It most definitely is PORN (especially easy access to it off the internet for the last 20 years or so,) that is the driving force with men wanting anal sex a lot more - (more than they want PIV sex sometimes!) And many men EXPECT it now, and expect to just shove their penis up a woman's arse, with no preparation or anything, because this is what they see in porn films!
Very interesting article here, that is very telling!
Real Anal Sex is Very Different Than How It’s Shown in Porn (fightthenewdrug.org)
I know a number of single, divorced, and widowed women in their 30s, 40's, and 50s, who've tried dating (mostly online dating.) Every single one of them (well over a dozen,) have said almost every man they've met, wants to try anal sex in the first 2-4 times of having sex with them.
I was born in the late 1960s and dated about eight men before meeting my husband in my early to mid 20s .. (I also had about half a dozen one night stands in between these men I dated.) Not one single one of these men even suggested anal sex or even mentioned it, and definitely didn't try to do it. Basically, it was not even a thing. Not on anyone's radar. (This was mid to late 1980s.) My DH never mentioned it or tried it either. .. EVER. Had a conversation with MIL once and she said when SHE was a young woman (late 1950s) it was unheard of. No man ever tried it then either, and she was in her 40s before she had even heard of of it (it late 1970s by then.)
I don't give a shit if anal sex has been a thing since prehistoric times, there's no way it was expected so much from men, til the past 20 years or so... Most men try it on and expect it these days. It's only been an expectation from women this century really. And don't even suggest for a SECOND that it's not porn driving it, because it is.
Many young women are made to feel foolish, boring, unadventurous, dull, vanilla, and childish if they don't let a man shove his penis up her arse! MEN make women feel this way which is disgusting, but it's fucking abhorrent that WOMEN make other women feel like this. And like they are somehow better than the others, because THEY love a penis being shoved up their arse!
The OP's husband is an absolute disgrace trying to suggest anal sex with her when she's had a 4th degree tear that's done lots of damage down there ... And as many people have said (including a qualified midwife,) anal sex will cause her irreparable damage if he tries to stick his penis into her anal passage, because it's so close to other damage. Anybody who thinks what the OP's husband is suggesting is OK needs to give their fucking head a wobble, and is breathtakingly obtuse.
I'm so glad that I was a young woman in the late 1980s, and not now. Almost every man women meet (to date,) wants to stick his penis up her arse, and possibly do irreparable damage !!! As the article says that I've put a link to - it takes a lot of preparation to do it. You can't just shove it in - which I suspect is what the OP's husband wants to do (and what many many men want to do because that's what they see in PORN!) The article also illustrates how many younger women are bullied and coerced into it.
And yes it IS porn that drives it - don't even pretend it isn't .. You're embarrassing yourself.
And as for the small number of people accusing those saying it's not natural of being homophobic. What a load of rubbish. And what a stupid and ridiculous thing to say. 