OW encroaching

[Trifleguzzler]

Hi all,
I haven't posted for ages but need some advice on this as I don't know what to do.
Bit of background, H left me for a much younger woman 4 years ago. It has taken me this long to heal from the trauma of it all. I was left to raise two SEN children totally alone while he shacked up with a girl half his age.

I didn't make anything difficult for him I cracked on best I could even though I was utterly devastated and was deeply depressed for quite a while. It was all very traumatic. Did the whole of lockdown totally alone, WFH full time and homeschooling.

Anyway, I have never met her. I keep them both at a distance and my children see him and her every other weekend.

My daughter has really struggled with the break up, along with starting secondary school ASD diagnosis. She was in a really bad way last year I honestly thought she would do something bad to herself. It has taken all my fight to get her on an even keel and she is finally at the end of year 8 doing okay.

Anyway, OW was sacked from her job 18 months ago, I don't know why but I didn't ask. And has been unemployed since, so I have been managing without any extra from Ex as he has been bank rolling her for the entire time.
She has now decided she is going to train as a teacher.
I found out last night she is doing it at my DD secondary school.

I feel so uncomfortable about it all mainly 'cause it feels like my terf as silly as that sounds, but I am quite involved with the school regarding my own job etc.
What also worries me is what information she will have access about me and my DD who has had intervention and counselling at school due to the divorce and OW situation.

I know I probably can't do anything about this. But I feel like she infiltrated my marriage and family and now she is working her way into the school life. She might end up teaching my friends kids and possibly my DS when he goes next year.

I just want to get on with my life and not have to worry about bumping into her on a daily basis while I collect my DS from the primary next door.

Anyway not sure what I am asking just needed to get it off my chest.

Yes I think this is what she is doing.

Meeting with head of school to chat about daughter.

Trifle - “DDs mental health has been good/bad/indifferent over holidays. It didn’t help her when she was told that xxxxxxxxx who is the ‘otherwomen’ that broke up her parents marriage would be on placement here”
Head - “Yes, I had heard. Please don’t worry Mrs Trifle we will ensure OW is kept well away from DD.”
Trifle - “oh marvellous. I am so relived. This school has been wonderful for DD and has given her such superb support I didn’t want anything to rock the boat. It didn’t help DD in the slightest when OW discussed her own self harm and showed DD her scars so I just didn’t want any repeat of anything like that - or worse! (Tinkly laugh)”
TUMBLEWEED ROLLS AROUND HEADS OFFICE
Head “ could you repeat that please Mrs Trifle”
Trifle “ which part? ( feigns innocence)
Head “ OW self harm discussions with DD”
Trifle “ oh yes! Well…………” (fill in blanks)

Thats how I would do it.
But I’m an utter vindictive bitch who wouldn’t be content to let it lie. It might not even mean anything much to the head - but I would get a sense of satisfaction from saying it.
Good luck Trifle- and please, let’s see a CSM letter landing coming through his letterbox soon.

Panic attacks?
Vulnerable?

She won't cut it as a teacher, then. Does she think it's all 9 to 3.30 and long holidays? She will get one hell of a shock.

I would calmly speak to the head to make sure she has declared her relationship with Dd's father, which she has a duty to before placement.

Advise the relationship is difficult and has effected Dds mental health, if her friends are aware of the circumstances etc, in case she has styled herself as a responsible stepmum to aid getting the position.

As a teacher she would know nothing about your daughters councilling that's is completely confidential don't worry

Rather OTT there! Are you naive enough to think that teachers are different form the rest of the population and have no marital problems? If you seriously think that a teacher who has been on the wrong end of a marital split should not be teaching anyone's children then lets extend it to parents, no contect with any children if you've been playing away!

P.s. huge huge drop out rate for trainee teachers, just Google it. Also the stress and workload is unbelievable, she isn't going to have any time for playing house, or weekends to entertain exdh, big changes afoot for them, I expect she'll quit, or relationship will implode or both.

The more I learn of this woman, the more convinced I am that her inglorious career in teaching will be over before it’s even started.

Schadenfreude is a beautiful thing

xx

Sending love to you and your lovely kids, OP

Also.. I'm here, with my popcorn, dairy milk bars and bottomless pot of tea.... ready for The Delicate Flower's Autumn Term fail

Yes I think it might as well.

I will definitely update. I will update what her counsellor says too.

Yes she possibly has. They make out to my exes parents that we are all great friends and get along wonderfully.
It's all bullshit.

Wow, what an absolute bitch to even take a place there.

Your poor DD. I think talking to the Head is a really good call here, and I would let him know the whole sorry truth.

OP, be prepared for when this teaching venture fails. You will almost certainly get the blame, even if you haven’t done anything. Your ex will definitely accuse you of interfering and causing trouble for his gf, leading to her having to give up her training!

She told my DD about it and not long agter my DD started to self harm. It was very superficial but she was cutting.

You really need to make the head aware of this. Somebody who encourages an autistic teenage girl to take up cutting herself should be nowhere near a classroom. Please please ensure the head is aware of this, along with all the rest of it.

She won’t last long when the kids at the school find out she is someone who has had an affair… her life will be a miser

really 🤔
I don’t think self absorbed teens will give two fucks

Yes I am fully prepared for that. I am blamed for everything that goes wrong in his life so I am used to it. I will give my usual response which is 🤷‍♀️

I don't think she encouraged her but she certainly gave her the idea. She hadn't cut herself before that point.

Trifleguzzler

nah you don’t need to be sorry for her
not your job !

but I’d def reframe her from OW to an Individual with not insignificant mental health issues
she’s likely to be crushed like a butterfly in a wheel by both your ex and this rather Ill advised career choice

That is encouragement, in my book.

“Miss Smith is having an affair with a girl in year 9th’s dad!!!” will definitely be of interest, especially to teenage boys if this is a young and reasonably attractive female teacher.

@Trifleguzzler if this thread reaches capacity and you need a 2nd thread then herein lies the title 😂

Op sounds you need to increase the grey rock with your ex

how is he doing this ? I am blamed for everything that goes wrong in his life

fuck that

can you reduce to a medium that’s factual
why and how is this type of data being transmitted ?

Yes, I have had this talk to myself today. We normally only text about the kids. So I don't need to do much more than I am doing. But I am going to limit the info hee gets on a need to know basis.

🤣🤣🤣