Yep, what truly made me lose faith in men was the number of taken ones who hit on me. I was out for drinks with colleagues a while back, and a man I had previously respected and thought was decent started unloading shit about his relationship on me, blubbering that he wasn't happy, and tried to kiss me. I was so upset that this man who had been pretending to be my friend was actually just waiting for a chance to monkey branch to me, or at least have a fling, while his partner was going through IVF. Needless to say, I told him to fuck off.
A lot of women tell themselves their partner wouldn't do this, but they're deluded, IMO. They do. This man's partner thinks he's a lovely guy, devoted and loyal, and so does everyone else. He's a piece of shit like most of them and just hides it better. Who could be bothered with this shit? Is it worth it?
Being single is frustratingly expensive. It's tiresome always having to pay single supplements and pay the mortgage alone and not ever have a default person to go to for emotional support or a spontaneous dinner out or a cosy Netflix evening, but is it worth it? Is it worth the constant worrying they'll cheat, the catering to their whims and moods? Begging them to do their share of the chores? Holidays being ruined because of silly arguments? Yes, I'm lonely, but I have peace of mind. I book holidays knowing I can do exactly what I feel like doing. I can go exactly where I want to go. I go to bed every night not worrying about snoring keeping me awake, or someone coming in at 3am after a night out 'with the lads' stinking of fags and booze. My flat is the way I like it, painted girly colours, neat and tidy, nobody messing it up or leaving socks on the floor. It feels like I actually have control over my life now. I'm not at the mercy of someone else's moods and behaviours at all times.
I was always scared of being single because I didn't want to be alone and in poverty but it turns out that once I stopped wasting my time on men, I had way more time to spend on levelling up. I retrained, got a job paying twice as much, and bought a flat on my own, something I never thought I'd manage. The household finances aren't being pissed away on mediocre pub dinners and drinks all the time, so I actually have money for 'big' things like holidays and little things that improve my quality of life (Nespresso machine, loads of plants, gym membership). I hadn't realised how much I was compromising, the extent to which I wasn't living the life I actually wanted, until I stepped out of dating and focused on myself. Dating feels like spending all your time and money in Vegas, hoping to hit the jackpot but ending up with nothing, or very little.