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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My partner just slapped me

477 replies

yvonneb13 · 23/07/2023 22:43

I'm in shock maybe disbelief I'm a little drunk after being at a festival and my partner phoned me to say our little boy wasn't settling I said I'd get the bus home which I thought was 9pm turns out it was 9;15 so I got home late he went absolutely mental doesn't want to be with me anymore called me so many names and then slapped me across the face and saying if I don't get out his way he's going to batter me I've been with this man for 13 years and this is the first time ever I've seen this side of him I'm currently crying in the living room and he's in the bedroom and I'm just in shock I'm gonna leave him I never thought in a million years he's ever hurt me and hear I am with a sore cheek that's all red it's not fair because I never go out in always the one who looks after the baby and the one night I don't rush to be home when he said I get this I honestly can't believe it

OP posts:
Blossomed · 23/07/2023 23:33

I’m so sorry OP. This sounds awful. Please do listen to previous posters and call the police. You have just been assaulted. It is not your fault. Even if you feel you can manage, having this recorded officially may be helpful for you going forward. Sending ❤

DoubleTime · 23/07/2023 23:36

If he is asleep, why not leave now. If you wait until tomorrow then he will be p and about and there might be another row.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 23/07/2023 23:42

Please take a photo of your red face and call the police. He has assaulted and threatened you. He is clearly a very controlling and abusive twat. You and your child deserve better op. Please be careful and safe.

DoubleTime · 23/07/2023 23:43

You were in the livingroom before OP, and he was in the bedroom. What happened next when he came down?

Myyearmytime · 23/07/2023 23:44

Please phone the police because thr courts won't believe he hit and will need to believe you

Itsbritneybitch22 · 23/07/2023 23:45

Why haven’t you called the police?

Verbena17 · 23/07/2023 23:47

So sorry this has happened to you.
Call the police and let them remove him - you shouldn’t have to leave your house.

Teenagehorrorbag · 23/07/2023 23:47

So sorry you're going through this, OP. 13 years is a lot to move past, please be strong if (when) he is all apologetic in the morning and says it was a one off and he was just stressed......

I had an abusive partner (though to be fair he showed his true colours soon after we met, so not quite the same). But they can be very persuasive, and only get worse over time. Please don't stay with this man, and get you and your baby to safety. Good luck Flowers.

Daisymae55 · 24/07/2023 00:02

Please call the police op this needs to be reported and he needs to be removed

and please check and keep a close eye on your baby, if he’s suddenly switched he may have harmed him too (probably and hopefully not but please check him)

BlastedPimples · 24/07/2023 00:02

What you did was to go out. And be a little bit late.

That enough for a row and a slap from this man.

So it will make you reluctant to go it again, won't it? In case you can't get home quickly enough. And you get another slap. Or a kick. Or a punch. Or a head twisting.

Remember when you could go out and not even consider this kind of shit?

Now you have to.

Unless you bin this creep. It only ever gets worse.

BlastedPimples · 24/07/2023 00:03

Make you reluctant to do it again is what I meant to type.

letthemalldoone · 24/07/2023 00:03

Is there anyone you could call to come and collect you and your baby and get you to safety? Tonight?

Please call the police. This is a warning. You need evidence. Get out x

JimnJoyce · 24/07/2023 00:04

Why can't you be arsed ?

Greenshake · 24/07/2023 00:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Original poster
yvonneb13 · 24/07/2023 00:06

I just feel broken I'm lying here staring In to space I don't want to move I don't why to be anything right now

OP posts:
Greenshake · 24/07/2023 00:09

OP as hard as it is, you need to call the Police. This will not be the end of it.

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 24/07/2023 00:09

You and your baby deserve to be treated so much better than this!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 24/07/2023 00:10

It will be baby who is hit or shaken next you are doing the right thing leaving but please call womens aid for advice on doing it safely as it's a dangerous time for you

Zippeedidodah · 24/07/2023 00:11

He doesn't want you to go out, he wants you to stay in the house while he goes out. When someone accuses you of something it means they are doing it themselves, he's probably the one doing the cheating and looking for an excuse to pass his guilt onto you
It's a familiar story, it's like me but I left in the end. 13 years is a long time, baby or not its time to pull the plug he's hit you, game over

Themisthefacts · 24/07/2023 00:11

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

The woman has just been assaulted by someone she has trusted for over 10 years and you are judging a phrase she has used. It’s not an odd thing to say at all. When your whole world has just came crumbling down. When you are facing the prospect of being a single parent . Maybe she is in shock and numb.

TopMog · 24/07/2023 00:15

At the top of the page is this message from Mumsnet:

If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
__

If a man hits a woman just once, he has overstepped the boundaries of respect and kindness. It opens the door to further and escalated abuse. Do not accept it. Definitely call the police, and lay a charge of assault.

Whose home is it? Can you get him out? Can you have all the locks (including window locks) changed immediately?

Be safe for you and your baby.

Love to you both.

Domestic Violence Support Webguide | Mumsnet

A guide to information and services related to domestic violence. Find reliable organisations and support services here.

https://www.mumsnet.com/i/domestic-violence-webguide

Greenshake · 24/07/2023 00:17

Themisthefacts · 24/07/2023 00:11

The woman has just been assaulted by someone she has trusted for over 10 years and you are judging a phrase she has used. It’s not an odd thing to say at all. When your whole world has just came crumbling down. When you are facing the prospect of being a single parent . Maybe she is in shock and numb.

Show quote history

I am not judging it at all, so calm down. I found it a strange phrase that’s all.

London22 · 24/07/2023 00:20

I'm so sorry OP that this happened to you. But you can either play this two ways. 1. you ignore his physical warning and listen to his bullsh** excuses tomorrow and hope this won't become you're new normal, until the next incident. Or 2. You don't minimise this and heed the warning and don't become a statistic. Contact women's aid or national domestic violence helpline for advice on how to move forward. Please don't allow this to become your normal. This is how this nonsense starts.

IHateLegDay · 24/07/2023 00:21

Tomorrow he will come to you with his tail between his legs, crying and begging you not to leave.
Do not fall for it!! If you forgive and stay, it WILL escalate. It WILL get worse.
Your baby needs you safe and alive.

I'm so sorry he has done this to you. Please call someone to help you leave tomorrow. Without another person there, he'll make it difficult.

DoubleTime · 24/07/2023 00:23

You sound v. tired OP, and no wonder. But once you get you and Baby out of there, you will be able to rest up and clear your head a bit. You packed a bag already you said, so you just need to get some money together and book a room in a hotel. Leave quietly when you are sure he is asleep.