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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My partner just slapped me

477 replies

yvonneb13 · 23/07/2023 22:43

I'm in shock maybe disbelief I'm a little drunk after being at a festival and my partner phoned me to say our little boy wasn't settling I said I'd get the bus home which I thought was 9pm turns out it was 9;15 so I got home late he went absolutely mental doesn't want to be with me anymore called me so many names and then slapped me across the face and saying if I don't get out his way he's going to batter me I've been with this man for 13 years and this is the first time ever I've seen this side of him I'm currently crying in the living room and he's in the bedroom and I'm just in shock I'm gonna leave him I never thought in a million years he's ever hurt me and hear I am with a sore cheek that's all red it's not fair because I never go out in always the one who looks after the baby and the one night I don't rush to be home when he said I get this I honestly can't believe it

OP posts:
TopMog · 28/07/2023 06:35

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
yvonneb13 · 30/07/2023 22:08

1 week on. Feeling slightly better although I've had flowers and everything sent to the house he's went to police and "handed himself in" I'm not going back but this is all weird and confusing. Still staying with mum she's said I can stay as long as I want

OP posts:
Bodybop · 30/07/2023 22:11

Well done you x

VictoriaVenkman · 30/07/2023 22:30

Stay strong Flowers

Takeabreather23 · 30/07/2023 22:49

Glad your doing ok OP

His going to the police is a grand move . Something a controlling narcissist would do .
Also getting his side of the story in first is he ?!

I wouldn’t trust him.
x

IHateLegDay · 30/07/2023 22:50

You're doing so well! Remember, he can say what he likes and send as many presents as he can but if you go back, it WILL happen again and it WILL escalate.
You are doing the right thing in making sure that you and your baby are safe and have the best future possible.

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 30/07/2023 23:23

Well done for staying strong and not caving with the presents.
I think it's a controlling move, going to the police himself, he'll probably make out that it's for you and he's remorseful etc.

whynotwhatknot · 31/07/2023 00:16

i doubt it they prbably came to him

Tidlywinks · 31/07/2023 00:26

Good for you for staying strong, your doing the best thing for you and your baby’s future.

letthemalldoone · 31/07/2023 01:54

Don't even think of going back to him, and tell him to stick his flowers up his arse! He has shown you the 'man' he is and take heed xx

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 31/07/2023 05:20

You are amazingly strong. Wishing all the best for you. 💝

labamba007 · 31/07/2023 06:43

Well done, OP you're doing the right things. What he did was unforgivable.

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 31/07/2023 06:52

I’d have 50p on him not going to the police voluntarily. You should be able to check with the station if you have a crime number.

It needs to be on his record that he’s assaulted you because you don’t want the child left with him on his own if this is how he deals with stress. You don’t want a toddler being smacked around as well.

Bewildbefree · 31/07/2023 07:15

I read your thread and didn’t want to leave until telling you well done 💐
I wasn’t as strong as you and stayed for too long! I wish I has mumsnet!

Stay strong.

Can I ask though, is it your house, his, or joint? Because if its joint/council or yours. I would be getting the ball rolling to get him out!

MyTruthIsOut · 31/07/2023 07:17

He “handed himself in?”

Please don’t believe that bollocks OP.

FlamingoQueen · 31/07/2023 07:22

He may have handed himself in, but the Police will probably view that with suspicion. Don’t back down and don’t give up. You’ve done so well x

3BSHKATS · 31/07/2023 08:18

That’s actually funny he has not handed himself in at all. This is not a murder crime or the great train robbery. If he walked into the police station, theyd send him home with an appointment . They will deal with him in their time, his time not his, if at all.
All part of the charade

Lacucuracha · 31/07/2023 08:52

More likely the police have called him and he lied about what happened.

billy1966 · 31/07/2023 09:18

Lacucuracha · 31/07/2023 08:52

More likely the police have called him and he lied about what happened.

This.

He probably didn't expect police involvement.

Well done.

If only ALL women would report the first slap.

You are a brave woman.

He will play it down like all nasty scum like him does.

The police will be well used to dealing with thugs like him.

3BSHKATS · 31/07/2023 09:19

billy1966 · 31/07/2023 09:18

This.

He probably didn't expect police involvement.

Well done.

If only ALL women would report the first slap.

You are a brave woman.

He will play it down like all nasty scum like him does.

The police will be well used to dealing with thugs like him.

Show quote history

Don’t be under any illusions that the police will do anything though. But it will be recorded, which is helpful.

3BSHKATS · 31/07/2023 09:21

Lacucuracha · 31/07/2023 08:52

More likely the police have called him and he lied about what happened.

If he’s lied about it, the police will tell her.
They will tell you the reason why they’re not going ahead with any kind of prosecution or further action, if they don’t. So he won’t get away with lying.

billy1966 · 31/07/2023 09:23

3BSHKATS · 31/07/2023 09:19

Don’t be under any illusions that the police will do anything though. But it will be recorded, which is helpful.

Show quote history

You could be right, but she HAS fled the family home with a baby through fear and this is good to have recorded for free legal aid purposes, should she need it.

Beachwalker66 · 31/07/2023 10:55

Handed himself in? What bollocks.

Wheresthebeach · 31/07/2023 11:10

Don't believe a word he says.
Stay strong and stay away from him.

FMSucks · 31/07/2023 11:25

OP you are amazing and should feel so proud of yourself. I wish I'd been as strong as you, it took me years to leave. Keep putting one foot in front of the other xx