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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My partner just slapped me

477 replies

yvonneb13 · 23/07/2023 22:43

I'm in shock maybe disbelief I'm a little drunk after being at a festival and my partner phoned me to say our little boy wasn't settling I said I'd get the bus home which I thought was 9pm turns out it was 9;15 so I got home late he went absolutely mental doesn't want to be with me anymore called me so many names and then slapped me across the face and saying if I don't get out his way he's going to batter me I've been with this man for 13 years and this is the first time ever I've seen this side of him I'm currently crying in the living room and he's in the bedroom and I'm just in shock I'm gonna leave him I never thought in a million years he's ever hurt me and hear I am with a sore cheek that's all red it's not fair because I never go out in always the one who looks after the baby and the one night I don't rush to be home when he said I get this I honestly can't believe it

OP posts:
Original poster
yvonneb13 · 24/07/2023 00:24

I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve this

OP posts:
dinosaursgorawrrr · 24/07/2023 00:24

From the bus timetable and timing this sounds like latitude that you've been to? If you are near a town beginning with H send me a message and I'm happy to try and help.

Woman's aid will help you, try and give them a call 💜

IHateLegDay · 24/07/2023 00:25

yvonneb13 · 24/07/2023 00:24

I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve this

You haven't done anything. Abusers don't need a reason to abuse.

nocoolnamesleft · 24/07/2023 00:26

You have done nothing to deserve this. This was not your fault. It is 100% on him. You did a perfectly normal thing by having an evening out, and he is punishing you for it.

peekaboob · 24/07/2023 00:26

You must call the police.

DoubleTime · 24/07/2023 00:26

DP just wasn't coping with baby duties OP, and he took it out on you.

Findyourneutralspace · 24/07/2023 00:28

You haven’t done anything to deserve this. You are in shock and will need to process it in a safe space. But it is absolutely not your fault. Even if you’d stayed out all night, he would have no right to slap you. And you didn’t do that.
This is him, not you. Can you get yourself a cup of tea safely, to ground yourself a bit?

Greenshake · 24/07/2023 00:29

If you don’t want to call Police, have you thought about using the live chat service they have on the force website?

peaceofmind1 · 24/07/2023 00:30

yvonneb13 · 24/07/2023 00:24

I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve this

you did NOTHING to deserve this

Sometimeswinning · 24/07/2023 00:31

DoubleTime · 24/07/2023 00:26

DP just wasn't coping with baby duties OP, and he took it out on you.

There is way more to this. I don't cope at times. I don't smack someone round the face because of it!

Beaverbridge · 24/07/2023 00:34

Oh god this is horrendous. Please report to police. He's an abuser.

CandyLeBonBon · 24/07/2023 00:34

Exactly @Sometimeswinning

DoubleTime · 24/07/2023 00:34

People have different thresholds, my point was that it was not deserved.

WallaceinAnderland · 24/07/2023 00:34

He's never been aggressive towards you because you've never stepped out of line. You've accepted that you are a prisoner in your own home.

This time you went out and now you see your punishment. If you let it go he will know that you accept it.

Please call the police.

DoubleTime · 24/07/2023 00:38

Will the police remove him ? Or would OP be safer leaving first and then reporting it? I would go with the latter

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 24/07/2023 00:44

Take a selfie before the mark fades as evidence in case you decide to go to the police.

Can you leave tonight, maybe stay with friends or family? Pack a bag with basics for you and the baby, make sure you have passports etc and essential meds, baby stuff for first couple of days, toothbrush and clean knickers, other stuff can be bought or retrieved later.

So glad that you are already determined to leave.

You didn't deserve it.

caringcarer · 24/07/2023 00:45

KoolAida · 23/07/2023 22:47

Phone the police.

I'm so sorry. But you need police to remove him and to charge him.

You should not leave he should. Call the police and have him charged. Let the police photograph your face. How dare he treat you like this. Don't let him get away with it. Press charges.

Codlingmoths · 24/07/2023 00:46

You poor thing op. I hope you’ve taken a photo. You would be in your rights to call the police, I hope you know that. It is a good idea if you think he will be difficult about the separation. I’m so glad you see that this isn’t right and you have to leave, sending strength for you to carry through in the morning.

ItsMyAeroplane · 24/07/2023 00:50

You need to photograph your face, and call the police. This is your insurance policy also.

You don’t want him near your baby. He is a violent man. I doubt he’ll get access on his own if he’s assaulting women.

Get your ducks in order, or you’ll regret not doing it later.

caringcarer · 24/07/2023 00:51

yvonneb13 · 24/07/2023 00:24

I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve this

You haven't done anything wrong and you definitely don't deserve to be hit. Has he hurt the baby? He is an abusive bully. Get a photo of your slapped face. Ring the police and get him charged. Make him sorry he hit you. Don't do nothing, no matter how sad you are, you are worth far better.

ItsMyAeroplane · 24/07/2023 00:52

Sorry, forgot to add.

Fucking man-coward.

Mulhollandmagoo · 24/07/2023 00:56

I would call the police right now, I know it seems tough, but this man will not be easy to separate from, and having this on file will help.you in the future - particularly with regards to custody arrangements

DoubleTime · 24/07/2023 00:58

What sort of charge do you all think he would get for this? It's not going to be behind locked doors.
Even if the police removed him tonight to question him, he could be back tomorrow. OP would need longer than one night to get a restraining order to stop him just coming back again or to prevent him approaching her.

And if he was angry at OP going out for the evening and leaving him to baby-sit, how do you all think he will react to a police visit ?
Wouldn't OP be safer leaving, and then reporting him ?

Feministwoman · 24/07/2023 01:03

yvonneb13 · 24/07/2023 00:06

I just feel broken I'm lying here staring In to space I don't want to move I don't why to be anything right now

Please call the police!

Batalax · 24/07/2023 01:05

Please don’t weaken and accept his apologies tomorrow. It will only escalate.

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