Why do some women like older men?

[Nightpain]

As a man in his 40s struggling with self-esteem at the moment, could anyone explain why some women seem to like older men? I cant understand the attraction.

Why might someone like a man in his 40s over a man in his 20s or 30s? I dont get it

I don't get it either so nope can't explain it xD

I suppose someone in their late 20s might want a man to be a bit more mature and career accomplished? So might look for someone a bit older. Stability in family life if they're looking fir a hubby perhaps.

At 34...I couldn't see myself dating someone past his early 40s. Infact my dating range is set 26-36 atm.

If you just date 35-45 then there's no need to concern yourself with why young women might date older men now is there?

If you have low self esteem, certainly don't go chasing after 20 somethings. Because contrary to what Hollywood may convert, most 20 somethings do not want to date 40 somethings. Sorry xD

*convey

I think you'd need to carefully consider the potential reasons, as there are several, aren't there?
There would be some women with daddy issues (avoid those!), some who are genuinely attracted to the older looking man, some who just see experience, some who think you might be wealthier than the younger man, some looking for security, some who might see you have a good track record (if you've been married). The list is quite long isn't it? What do you think?

If the woman is in her 40s herself she may believe she has more in common with a man her own age, similar life stage, shared points of reference.
If the woman is in her 30s and the man is attractive, decent and possibly solvent, she may see him as an option on account of the age gap not being that significant.
If the woman is in her 20s, to be honest, unless he's rich or powerful or there are issues in the woman's life that make it harder for her to date her peers, typically she wouldn't be interested.

I think for some women, they want to be taken care of and believe that a more mature man can offer them the security of a lifestyle that they want - in terms of money, but also a maturity in terms of wanting to settle down and raise children.

I think it's the maturity thing, particularly when compared against men in their 20s, sometimes 30s.

Also, for me, the vast majority of "sexy" characters we see in film and tv are in their late 30s at least, so this was definitely the sort of man I was programmed to find attractive!

That said, now I'm older, I do judge men for dating women that are significantly younger. And I haven't ended up going for a man that was significantly older than me.

It's individual taste, when I was in my 40's I wanted to be with someone a similar age as me. I also dated a man 13 years older than me when I was in my 20's . Why? Because I was attracted to him and his personality.

Not a clue. Unless it's for lifestyle, obvs.

I think (talking about young women in their 20s here) it’s generally about security- they think older men are more able to settle down and to support them. Also the age gap means they are more desirable than to a similar man in his 20s so they get to date “up”. I wouldn’t say younger women looking deliberately for older men want an equal relationship, but of course some people just get on and have a lot in common despite the age gap.

Im not looking for anyone new, at all, Im perfectly content with my partner, just trying to find any reason to feel good about myself. Im working out, Im dieting, Im looking at a new hairstyle. Anything to allow me to feel the slightest bit attractive. Im not trying to attract anyone, I just want to feel attractive. Im sure most women can identify with that.

But I cant see why anyone would be interested in me or what I have to offer now I am middle aged.

I barely had any interest when I was in my 20s/30s, so I am mystified as to what anyone could see in me now. And yet there are women who seem to go for men my age if preference to younger men.

I just want to understand why that is, what they are seeing. Because I dont understand it and I feel like sh*t

If you have a partner, and she is attracted to you, why does it matter more to you that some random, theoretical younger women might like you?????

I'm happily coupled and couldn't give a sh*t if anyone fancies me, other than my husband. I can get all the attraction / complements I need from him.

Why do you need other women to fancy you? Surely your OH fancying you is all you need to know?

Looks and confidence, accomplishments (travel work life experiences) stability maturity.
20 yr old men are not much different than silly teenagers, many 30 yr olds are still “finding themselves”. Near 40 might be a perfect age.
i can think of many reasons.

They will tend to like older men if they are successful in life and willing to offer commitment (children and financial stability) that younger men can't or won't offer.

If you are employed, own a home and are ready to settle down you are good to go.

If you're getting more female attention now than when you were in your twenties then it could be because you are more attractive as an older man than as a younger man, if that makes sense? There might also be something about your personality which attracts women?
It's funny to me to read that you're an 'older' man at your age because I view forty somethings as young but then I am older.
My DH definitely attracts more female attention now than when we were young. He has moved up the stakes in comparison to his peers, i.e. he's in much better condition than the majority of his peers. As a young man he didn't really stand out, physically at least.

because some women want to be taken care of and be with someone with more life experience.
obviously being older doesn’t guarantee that and being younger doesn’t mean you can’t take care of someone. But I married someone only 3 days older then me and I kind of wish that maybe I had a slightly older husband that makes me feel younger even though I’m getting older. 😆

I was dating a 40 year old when I was 19. We met on a college course, he was a mature student and we just got on.
I have no "daddy issues" and no "thing for older men", he was interesting, kind, intelligent, funny, etc.
I felt very comfortable with him and could be myself, his age was only a problem in the long term sense as I was very aware that it was never going to be a serious relationship. There was no way I wanted anything to do with 2 ex wives and step kids almost my own age!

Because compared with all the scrutiny and pressure from men their own age to look perfect it makes them feel young and attractive and powerful. It’s an ego boost and provides a lot of leverage in the relationship. Older guys are grateful and excited to be with someone younger. A lot of people enjoy that dynamic.

They might also like someone for the same reasons they’d like anyone – personality, chemistry, attraction.

I’ve always gone for older men and I think it’s because I was significantly the baby of the family. So I’m used to older people and older people’s music and cultural references.

also I love grey hair. And gratitude. 😁

Oh I have no idea.

?

i met my partner when i was 39 he was 51, i didn't know his age at first he made me laugh, he was into fitness and i had no idea of his age i really fancied him, i found out early on, it wasn't an issue for me, we had connected he actually had more energy than me our youngest teenagers were only one year apart, i felt secure with him, he like me was past the partying stage and we both enjoy intellectual chats and debates, best relationship i have ever had, i have had a very happy 9 years, hoping for many more!!! Age is just a number it is about the personality

Those who are ambitious and want to progress in a competitive career can greatly benefit from the counsel of someone with more experience.
For those with impostor syndrome or who feel that their own upbringing wasn't sufficiently sophisticated may be drawn to those who appear to know which wine to choose etc - Alan Bennett explains his embarrassment at his parents' sugar tongs remaining unused while the rest of us obviously use them daily.
Less competition within the relationship, an older man might be happy to focus attention on a younger partner.
Finally, financial opportunities from partners with equity in property. Two women that I worked with married men 15 years older, paid towards the mortgage on a grander house than they could have afforded and after a decade, traded them in for partners ten years younger than themselves.

Other than that, whether people are tall, short, fat or thin, there is a very attractive glow from anyone who appears comfortable in their own skin.

Older men are likely to be more emotionally mature, have more money and be more established in their career. All that can be very attractive.

Attraction is not just physical

In a completely shallow way, I just find older men more attractive physically. Grey hair, a handsome but nicely worn face, a well-preserved older body. An older man (think 50s/early 60s) who is still fit and virile can be irresistible. To me, anyway!

I'm in my late 30s now but my god, I feel very fortunate to have had this predilection (fetish?) for my whole life. It was like being a kid in a sweetshop in my 20s!

There's a difference between meeting someone who happens to be older and falling for them, and women who exclusively go for older men.
Women who seemingly only date much older, I would say are looking to be taken care of and moreso looking to be provided stability or a lifestyle.

But all of us could potentially meet and be attracted to older people (although I would not date significantly older personally - for example I am 38, and I would think 10 years older would be my limit).