Why do some women like older men?

[Nightpain]

As a man in his 40s struggling with self-esteem at the moment, could anyone explain why some women seem to like older men? I cant understand the attraction.

Why might someone like a man in his 40s over a man in his 20s or 30s? I dont get it

@BunnyBettChetwynd that's a really good point. If you're comfortable with yourself it translates into confidence and confidence (not arrogance) is a really attractive trait. And that comes from within.

I have a hard time accepting what could possibly be attractive about me. Some women clearly do like men my age. I want to see in myself what they clearly see about men like me

But you are specifically asking about younger women. You have a partner. Ask her whats attractive about you? I bet its not your age but all the things she loves about you. Use that to boost your apparant low self esteem, not the opinions of women half your age who date older men.

I'm confused why you care if younger women would find you attractive and even more so the reasons why! If your partner finds you attractive then thats all that matters!

I think you just want a list of all the ways older men win over younger ones and if enough of them apply to you, you'll feel better.
Trouble is, it'll be a short list, because most of the traits women like in their 40s men could be found in a younger one too. The exceptions being life experience, possibly a bit steadier, if you like that sort of thing, further down the career path and more material stuff, house, car, salary etc.
Does that help?

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MNHQ

I was always very mature as kid and a teen, I have never ever been attracted to petite my own age. I met my DH when I was 24 and he was 40 and we are still together 20 years in. We are more in love now than we have ever been and anxiety Adore each other. I liked he didn't want to go and get drunk, gamble and live like my peers were doing.

@Nightpain I think it's a maturity thing plus, personally, I think men get hotter as they get older

That being said - i would never think someone is attractive because they are in their 40s. I just happen to have a personality of a grumpy old lady so naturally I got on well with a grumpy older man 😜

I’ve always gone for older men, although I married someone a similar age. In my twenties older men, just had their shit together a bit more. Perhaps it was materialistic on my part but compared to boys my own age they had houses, cars, good jobs, but more old fashioned and gentlemanly in terms of dating. When I was at uni, all the boys were in to their Play Stations and they all seemed like little geeks. I always found myself attracted to more blokey, older men. If I found myself single now (I’m 43) I’d probably go for someone 50plus.

I can understand a preference for a 30 something man over a 20 something man-child, for certain. I can understand someone wanting to be with someone who might not attract a great deal of attention from others, on the basis that they may more likely to be faithful.

I always have been attracted to older men (probably 20 years older). When I was a teen, I was attracted to men in their 30s, and now I'm in my 40s I find myself looking at men in their 60s.

I don't know why. Confidence, experience, tend to be more interesting to talk to, tend to be more accomplished? It's not something I can pin down. I don't think I have daddy issues, and I'm not interested in their money (at least not consciously!).

MONEY !.

@LlynTegid I wouldn't mind if that last part was true but unfortunately, the fanclub of middle aged men is quite big 😆

Out of interest, why would you date 8 years younger than you but only 2 years older? I know what would be said to men who had this attitude!

I'm on the fence. Whilst on the face of it, an older man (15-20 years older,) can be quite attractive (when you're say 40 or less,) I couldn't think of anything worse than being in a long term relationship or marriage with a man virtually old enough to be my dad. Wouldn't want to be a carer for the man I'm with in my 40s either, or be with a boring grumpy older man who doesn't want to do anything except sit in his slippers and dressing gown of doom watching tv - when I'm only 35-40.

Older men who are famous who date women 25-30+ years younger make me puke tbh. Leonardo Dicaprio, Mick Jagger, Zach Braff, Eddie Murphy, Steve Tyler, Johnny Depp, Al Pacino, Jeff Goldblum, Paul McCartney, and many more. WTF is wrong with women their own age?

Why do you want to appeal to younger women @Nightpain ? And why - as a supposedly happily married man - are you doing your best to look much more attractive to younger women all of a sudden? 🙄 You say that's not what you're doing, but it clearly is.

You are happy in your relationship but feel like shit. You want to feel attractive but specifically to younger women? You are having some cringy mid life crisis. I'm betting given the chance you would have an affair with a young woman

I'll tell you what's really unattractive. A 40 something man desperately wanting to feel attractive to 20 something women.

They will die sooner?

I've always gone for older men (usually about 10 to 15 years older).

I've just found them more mature, quietly confident and wordly wise.

Having said that, I ended up with a younger husband??!!

If I did it again (hopefully not), I'd probably want to marry an older man.

Oh, and it's nothing to do with a man supporting me. I can do that myself thank you!

This

My DH is 20 years older than me. He is handsome and very young at heart but I enjoy his ability to focus exclusively on me, the fact that my career comes first and he is a fantastic parent with lots of time and love and experience to give.

been together 12 years and married for 6. One DS

😳😆🤣🤣

I've always had a bit of a thing for older men and dated in the range 10-13 years older than me from my mid twenties, to be honest they were just more interesting to me, more life experience and more chill and happy with themselves, they had a confidence in themselves that I found really attractive.

Nothing to do with money, I've never wanted someone to 'look after me', I wanted someone independent who could look after themselves. My own age group wouldn't have their own house or their shit together, a lot are still coddled by their mums and expect a woman to fulfill that role in some way, they can be quite self absorbed and superficial, you couldn't really talk about interesting topics or talk too 'deeply' about things. Maybe I just didn't come across the right ones...

As I've got into my forties, most of my age group of guys seem to have caught up, so I think it does level off eventually, but it doesn't surprise me that women in their 20's want a guy older than them to be on the same level from a maturity point of view.

It seems you're struggling with the confidence that normally comes with age and experience, but don't let anyone convince you that 'attractiveness' is purely based on looks, it isn't at all, being happy and confident in yourself is a really attractive quality, but only you can pinpoint what it is that can make you feel that way.. you need to get your mojo back!