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Original poster

Just found out partner of 10 years pays for hand jobs

267 replies

Havanawinter · 15/07/2023 18:42

I was sending myself some pics on my partners WhatsApp and saw a random message thread, so yes I clicked. Turns out it’s for a Thai massage lady called Mimi who offers “B2B” which google tells me is basically a happy ending. I’m in total shock. I have confronted him and he admitted it. Said he has only been once but had another one booked in for a few weeks time.

He’s putting the kids to bed and I’m sat in the bedroom in absolute shock. I thought we were happy. We have 2 kids aged 5 and 2. We were discussing trying for a third. I’ve just started a new job. We’re not married, please don’t flame me for this, I can’t take it right now.

What do I do? I need a hand hold. And a hug. I can’t believe this has happened to me. I never thought I’d be here.

OP posts:
TheoTheopolis23 · 15/07/2023 19:49

Wtf is a fleshlight??

A male sex toy.

Shaped like a flash light hence the name pun.

It's lined with silicone or similar and they stick their dick in it and pull it up and down.

Some vibrate.

The entrance is shaped like labia or lips or an anus.

Sweetashunni · 15/07/2023 19:49

TheoTheopolis23 · 15/07/2023 19:49

Wtf is a fleshlight??

A male sex toy.

Shaped like a flash light hence the name pun.

It's lined with silicone or similar and they stick their dick in it and pull it up and down.

Some vibrate.

The entrance is shaped like labia or lips or an anus.

Thanks

TheoTheopolis23 · 15/07/2023 19:50

They usually squirt a pile of lubricant inside it too.

Some have labia modelled on famous porn actresses' labia.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 15/07/2023 19:51

Throw him out and move on as I could not and would not ever get past this and this is not a one off. Oh poor him he is lonely. Please put your standards higher as he will not change and has shown a total lack of respect for you and your family. Tell him to go stay with his family and take time out away from him to think about things and talk to your friends and family for support before he gaslights you back in to think that this is ok. You are doing your best for your child and his needs and you need support also and not this disgusting crap in your life. Reach out to those who love you and take comfort in your children and believe in yourself as you are worth more than this treatment. I could not even look him in the face again.

Elbowsandknees · 15/07/2023 19:53

TheoTheopolis23 · 15/07/2023 18:52

10 minute hand jobs off immigrant women solve loneliness .... Who knew.

We should clearly be prescribing them for mental health problems on the NHS.

What an absolute crock of shit.

Heart string pulling , poor me, manipulative crock of shit.

What do people usually do if they're feeling lonely?

Hint, it's not booking hand jobs with prossies.

All of this.

And he’ll have given not one fuck whether that woman was trafficked or forced.

And £130 for a hand job? He’s taking you for a fool if he thinks you’ll believe that.

Sorry OP. He’s just not the man you thought he was.

TootanCamin · 15/07/2023 19:54

After a quick google search B2B means body to body massage - if no one else has mentioned this. Of course this isn’t helping. If he’s feeling lonely, he should go to see a councillor. A handjob or whatever doesn’t make you feel less lonely. Probably worse tbh

TheoTheopolis23 · 15/07/2023 19:55

Lonely is slightly original compared to punters bingo - depressed, sex addicted, mental health problems, I feel neglected boo boo. Well I suppose lonely is a version of I feel neglected.

Is lonely short hand for I'm not getting to ejaculate enough? Because most people solve loneliness by trying to have some quality time with their partner or family or friends or down the pub.

What a strange type of "loneliness".

Conkersinautumn · 15/07/2023 19:55

I'd happily punch guys like this in the face, he's abusing women, lying, cheating and obviously places a his abusive jollies over his children's stability. Get him out of your life

Thosepeskyseagulls · 15/07/2023 19:56

Personally I would be asking him to leave the family home, at least for a couple of nights while I got my head straight. You may decide to try and rebuild your relationship, but if you do then he needs to feel the utter seriousness of this, how he almost lost you over it and would if he did it again. Otherwise he’ll just do it again.

