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Original poster

To keep dating him or not? Doesn't drive or earn very much

260 replies

CattyCattle · 04/07/2023 14:35

I've recently started dating a man who doesn't drive and takes home just under 2k a month. He lives in a house share, spends his money on socialising and fun.

On paper he's my cup of tea apart from the above. We bounce off each other really good!

But he also has death grip from wanking so much. Sex is good but goes on for a long time, too long!

He seems like a really nice guy and I'm worried I'm being a bit too choosy. I do like him but I don't have butterflies. I wonder if I'm finding things not to like that I wouldn't care about if I had those butterflies.

OP posts:
Aggielera · 04/07/2023 15:09

It really doesn’t sound like you’re a good match tbh.

But good luck getting one of your tradies to settle down and be faithful. If that’s what you want.

2k really isn’t a terrible salary. You do sound a bit princessy.

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 04/07/2023 15:10

So you earn £600-£700 a month and don’t drive but you don’t think he’s good enough?

Anklespraying · 04/07/2023 15:10

Oh God and I forgot, the hand job guy woke me up choking me! I was reminded when you said you couldn't get out the door fast enough.

Aggielera · 04/07/2023 15:10

£2000 pm take home is around £36k salary. That’s above average I believe.

WunWun · 04/07/2023 15:11

I'm not commenting on whether or not you should stay with this guy at all, but you absolutely sound materialistic and like you want someone rich.

Fucking hell.

Original poster
CattyCattle · 04/07/2023 15:11

I do drive. And have a house. He lives in a house share and doesn't drive.

Maybe I am being princessy! I really don't know if I'm finding things not to like!

OP posts:
icanflytoday · 04/07/2023 15:11

You aren't happy so stop the relationship.

You do sound very materialistic though.

My DH earns £0 as he's the stay at home dad!

pontipinemum · 04/07/2023 15:11

@Arewehumanorarewecupboards she earns 600/700 more a month.

It doesn't sound like you are into him so I'd move on.

I'd never heard the phrase death grip before, it's a new one on me! Sounds very annoying

Original poster
CattyCattle · 04/07/2023 15:11

@Anklespraying fucking hilarious 😂

OP posts:
TorroFerney · 04/07/2023 15:12

Neither, she earns between £ 600 and £700 more than he does, I assume depending on the month.

Original poster
CattyCattle · 04/07/2023 15:13

How is it materalistic to not want someone because they earn less than you and don't have the same type of assets? Am I really materalistic because I don't want to pay for someone and be the driver?

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 04/07/2023 15:13

Why do you need to ask? Actually his earnings are the least of your problems. It's really funny that he wants to have fun but spends all the time wanking.

Shapemyeyebrows · 04/07/2023 15:13

The income wouldn’t put me off, where I’m from around 2k a month is probably average. The fact he doesn’t drive would put me off if that’s by choice as I’ve been with someone in the past who didn’t drive and it did get annoying being the one to always drive places. But more so, the sex issue and the fact he didn’t give me butterflies would be the real no no.

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 04/07/2023 15:14

Apologies, I misunderstood where you said that you don’t want to be the driver.

Does your wage put him off considering that you are on a lot less than him?

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 04/07/2023 15:15

Oh fuck. I need glasses! Sorry.

Bloomingbloms · 04/07/2023 15:15

If you’re planning on having kids with this guy then be mindful that 2000 pm isn’t really enough for you to afford to be a SAHM or even pt really.

That seems to be really important on Mumsnet 😂

sodthesodoff · 04/07/2023 15:16

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 04/07/2023 15:10

So you earn £600-£700 a month and don’t drive but you don’t think he’s good enough?

She earns 600-700 more

Aquamarine1029 · 04/07/2023 15:16

It's alarming that you are in your 30's and still so wishy washy. It's not working for you, strangers on the internet can see this, and the reasons why are irrelevant.

Op, you basically ran out of his bed this morning. End it already.

WunWun · 04/07/2023 15:16

I would also point out that you're in here whinging about someone earning a pittance of just under £2k a month and who doesn't drive to an open audience - loads of people reading this don't earn that much and don't drive, are they all worthless too?

Why don't you have the emotional intelligence to see that you're potentially offending people?

sodthesodoff · 04/07/2023 15:19

Ignore the money. I see it as the side issue that he just hasn't grown up and is happy with the student life - house share and partying.

He's showing no signs of adulting. Which I suspect is the bigger issue rather than money

But honest to god. You wake up and are desperate to leave? What more signs do you need?

And any friend who says yeah stick it out should be dumped too. Who the hell wants you to be miserable? They're no friend

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 04/07/2023 15:21

If there were butterflies you could manage the other shoos. I'd be walking away from this one.

Shopper727 · 04/07/2023 15:21

I think it’s sad you think he’s not enough because of his earnings, I think he’d be better off with someone else. My boyfriend isn’t a high earner, however he is the most amazing person will do anything for anyone and is kind and loyal to name a few. I earn more and together we do fine. If you want high earning move on. He could do better given the way you talk about him. Money isn’t everything.

ChaToilLeam · 04/07/2023 15:22

You clearly don’t want to be with him, so throw him back. 🙄

WildFlowerBees · 04/07/2023 15:26

I don't think op is being materialistic, being in her 30's I'd think she'd be looking for someone who showed some responsibility and had a bit more of a plan than a house share and pissing his wages up the wall.

It would put me off, besides that op if you can't wait to get away from him I'd say no thanks and move on.

ASGIRC · 04/07/2023 15:27

Sandra1984 · 04/07/2023 14:52

Did you say you earn 6700 pm or between 600 and 700 pm?

Show quote history

More like 2600 a month. She earns 600 or 700 more than his just under 2k