each day you are getting stronger, even if you don’t feel it. Xx

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