I paid for sex in the past when should I reveal this to my GF?

[Changedman]

I am 24 years old atm when I was 17/18 years old I paid for sex once(this is how I lost my virginity) I was with an older woman and she proposed me and said I could sleep with her if I gave her some money and out of stupidity I obliged. When I was 18 I paid for sex once after doing some research about the industry I felt disgusted and decided I would never pay for sex again and didn't and again. I know for a fact that the women that I paid aren't being forced or coerced and both did what they did independently and of their own free will but I do understand that It will be a deal breaker for a lot of women and I don't want to be leading people on so can I have some advice on how to conduct myself?

paying for sex is not going to help you in any way shape or form. Its not going to help your confidence its not going to help your self esteem its not going to make you less awkward. I know that what you really are is scared of rejection and ill be honest at your age if you go down this path there might be no going back. I dont get why you want to have sex with a woman so bad if its because you want to know what it feels like there are sex toys that you can buy that replicate the same feeling if its because you haven't seen a naked woman go find a strip club or something but dont go down this route

I literally do all of that but my friends will shag women and then will call them sluts the next day, my friends are extroverted and party animals while im the opposite.

@User593939108
Step 1 - get better friends. Why the fuck would you want to be friends with blokes like this?

but I will still respect the prostitute who im sleeping with

Paying someone to have sex with you is the highest form of disrespect. She is only having sex with you because you are paying her. Why on earth would you want to lose your virginity to someone who is most probably repulsed by you?

And you think women in this industry do this because they enjoy it? Because they make 'good money'. You are very much mistaken. Perhaps at first, once they are drawn into the industry with all sorts of expectations and promises (and yes, very often coercion), Almost every women in this industry a few years down the line will suffer mental illness, depression, addiction to try and cope with what they are doing. Women who have actual bonefide choices in life, do not choose this. A very significantly high proportion of women in this industry (excluding those who are trafficked into it) have some form of abuse, sexual exploitation, coercion or sexual assault in their past. A very high proportion. So you would very likely be paying someone who already has been abused or assaulted or exploited.
Very different to a woman who on a night out decides to shag one of your disgusting mates. Although quite honestly, your mates sound like the types who would 100% take advantage of a very drunk woman, shag her and then call her all the names under the sun to avoid further contact.

@User593939108 And just to add, you say you are a decent man.

You are not. decent men do not purchase women for sex. End of.

@Changedman situation is very very different from yours. he did not go out and seek out a protitute. he was propositioned by an older woman and quite frankly likely exploited in that regard by her. not the other way around. That led him onto a slippery slope and he paid the other woman for sex and then felt repulsed with himself.
And stopped and now regrets it fully as realises how wrong it was and actually how he was used the first time.

Very very different situations.

Any kind of treatment of women as commodity is generally a deal breaker for me.

However, your first experience I feel you were exploited. You were extremely young. The second experience is quite yuck, actually. You basically tried your luck with a woman who you discovered was already being treated as an object by another man. This is the behaviour of misogynists worldwide. Many of whom think of themselves as "good people". At extremes, it leads to abhorrent shit like Oxfam aid workers raping vulnerable women and girls in Haiti before giving them food.

But.... I think you understand this on some level and that's why you're here. And the second occasion also happened when you were essentially a child (our brains mature around 24 / 25). You are bathed in a misogynist culture - we all are - and it is hard to break free.

We all do stupid shit especially when young. If I met you now, I'd judge you on the sense you made of your actions and your current attitude towards women, porn, prostitution, strip clubs, only fans etc.

ill be honest my situation isn't completely different because I did do it a second time because I thought it was okay after my first time then I quickly realised it wasnt but in general you are correct

I think the first experience made me think that it was okay im it was actually after speaking to the second girl that I understood it wasnt normal for relationships to be transactional .When I first met her I wasnt planning on having sex but after some time it went there she kind of explained to me that she uses sex to keep men who spend on her around .

For people who say reveal it, do you hand in a list of all your sexual partners with listed circumstances of how/when/where you had sex?