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Original poster

Just found condoms in husband's bag

198 replies

girlfromtheloch · 27/06/2023 20:54

This isn't the first time. Expiry date is 2024 so they must have been purchased in the last 5 years from what I understand. We've been together for 11 years. We're married with two children.
The relationship is over for me now. Is there anything I need to do before I confront him on this? He is likely to be at his computer working until late tonight so I have time to work this out in my head a bit. I feel numb at the moment.

OP posts:
truthhurts23 · 28/06/2023 01:21

Henrietta70 · 28/06/2023 00:41

Oh, it’s taking me back to nearly 6 years ago when I found out my husband was unfaithful with a “friend” and a colleague.

We met at University, and I was devastated.
25 years together imploded, my daughters aged 9 and 11 were distraught, and he still blamed me. He was angry to be caught out, slashed my neighbours tyres, and punched me on my doorstep, giving me a black eye.

It took 4 years for me to get an apology and we now have family meals with our daughters, and feed each others cats!!

From my experience I’d say, collect yourself, get things in order, get the documents you need, and then go for a walk and tell him you know what has been happening and it is over between you.

You must settle on agreeing to parent your children as amicably as possible, not fight. I am from divorced parents, so I know how it feels as a child to be caught in the middle.

I know you are hurt and angry. He gaslit you last time. Don’t play into the angry emotional role. That’s what he wants, you to seem irrational and nuts.

My ex kept saying you aren’t being reasonable, over and over. I stole all the friends!

You will get through this. You will be happy.
I am now. Happily single raising my children, having the odd relationship. Doing well at work.

It won’t be an easy first year, but you will be fine, and realise who your real friends are.
X

are you genuinely his friend now or are you just doing it for your girls ?

Primrosefrill · 28/06/2023 02:20

Henrietta70 · 28/06/2023 00:41

Oh, it’s taking me back to nearly 6 years ago when I found out my husband was unfaithful with a “friend” and a colleague.

We met at University, and I was devastated.
25 years together imploded, my daughters aged 9 and 11 were distraught, and he still blamed me. He was angry to be caught out, slashed my neighbours tyres, and punched me on my doorstep, giving me a black eye.

It took 4 years for me to get an apology and we now have family meals with our daughters, and feed each others cats!!

From my experience I’d say, collect yourself, get things in order, get the documents you need, and then go for a walk and tell him you know what has been happening and it is over between you.

You must settle on agreeing to parent your children as amicably as possible, not fight. I am from divorced parents, so I know how it feels as a child to be caught in the middle.

I know you are hurt and angry. He gaslit you last time. Don’t play into the angry emotional role. That’s what he wants, you to seem irrational and nuts.

My ex kept saying you aren’t being reasonable, over and over. I stole all the friends!

You will get through this. You will be happy.
I am now. Happily single raising my children, having the odd relationship. Doing well at work.

It won’t be an easy first year, but you will be fine, and realise who your real friends are.
X

He punched you in the face and you're mates with him?

Harry999 · 28/06/2023 02:29

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Harry999 · 28/06/2023 02:55

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QueenBitch666 · 28/06/2023 03:21

CherryCokeFanatic · 27/06/2023 21:45

Could he be engaging in a posh wank at the gym or in the car or something?

Are you serious?!

BeverForget · 28/06/2023 04:25

Always with the 'posh wank'...
Like any man has ever done that.

Phoebo · 28/06/2023 05:06

BeverForget · 28/06/2023 04:25

Always with the 'posh wank'...
Like any man has ever done that.

This. Its difficult to get most men to even wear one, like they'd wear one for fun 🤣

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/06/2023 05:20

@truthhurts23 I was at an educational event and a GIANT condom (man in a condom suit) was giving them out as a drive for safe sex. Everyone took them including me. I took a picture of myself with said enormous prophylactic for evidentiary purposes. DH thought it was hilarious. It was the first thing I told him when I got back so he wouldn't worry.

In this case OP's H is clearly not someone who comes home and tells the truth.

Cunt1 · 28/06/2023 05:52

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Cunt1 · 28/06/2023 05:53

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SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 28/06/2023 05:56

Really, @Cunt1 ?

Cunt1 · 28/06/2023 05:57

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SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 28/06/2023 05:58

I suppose if you live under a bridge, you might wake up early, and start posting random gifs and pa's to the OP... Reported anyhoo.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/06/2023 06:00

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 28/06/2023 05:58

I suppose if you live under a bridge, you might wake up early, and start posting random gifs and pa's to the OP... Reported anyhoo.

There are no curtains under bridges and it's very light so yes.

Cunt1 · 28/06/2023 06:00

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Clymene · 28/06/2023 06:02

If you're in the U.K. you can look the business up on companies house and find out how much it's making and how much he's paying himself. His accountant will also be listed.

YukoandHiro · 28/06/2023 06:04

If you're married it doesn't matter if the house isn't in your name - you still have joint rights to it.
Go and see a solicitor and get your ducks in a row.
I'm sorry he's doing this to you - you will feel much better when you have a plan xx

Cunt1 · 28/06/2023 06:06

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Cunt1 · 28/06/2023 06:09

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Cunt1 · 28/06/2023 06:13

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iamnottoofatiamjusttooshort · 28/06/2023 06:21

Wow

Cunt1 · 28/06/2023 06:22

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YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 28/06/2023 06:25

It’s early. Little Trolly Troll hasn’t been given his breakfast and is hangry, but best not to feed the poor lamb - he’s clearly got allergies.

ememem84 · 28/06/2023 06:35

Clymene · 28/06/2023 06:02

If you're in the U.K. you can look the business up on companies house and find out how much it's making and how much he's paying himself. His accountant will also be listed.

Second this. You should be able to see x amount of years worth of accounts too.

if you can’t find the business on there search for his name. (Sounds daft to say it but a friend of mine knew her partners businesses trading name. Not the actual limited company name)