He Wants Me To Send My Daughter Away

[AshleyClare]

Hi Viewers
Hoping for a sounding board here please without attacking me.
I recently turned 40, single mum to a 12 year old girl. Divorced for 8 years. Only had one relationship in this time. My daughters dad lives in another area which is a fair distance away - 12 hour drive.
I was living in another town myself and relocated nearly 2 years ago for fresh start. The guy I was dating at the time has kept in touch. He was upset when I left but our relationship was strained and I didn’t see it going anywhere. The biggest reason is he had little interest or patience with my daughter and was always in a mood with me because we didn’t get much alone time because naturally I’m a single parent and my daughter was 9 when I started dating him. Even when I was in the previous town my daughters dad was far away and she hardly saw him. My daughter is getting close to teen years and can be a challenge with her attitude as can many pre teens.
So the ex boyfriend has been constantly asking me to move back to the previous town I was in and saying I must send my daughter to her father for 6 months so I can stay with him a bit and have quality time and save some money.
I’ve told him NO because my daughter doesn’t want to be away from me. She would feel I’ve chosen him over her and don’t care. She would have to change schools again. Plus if he struggled to accept her before, he’s not going to change and that makes a relationship messy being caught in between the two. Yes there’s nothing wrong with me dating but I always try put my daughter first.
This guy says any normal person wouldn’t see the big deal with having a little 6 month break from their child especially if they’ll get ahead financially too.
Can anyone agree that I’m making right choices and this guy is being very unreasonable

He's not the man for you, he's asking you to remove your child ... that's red flags and will never work.

... except he did...

You kept him this child's life and she hated him so much she told him/you she wished he would die....that's fucking awful that he was in her life like that.

I don't normally swear (much) but f**king hell why are you even asking?
No it is not normal to want to spend six months away from your child! FGS don't even explain, just block him for good!

You are definitely making the right choice! walk away now!

‘This guy says any normal person wouldn’t see the big deal with having a little 6 month break from their child especially if they’ll get ahead financially too.’
I don’t think any normal person would agree with this statement! What a tosser! I guess he doesn’t have kids?!!

I'm rather bemused that you would consider that he might be reasonable. He is a twat.

And this is a strange thread

He is a ''me, me, me'' person who wants to be the baby.

OP why ask for the opinions of others on whether or not this cock Womble is unreasonable when you KNOW he is being? More than than, I would say he's mentally unhinged to even propose a Mother part with her child... baffling

Red Flag, Red Flag, Red Flag.

Block him on every possible method of contact possible. He is a dick, prick and a**hole and that is being kind.

I would honest look at getting yourself some kind of therapy if you are even questioning yourself for saying no to him.

Its worrying you want confirmation this man is unreasonable when of course, obviously, he is. Of course your daughter wont want you dating - she has already been left by one parent so its just natural for her to feel that way.

I wouldnt give this man any more of your time or attention. You said relationship was strained in the past so there’s no point is there really. Your daughter at such a difficult age and will need your focus and attention as she navigates becoming a teenager.

Not sure why you are even entertaining such a clown of a guy. Clearly he has no children of his own. How would his suggestions even work? Would your DD swap schools every 6 months until she is 16? (Assuming the department of education or any school would even accommodate that). Personally I wouldn't want to be separated from any of my DC for 6 months (for a guy or anyone else). I don't really think you need advice on this OP as it's a no brainer as a PP has said.

Block, delete and work on your boundaries. I mean it kindly, but this is not the sort of thing you should need reassurance of.

I think your daughter is a better judge of his character than you obviously are.

He expects you to ship your daughter off to others for 6 months. And what if you want more children in the future? He sounds like a nutter to be honest.

this shouldn't be up for discussion. Dump him. Your kids come first. if he has to go, too bad.

if he isn't interested in being around kids, he has no business dating anyone with kids. What a knob.

NO WAY

"This guy says any normal person wouldn’t see the big deal with having a little 6 month break from their child especially if they’ll get ahead financially too."

This is what is known as "gaslighting."

Controlling abusive twat.
run like the wind.

I don’t even have any words for his ridiculous suggestion. I hope he’s on the block list now, don’t waste another second of your time on this guy

That’s completely different to what you said.

and I didn’t say he means more to you than her. But the fact that you chose to move back to your family, isn’t proof you always put her first.

I don’t think he means loads to you. But there’s still something there. There’s a reason you are maintaining contact. The reason you want to screen shot peoples comment to send to him.

If you didn’t give a shit you wouldn’t be trying to prove to him that he is a dick.

Why are you even discussing this with your ex boyfriend?

The bloke is an idiot. I take it he hasn't got any children? So he has no idea of the relationship between a (good) parent and child (your ex sounds useless, by the way).

Fuck him off, he's a selfish moron

Tell him to F off.