Just found out partner of 10 years pays for hand jobs

[Havanawinter]

I was sending myself some pics on my partners WhatsApp and saw a random message thread, so yes I clicked. Turns out it’s for a Thai massage lady called Mimi who offers “B2B” which google tells me is basically a happy ending. I’m in total shock. I have confronted him and he admitted it. Said he has only been once but had another one booked in for a few weeks time.

He’s putting the kids to bed and I’m sat in the bedroom in absolute shock. I thought we were happy. We have 2 kids aged 5 and 2. We were discussing trying for a third. I’ve just started a new job. We’re not married, please don’t flame me for this, I can’t take it right now.

What do I do? I need a hand hold. And a hug. I can’t believe this has happened to me. I never thought I’d be here.

Wow this is news to me. Horrific.

Pornography and prostitution are fed from illegal people trafficking of vulnerable women. This would end things for me - does he think women are a commodity to be bought and sold?

I am so very sorry that this has happened - it must be a terrible shock for you and I send you a hand hold.

I’m just so sorry. What an awful thing to find out. Huge hugs.

Why is mimi saying you sure? With a shocked face?

That's a strange reply for a handjob.

The fact that he’s the one asking B2B just says everything in my eyes. Get rid of him

STD test now, again in 3 months, again in 6. Plenty of the big nasties have long incubation periods and show no symptoms for years.

He is lying. It wasn't the first time and it wasn't just a handjob.

He put a fucking x on the end

Omg. Never heard of B2B. But it’s beyond sleazy. What a revolting pig he is OP.

Just had a quick look ok UK punting - B2B seems to be body to body. They oik.uk and rib their body all over the punters body as part of it.

That's what it looks like anyway.

Must cost more than hand job.

*oil up

Yes, the punter gets naked first, at some pint during the massage the prostitute gets naked, ours oil all over herself and/or punters and rubs all over his body back and front. Mostly with boobs.

I agree that him using the abbreviations sounds like he's not exactly a newbie at this game.

That’s what I was thinking. Very odd response.

It's much more expensive than a hand job, by the looks of it ... Nearly 3 times the price. That's why she's (or whoever) is doing the taken aback emoji and asking is he sure he wants to pay for that.

Casually dropping in a punter/prostitution slang doesn't make him sound like it's his first or even second rodeo

Can people stop and remember that OP is reeling from probably the most shocking and devastating news she’s ever received before they post jokey comments or post 😂 in response said ‘hilarious’ comments? It’s really insensitive.

OP I’m so sorry, you deserve SO much more than this and so do your children. I’d be furious that my DH

1. cheated on me
2. did so with someone who had to be paid to do it rather than a willing participant. Happy, economically secure women aren’t generally working as prostitutes. At ‘best’ he’s exploiting a woman who’s most likely been abused in childhood or adulthood, at worst he’s exploiting a woman who’s been a victim of sex trafficking.
3. was willing to throw a hand grenade into my children’s lives all for the sake of an orgasm.

I couldn't get past it. DH would never be the same man to me as before. A year into our relationship, I found out my ex slept with a prostitute before we got together. it didn't even happen when we were together and it was enough to make me leave. horrid.

He's done it before because he knows the lingo
It's more than a hand job at that price. Looks like both maked from what posters are saying.
He thinks women's bodies can be bought.
He thinks sex with random women is how to cure loneliness (forget trying to reconnect with your partner, just pay a random woman money you can't afford).
He lied and is still lying

Wtf is a fleshlight??

I’m a bit confused by the messages, she instantly quotes 130 as if she knows the service he wants and unless you have seen proof the last time was £50, I would assume last time was also 130 and that B2B involves a lot more than a hand job, because 130 is a hell of a price for a hand shandy.

I’m so sorry you’ve had this shock. I don’t know what I would do to be honest, probably leave him, but I know it’s easier said than done.

If you want to play the long game, marry him quick and initiate divorce proceedings after six months or so? The least you deserve is financial protection.

I haven't read the whole thread so not sure if this has been mentioned already, apologies if it has... b2b generally implies both him and her are completely naked and she basically gets all oiled up slides her body all over his. Definitely doesn't just imply a hand job unfortunately

I googled b2b..it means more than a hand job..that's why she said an hour presumably

"For the first time this year" - sounds like he was fairly frequently or regularly before. Either multiple years or multiple times last year. Sorry, OP.

1. Don't let him bully or gaslight you.
2. You are stronger than you know.

You sound like a lovely mum. Ignore the horrible comments

He says he didn’t ask why it was £130 this time (and I’ve seen all the messages) so I believe that to be true at least

He knows why it was going to cost £130 this time ....because he specifically asked for a body to body massage, instead of "just" a hand job.

You say it was exactly this and yet I wouldn't think that £120 is cheap!!!!!

Funny how these men always say "it was only once".

What about the exploitation of the poor woman providing the service - are you really happy that he has such a low values when it comes to women.

Do you have a daughter? How would you feel if it were her?

He's really pretty vile. I bed if you dig it wasn't only once and that for that price it was more than a hand job. Please order yourself an STD kit.