I paid for sex in the past when should I reveal this to my GF?

[Changedman]

I am 24 years old atm when I was 17/18 years old I paid for sex once(this is how I lost my virginity) I was with an older woman and she proposed me and said I could sleep with her if I gave her some money and out of stupidity I obliged. When I was 18 I paid for sex once after doing some research about the industry I felt disgusted and decided I would never pay for sex again and didn't and again. I know for a fact that the women that I paid aren't being forced or coerced and both did what they did independently and of their own free will but I do understand that It will be a deal breaker for a lot of women and I don't want to be leading people on so can I have some advice on how to conduct myself?

Read your posts back. You sound awful. Have you been looking at 'incel' type material online? It's a nasty slope to slide down.

Most women aren't bisexual (no issue if they were but they're not), immigrants are not scuppering your romantic opportunities. Fab swingers seems an odd place to look for a first sexual encounter.

You're clearly not coming across well to women or are too shy to try. That is not the worst thing in the world but own it and take steps to become more confident. Paying for sex and blaming others is not the answer.

What do you think will instantly change after you do have sex? Nothing. You still haven't had to develop an approach to women because sex workers are being paid. Presumably you walk in, say why you're there, pay, and then they facilitate the encounter. That isn't how it works in non-paid sex at all.

This division of women into virgins and non virgins is part of your hostile outlook towards others due to your own lack of success in this area. I expect your resentment will move onto them having had more or easier experiences than you.

I strongly suggest you drop the idea of paying for sex, stop looking at these male activist or whatever they're called websites, drop your hostile views towards women, and look to what is preventing you from being an attractive prospect currently. With your attitudes, honestly, what do you think you bring to the table? Women are generally not going to be that interested in your job or money so that side is limited. Stop waiting to suddenly become sought after because of that if this is the way you behave. Pull your head out of your backside before you end up becoming a deeply and indelibly unpleasant person.

@User593939108 Everything you say is the most revolting, factually incorrect, misogynistic nonsense, every single thing, so I am going to stop responding to it now and I hope others do too. Enjoy your lonely life because no woman will touch you with a barge pole unless you pay for it.

All I can say @User593939108 is may god help any woman who ends up in the unfortunate position of entering into any kind of relationship with you.

Your posts have got more and more disturbing.

You are exactly the sort of man I Pray my daughters do not ever meet.

I’m sorry. I just can’t….
The only reason you’re unable to “get laid” is because you view women as non human. A hole. The way you have described women on here is fucking disgusting to be honest. They are HUMAN, not cattle or pineapples or pieces of meat.

You are also picky as fuck, but I get that, I do. However you have no clue. Most women aren’t bisexual. Most women aren’t overweight.

There really is very limited hope here so just you do you. I honestly don’t believe any woman will ever want to be with you because you’re misogynistic, fussy and unethical all rolled into one.

You keep blaming the immigrants, women’s weight, your shyness, and population gender imbalances if it makes you feel better. I can say for sure, without seeing or meeting you, that you’re the problem (your warped sense of entitlement and view of women, not you specifically).

I wish you well with whatever you do. Just remember NO woman or man wants to be having sex with someone who bought an hour of their time. I’d personally be mortified if I was a man who stooped to that. But hey, any hole’s a goal right.

It was in the past - no need to tell her at all.

This thread took a weird turn from the general consensus I have come to the conclusion that I probably won't tell her unless I am directly asked. And also to the bloke who wants to lose his virginity to an escort chill out the world of dating is never that serious and majority of the time a woman will assume you have already lost your virginity and the likelihood that you will be in a relationship with the woman you lose your virginity to is low so build some self confidence and go out and speak to women. Lastly for everyone saying you cannot purchase consent I believe you are correct however I dont think you understand that when sex is transactional the woman can tell the man to stop or slow down or not do certain things there are still clear cut boundaries. Tbh on my first time I was more of a recipient and put all control in the woman's hands.

Honestly, I wish you well. Take a look at yourself, improve, be nice and I’m sure women will gravitate to you.

There will be shy girls just like you, also looking for a hookup.

Take care of yourself and do something amazing that will make you feel good about yourself. Your confidence will follow naturally.

