Partner talks about how amazing they are all the time

[chipswitheveryting]

So my partner spends a lot of time talking about themselves in a very positive light. They talk about how intelligent they are, how capable they are, how they are an out of the box thinker etc etc.

I have heard the same stories over and over again about amazing things they have done (not that amazing and some needs a big dash of salt). Anyhow, we've been together 2 and a bit years now and as much as I've adored him and hung on his every word (he is kind hearted and I do find him attractive) I'm so thoroughly bored of his boasting, I've starting getting snappy when he tells me for the millionth time how he's pushed boundaries further than anyone he knows etc.

Recently, I reached out and managed to arrange a meeting with a top person from my industry. This is a massive coo, I'm so proud of myself, this person liked the ideas I'd messaged to them and was willing to meet over coffee to discuss and explore them further. I messaged a friend in the same industry and she was blown away and couldn't believe it.

I told my partner I needed a couple of hours to read over reports etc to make sure I was knowledgeable and on my game for the meeting , Which is later this week.

I like your style OP. It's good to give yourself some space and think things through properly.
Good luck with your meeting.

If you're worried about ending up in another unhealthy relationship, have you looked at The Freedom Program?

Oh god what a bore. My DM was like this. It's the script of a narcissist.

Do you want to listen to him going on and undermining your achievements for the rest of your life?

Mine made my unassisted birth about what a hero he was to have caught the baby 😂
i barely got a mention!

OP he is a dick.

Other dickish behaviour is correcting spellings and adding nothing extra to a thread.

Don't be a dick.

Nothing more dull than a braggart. Imagine more of the same for years and years. It'll drive you insane.

OP sounds fab. I would also be low level mortified at him doing it in front of other people.

Congratulations on getting your meeting arranged - sounds like an awesome achievement that many good things may come out of! Hope it goes really well for you.

It's good that you don't live together - it will be easier to extract yourself. I wouldn't want my kids exposed to this on a permanent basis.
Once the ick has set in, that's it. And the ick exists for a very good reason - to warn you that this isn't a good idea.

This boring loser is not someone to move in with.

He would drive you mad and to be honest you would be come even more aware of pity looks from friends as to why you do this with such an absolute moron.

Do not expose your children any more to him.

He is dishonest, a liar, and a bullshitter.

He is not mentally well and why would you want to be lumbered with what might manifest itself in the future.

You really need to do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

His lying and dishonesty are huge red flags.

Don't have him near your children.

This is the type that would damage YOUR mental health long term, with the pure frustration of listening to him drone on endlessly feeling there is no escaping him in the house.

His ex was delighted to be rid of him, of that you can be sure.

He's a complete moron.

Why are you with this guy? I couldn't stand being with someone like that, whatever their other "good points" were.

Is that you Melania?

I read this chuckling til I got to this bit

"And takes my glory sometimes"

In a partnership, I'd want someone who has my back, who lifts me up when needed, who shares my joys and sadnesses. How about you?

Lots of posters have said this comes from a place of insecurity but there are plenty of people who genuinely do think they are wonderful and amazing and better than anyone else.

I have two exes who believe they are ‘geniuses.’ They are academically intelligent but funnily enough neither of them have a job and haven’t for years.

OP have you actually asked why he brags so much and only talks about his own achievements. Have you explained how he made you feel when he minimised your achievement? Would be interesting to get his take on it. Sounds insufferable and I would definitely not stay with him.

If you think this is just a man thing, I'd seriously question your powers of observation.
OP - he sounds a complete pain to me. And profoundly insecure.
If he ever feels that his self-image is being attacked I imagine he could get quite vicious (I don't mean necessarily physically) - or just collapse/implode.

My tolerance for this type of personality/behaviour is non-existent. Fundamentally, he thinks he's better than you. How draining this must be and embarrassing socially.

'see it wasn't that hard, you managed a whole sentence where you didn't brag about your own achievements, well done'

Bloody brilliant @chipswitheveryting!

I pity you that you excuse your DHs egotism by giving the excuse that all men are like this. I can assure you they are not.

I think it is very wrong to slap all men eith this tag.

The two cases I have come across in 40 years of adulthood were unusual IMO.

Certainly not the case with the husbands of all my friends that are well able to hold a conversation without boring the arse off me.

@PeacefulPottering

You are not. My partner of 25 years still will bring any achievements I have made back to somehow him. I leave him chatting to himself . It's Men . They love it being about them.

This is not 'men', it's self centred arseholes.

I feel sad you think that men are all like this, it's not normal or acceptable for a partner to make all your achievements about him. He should be proud of you without needing to bring it back to himself!

Quick update for anyone interested, I had the meeting this afternoon with the top industry person. We talked for 1 hour 50 minutes, just us in a coffee shop. They were interested in what I'm trying to create, (niche within our industry but something they are also passionate about, hence why I reached out to them). They are introducing me to a company which they sit on the board of and are potentially looking to create a company within their structure which brings my idea into reality. But that did include some heavy conversations about all the pitfalls and potential failures and the need to exhaust all avenues before real money is spent. They said 'speak to this person about that aspect and speak to this person about that etc so to me, I think they like my idea and would support it as long as it's throughly tested. Which feels like a win to me. I will proceed with caution but They do have integrity, hence being so respected in the industry so I trust them. I feel like it could be the start of something exciting.

Nothing further with partner, just texts to say morning and goodnight, will wait until we're face to face at the weekend before we have a full and frank discussion.

I intend to say, 'I feel completely exhausted by your constant bragging all the time, do you realise how it sounds to people listening to it?

And see how he responds. The ick has set in for me, I feel like I've had a gestalt shift since he minimised my success after droning on so much about his own. Before that, I always thought he supported everyone and was just a positive person who lacked self awareness. Over time, i can see he supports himself more and more (and more and more and more and more) and others including myself less. I think after 2 years, the mask is slipping.

No I haven't, I'll have that conversation this weekend. Before, I think I must have been in denial, as his bragging seemed harmless, like everyone has faults, and that's his. Now I'm exhausted with it and can't bear it. I can't ignore it anymore.

Many congratulations, OP. Fly high 😀