Partner talks about how amazing they are all the time

[chipswitheveryting]

So my partner spends a lot of time talking about themselves in a very positive light. They talk about how intelligent they are, how capable they are, how they are an out of the box thinker etc etc.

I have heard the same stories over and over again about amazing things they have done (not that amazing and some needs a big dash of salt). Anyhow, we've been together 2 and a bit years now and as much as I've adored him and hung on his every word (he is kind hearted and I do find him attractive) I'm so thoroughly bored of his boasting, I've starting getting snappy when he tells me for the millionth time how he's pushed boundaries further than anyone he knows etc.

Recently, I reached out and managed to arrange a meeting with a top person from my industry. This is a massive coo, I'm so proud of myself, this person liked the ideas I'd messaged to them and was willing to meet over coffee to discuss and explore them further. I messaged a friend in the same industry and she was blown away and couldn't believe it.

I told my partner I needed a couple of hours to read over reports etc to make sure I was knowledgeable and on my game for the meeting , Which is later this week.

Thanks, I'm hardly ever off with him, he's been quiet since I sent that. It's obviously got him thinking.

Well done OP - glad to hear your meeting went well! And good luck with "the chat".

He sounds utterly boring, bad mannered and draining. Well done on the business development OP.

Massive congrats on your meeting OP, you should be really proud of yourself!

And please sack off this man, you deserve someone who is proud of you too and not a self centred arsehole incapable of not putting you down when he thinks you're getting a bit too big for your boots aka when he thinks you have something he doesn't!

You cannot have a healthy, happy relationship with someone wired like him. It's not possible.

So agree.

Huge congratulations.

Every success going foward.

This may sound shallow but you really don't want every social occasion you attend, knowing that people are looking at you wondering "wtf is she doing with that dim twat".

Because the way he twitters on about himself indicates he really is of a sub intelligence, and this is EXACTLY what people think as they back away.

Cut him loose, end the association which I guarantee does not reflect well on you.

Congratulations again.

Congratulations on your meeting, I hope great things come of it and you get to enjoy them all

As for the man, it's interesting that your response is to ask him whether he realises what he is doing. My question would be why would that matter? Are you hoping that if only he realised, he would stop ?

That would obviously be easier to live with than realising that he prioritises himself above all others and that he just wants an audience.

The real problem is the selfishness rather than the impact on those around him. Isn't it most likely he knows but doesn't care so long as he has an audience?

Choose someone who enhances your life. Let this one go back to the wild

Maybe the poster wanted to make sure the op didn't write that in a professional context (?)

I guess I want some personal growth for him, we all have faults, and if his fault is this selfishly and endlessly bragging, I want to know if he is fully aware he is doing it, or if he slips into that mind set when he's worried etc. and by highlighting it and talking about it and making him consider how others feel, he might actually have a dawning realisation that it's not that pleasant for the onlookers. So essentially for personal growth.

I actually couldn't help myself and messaged him this morning saying I needed a couple of weeks to think and needed alone time. I said it was because he bigs himself up endlessly and yet when I had this good thing happen, he minimised it. He has now sent a barrage of texts, in short, he was just trying to keep a positive mindset, and we're over.

Kinda hoped to do it face to face and gently, slowly etc but I just had an urge to text him.

Oh well

You're very kind, OP, but tbf the relationship would surely have never survived your new venture anyway. No way could he have coped with your success!

and we're over.

Dodged a bullet there @chipswitheveryting

Count yourself lucky.

OP, he’s not ‘annoying’, he’s a narcissist. It will never get better. No idea whether you are planning to have a family with him, but just imagine labour ‘oh, that’s not pain, let me tell you about my ingrown toenail’…Etc etc. Get out now.

Excellent update.

He would never have coped with your success.

He is a freak.

Did he end it or you?

Him, I think he felt 'seen' so threw lots of insults my way about how I'm Neurotic and how he can do without this shit etc

I honestly think this is a good outcome for you. He's very helpfully shown you that you were right to have concerns about his behaviour. There was no chance of him taking on board any constructive comments. He's either so arrogant he won't entertain any suggestion he might have a flaw, or so insecure that any suggestion he is might not be perfect throws him in to a defensive panic.

You would have wasted a lot of time trying to help him be a decent person. Better to spend that time on focussing on you, and enjoying life.

This is a very good point.

And he would have continued to take up your valuable energy when you could be spending it on the new venture.

Honestly if my DP was like this I'd get sick of it and bin him off! In a relationship you should be supportive of each other and that works both ways. So perhaps consider if he is right long term for you - firstly due to his boring boasting and secondly due to his lack of support. Well done on your meeting by the way!

Don’t cling on to a mistake just because you spend a long time making it.

Good riddance- his reply, to petulantly throw insults at you- should tell you everything and secure that door firmly closed for you.

You need a rough transcript of his behaviour and his claims. Then present it back to him. He must be low on emotional intelligence to harp on like this.

Unlike me. My emotional intelligence is far higher than average and your meeting would also be a walk in the park (for someone like me)

I’m joking. He sounds like a complete dick.

Block him on every platform...he will be back in touch. Dont let him creep back in. He ended things after one comment during a 2 year relationship. If he can end things that easily hes not the one for you. Focus on your new venture and good luck with it x

You are so right OP. Yes the self-bigging could be taken as annoying and a bit socially inept but when he poured cold water onto your success it all became dark and clear. You've done really well to see it and call time on the relationship.

Fwiw you don't sound neurotic at all...even when you are discussing something that is stressful for you, as you are here.

He is full of it.

Unsurprisingly the big man, with the big job is full of shit with the thinest of skins.🙄

He can dismiss you and your success, but my goodness do not throw even the slightest of shade on the great man.🙄

He's a phenomenal twat.

His reaction was to insult you, so wafer thin is his skin.

He will calm down and I absolutely think he could well be back.

His insecurity is palpable.

Be so glad you are free.

I think blocking him would be wise.

Don't be sucked back in.

You're seeing his true colours now OP, I think you called it right when you said narcissist. You say he could be very nice - but that's not at all unusual with narcissists, they can be very charming and have a very strong desire to look good. It's all surface deep though as you've found out now, what with him being completely unsupportive and then ending it and calling you names to gas light you into feeling like you're the problem.

I think you've had a very lucky escape, I spent 25 years being fooled by one. Don't waste any more of your life on this one.

Give it three weeks max.

He’ll be back. Just say no.

Wow how fragile is his ego? To finish with you for raising this just shows how insecure he is. It’s always good when the rubbish takes itself out.