And always remember, women and men are humans. If they’re fat or thin, virgin or not, they are human. They deserve to be treated as such.

I can’t tell you what to do but I can tell you that if you pay for sex, especially after your first time, you will likely feel like shit and worse than now.

however I dont think you understand that when sex is transactional the woman can tell the man to stop or slow down or not do certain things there are still clear cut boundaries.

Well thank you for explaining it to us. Us women obviously don't 'understand'. We were all so confused so thank you for clearing that up.

Although perhaps you could explain further because I always though that when sex isn't 'transactional' the woman can STILL tell the man to stop, slow down or not do certain things and there are STILL clear cut boundaries?

I never said anything about women not understanding I clearly didn't specify gender😂but whatever man we both have differing opinions and that's fine maybe my perception is skewed because ive known girls who have escorted and had sugar daddies and they didnt feel as though it was coercive but whatever it is what it is

and also that's the point im making wether it is transactional or both parties still have the authority and right to withdraw consent at any point you can't rent someones body and do whatever you like

The advice to the OP from some posters including me- that he could just about pack up his experiences as a stupid teenage mistake and move on, wiser- does not apply to you, just in case you have read any of that and felt condoned.

You are a grown man and have some extremely disturbing views about, well, anyone who is not yourself or some abstract pure, pliable, virgin who may or may not materialise in the future.

I don't agree with the things the OP is now saying about how controlled and sanitised sex work is but please do not conflate your two situations. I for one would not advise you in the same manner as I did the OP. You have a lot of work to do on yourself and are going about it the wrong way entirely.

People always say "You can't buy consent" and yes I agree in cases where women are trafficked, being forced to sell their bodies. However, that doesn't mean a woman can never consent if cash is involved. There are many escorts who choose to do sex work and are most definitely consenting. It's rather patronising to tell a grown woman she's not consenting to sex when she clearly has. I could meet a man in a bar and offer him sex for £50. That would be my choice and I'd be consenting to have sex with him in return fir money.
In the situation described by OP an older woman approached a 17 year old boy and suggested sex for money. She was consenting.

ill be honest you are right 99% of sex work is exploitative in nature I was just bit defensive because I know that my situation differs bit because the first time I was proposed and we were both getting what we wanted and the second time I had a rapour with the girl and can understand her situation bit better

Say nothing

Did you use protraction? If not you need to tell her and make sure you are clean before you start a sexual relationship . She wouldn't expect it from you by the sounds of it so it's only fair she is aware .
If you did and are sure all is ok then keep it to yourself !

If I was the OP, I'd want to know if my new girlfriend was so unforgiving... Telling her would be a risk I think he should take, if only to ensure he doesn't develop a relationship with someone such as yourself.

So in your opinion exploiting vulnerable women and purchasing a human body to stick your cock in is a forgivable offense for a significant other?

Righto. You keep your low standards, I'll keep my high ones and everyone is happy.

I know someone who has paid for loads of sex workers when he is between relationships and and it sickens me but I wouldn't care about a couple of mistakes when you were young. I don't see why you would have to tell them.

wait so you dont see anything wrong with a middle aged woman asking a sexually frustrated UNDERAGE teenage boy for money in exchange for sex. Now I see where your head lies I can disregard your opinion

Women mostly don't like to shag misogynists. I suspect you reek of it and that's one of the reasons you don't get laid.

As my lovely DH says, "if you can't get laid as a men, try the following; get to the gym, eat healthy, develop a good sense of humour, make friends with women and treat them as fully rounded human beings, wash regularly, do a useful job of work, learn all the household tasks, be an effective and responsible grown-up man".

If you haven't done all of these things, it's your fault you can't get laid. If you do all these things and can't get laid, unfortunately it's no one's fault you can't get laid. IT'S STILL NOT WOMEN'S FAULT.

If your friends are charming, witty, nice to women... and you aren't, that's why. You hate women, you just want to stick your cock in them. We aren't stupid.

How many sex workers do you know? I know lots. Both professionally and personally. And this is not true. And you wouldn't know if they were trafficked and/or pimped by asking. Stop reading nonsense online and try getting some fresh air and exercise.