TheoTheopolis23 · 15/07/2023 19:58

TootanCamin · 15/07/2023 19:54

After a quick google search B2B means body to body massage - if no one else has mentioned this. Of course this isn’t helping. If he’s feeling lonely, he should go to see a councillor. A handjob or whatever doesn’t make you feel less lonely. Probably worse tbh

Yeah Chinese & Thai immigrant women whose English is usually very basic (and who very likely wouldn't be doing that if they had any real choices) - paid by the half hour to massage you, run themselves on you and pull your dick ..... Are an interesting choice for solving loneliness.

I'm wondering what's wrong with op, who feels lonely too and has all that pressure on her with her kids, that she isn't buying clit rubbing happy ending massages from foreign hunks. And spending her (not readily available) household money on it.

LaviniasBigBloomers · 15/07/2023 19:59

OP, completely fine to leave the thread, I get that it's a lot but please, please don't ignore the advice to get an STI check for yourself. Please.

TheDuchessOfMN · 15/07/2023 20:00

He must have been to her quite a few times if he thinks she’ll remember him. Either that or he thinks very highly of himself Hmm

Acornsoup · 15/07/2023 20:00

It's so calculated - it's not even just opportunity.

ArthurPoppy · 15/07/2023 20:01

I hope you’re ok, must be an awful shock to you.

Jan069 · 15/07/2023 20:04

Sending massive hugs, what a horrible shock for you. xx

Jennybeans401 · 15/07/2023 20:08

I couldn't forgive him.its not worth the distrust and stress to stay in the relationship. I'm so sorry though, it's a shitty thing he's done.

Kaia20 · 15/07/2023 20:10

Better you google her number and see exactly what ‘B2B’ massage is, and how much she charges for and ‘hand job’ because I promise you he’s lying through his teeth.

NotAllPets · 15/07/2023 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Why are you being a dick?

There are some real tossers on this thread, some people just love to stick the boot in for no reason

FuckNuggets · 15/07/2023 20:12

Callyem · 15/07/2023 18:45

Did he say WHY?

Its a strange one. If I'm honest - it wouldn't be a break up for me at this stage. I'd want to talk it out, try to understand the motivation and be entirely reassured by him that it would NEVER happen again.

JFC! Why the hell not?

Dummycrusher · 15/07/2023 20:12

OP there are a lot of hysterical responses on here. This is about YOU and YOUR relationship. You need to think about what it means to you and whether you can move past it. Take some time to think it all through - if you don't want to call time on it then that's ok - don't feel pressured by outsiders' opinions. It's easy for people to tell you to LTB but much harder to do it in real life, especially when there are kids involved. Sending loads of good vibes your way good luck xx

adriftabroad · 15/07/2023 20:13

NotAllPets · 15/07/2023 20:11

Why are you being a dick?

There are some real tossers on this thread, some people just love to stick the boot in for no reason

Show quote history

I am NOT being a "dick". I am telling the truth. End.

Plbrookes · 15/07/2023 20:14

I'm not sure this helps particularly, but my understanding is that "b2b" means the woman rubs her body against the man and gives him a handjob. I know a legit massage for an hour can be £60-£80 so if he says he had a massage and b2b for £130 I could believe that. Which doesn't make it OK AT ALL but I wouldn't necessarily assume he's lying on top of what he's admitted to.

Justleaveitblankthen · 15/07/2023 20:14

I highly doubt that if he paid £130 he only had a hand job. 🙄

RogersOrganismicProcess · 15/07/2023 20:16

I feel sick for you op. I’m sorry you are going through this. I hope whatever you decide brings you and your children the greatest joy and peace of mind.

FuckNuggets · 15/07/2023 20:16

Havanawinter · 15/07/2023 18:48

He said he was lonely. Which I do get, I feel lonely too. Long story short our eldest is autistic and unable to sleep alone so I’ve slept in the bed with him every night since he was about 2. It’s not ideal at all and not what I imagined before I became a parent. But it’s our circumstances. We still have fairly regular sex (in spare room, living room, etc) and he truly is my partner and best friend. He never said he was unhappy or lonely. But he obviously was. Sorry I’m not making much sense right now!

My eldest is autistic. I spent the first 5 years of her life co-sleeping. DH never paid for handjobs because he was "lonely". Seriously OP, he's getting a lot more than handjobs and this has happened more than once. I'm sorry he's a twat. You do need to LTB.