Do people who are quite high on the narcissistic scale purposely wait for a specific partner?

[Ifyousayso1]

Just what the title says really!

@Livinghappy mines had a personality transplant for his new partner.

They don’t wait. They are however attracted to kind folks like bees to honey. There’s plenty of kind people about….

I think it’s just that we think in normal terms and expect others to also. We don’t view things disordered. It’s hard to comprehend someone is like this even after going through it so during it’s almost impossible.

@Ifyousayso1

Thats true.

I have personally never attracted a narcissist and I never will. My father was a narc so my narc radar is just too astute. I know exactly how disordered people behave even with their intial mask of charm. I can literally spot any bullshit or red flags a mile off and incredibly quickly.

I therefore have great friends, a great husband and also a great job (after having many, many shit jobs with awful narc bosses that I quickly cut off). That probably sounds smug but after years of being bullied as a young female I’ll never put myself in a situation where I could be vulnerable again. Life is short. Spend it with the good ones. If you’re unlucky enough/kind enough to end up with one of these god awful people, set yourself free.

It is easy to say once experiencing it. Mostly why they choose young women who don’t have the experience. Now I’m 40 I definitely won’t put up with that shit again. Having spent a decade with one I’m sure of what I do and don’t want in my life. My current partner of 3 years is just you get what you see, it’s not complicated or confusing. I’ve no interest in people with too many problems anymore. I have interest in fixing anyone. Once bitten!

This

I realise this is primarily a women's forum but one might get the idea from some of the posts that there is no such thing as a female narc. There definitely is. Ok, confession, I know this through being a bloke. And as for using a baby to "trap" someone, not unkown for a woman of a certain narc type to pull that one. And yep sometimes the woman pulling that is younger than the man.
Stands back and waits to be flamed.

This completely. I'm very distrustful of people that want to befriend / love me really quickly. For a long time I didn't have many friends. Things are better now.

There are narcs of all sexes but it’s called mumsnet so it mostly females talking.

I don’t know if they know what they are looking for but if they meet someone and what they doing works then they keep at it. All they want is supply at the end of the day so if you are the kind of person who is empathetic then that’s the supply they want. They also have a cunning way of becoming the Center of everything. They are very good at giving ( well mine was very generous) he just required something in return, it was always transaction and always had conditions, I was just unaware at the time.

It could be said people look to have a relationship with a narcissistic?

fair comment

@WandaWonder yeah I definitely looked for a person who left me with physical and mental scars. I enjoyed being invisible and terrified. What a stupid comment.