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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Found a mobile in DH's desk draw

510 replies

worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 14:25

I was tidying up DH's home office when I found a mysterious mobile in the draw, I feel devastated. I managed to turn it on but it's got a passcode.

After all the times I've read about this on mumsnet I never thought it would happen to me but when I think about it he has been distant lately, seems distracted and he has been working late popping off to meeting later in the day etc.

DH doesnt know I've found it and he is out at the moment, does anyone have any words of advice or how to go about bringing it up?

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 05/06/2023 15:12

Why would he get a burner phone these days? Seems very old skool. A million ways to have an affair without using a whole extra phone. Is he technologically incompetent?

Maddy70 · 05/06/2023 15:13

worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 15:04

thank you all maybe I'll move it and see if he notices it what do i say if he says something?

Just don't!!! That's ridiculous.

He hasn't exactly hidden it , you are making huge leaps could be a colleagues that he picked up by mistake or any other reasonable explanation.

Just ask him when he comes home.

Mylifeislikeaboatrace · 05/06/2023 15:13

Naturally on high alert I don't trust anyone 100% so I would get my papers etc in order and accessible then ask him about it and judge the reaction.
If it's above board fair enough but if there is a hint of something dodgy you are more prepared.

Eckyftang · 05/06/2023 15:14

StemStem · 05/06/2023 15:01

If he disrespects you enough to expect you clean up his home office he isn’t going to respect you enough to stay faithful.

Where does it say the OP's DH expects her to clean his office? She could have been snooping in the guise of tidying up. I've never heard of office cleaners who tidy up the insides of desks. Just saying

Niceseasidetown · 05/06/2023 15:14

He could be using the phone to look at porn...not a nice thought I know but presumably less devastating than an affair

Or gambling??

Agree it doesn't look good but all it really shows is a wish to have a means of communication that is private...there could be a range of reasons for this

Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 15:14

just as i was feeling better a message comes through

"see you tomorrow at 5.30"

:(

OP posts:
OhmygodDont · 05/06/2023 15:14

Put it back and see if it moves. Make a note of the phone number since you put it in your phone. I certainly wouldn’t go messaging it from your phone that would be one huge way to give up the gig if it is dodgy.

Do you have a child who he may buy a phone for? Any signed of phone packaging anywhere.

Id use someone else phone to add the number and message/ WhatsApp it so it doesn’t instantly link back to you.

OhmygodDont · 05/06/2023 15:15

Are you aware his meant to be out tomorrow 5:30pm? Take a note of the number that’s messaged the phone. Pop it into google.

coxesorangepippin · 05/06/2023 15:16

Re. WhatsApp

Do you have an apple phone or android???

If android, go to Google play store and download WhatsApp.

Apple info will have to come from someone else as I only have an android phone

JauntyJinty · 05/06/2023 15:16

StemStem · 05/06/2023 15:07

She’s cleaning his office and he has a burner phone. It’s not the leap you are claiming is it?

Show quote history

The assumption that he expects her to clean, rather than it being just OP doing something nice or a mutual agreement they have is leap 1

The idea that it's a burner phone for nefarious reasons is leap 2

Keep it up and you'll be a champion triple jumper before you know it!

OhmygodDont · 05/06/2023 15:16

Apple it would be the App Store but as said if she uses her phone it will flag up it’s her to him straight away as a new added contact.

Houghmot · 05/06/2023 15:17

How did you see the message if the phone is locked? Did you manage to unlock it?

People are saying it’s a leap, but it’s not, a second phone you know nothing about that isn’t old doesn’t point to a genuine reason.

Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 15:17

we all have iphones

OP posts:
purpleboy · 05/06/2023 15:18

Can you put the number that just messaged into your WhatsApp and see if a picture comes up?
Or can you see any previous messages between DH and that number?

Sorry op, it doesn't sound good.

Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 15:18

i put the sim card is in my phone

OP posts:
Takemyselfdancing · 05/06/2023 15:19

What is he normally doing at 5.30pm on a weekday?

coxesorangepippin · 05/06/2023 15:19

Purple, our op doesn't have WhatsApp

FrankieRose82 · 05/06/2023 15:20

Put the number that just messaged the phone into your contacts in your phone and save it. Go into your WhatsApp and see if they have a picture

LoonyLois · 05/06/2023 15:20

Very strange. Could you ring the number?

JoanThursday1972 · 05/06/2023 15:20

I'd be following him at 5.30 pm

Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 15:20

i didnt know he was suppose to be out tomorrow he normally texts me when he is due back on the day depending how the day has been

OP posts:
OhmygodDont · 05/06/2023 15:20

Do you have a trusted friend you could give the number to, to add on WhatsApp? Also pop it in Facebook search.

Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 15:21

if i put the number into whatsapp will it identify me?

OP posts:
Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 05/06/2023 15:22

Does it definitely mean tomorrow though? If you've only just turned the phone on / put the sim card in your phone, it could be an old unread message coming through from ages ago?

Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 15:22

i dont have facebook so i cant check

OP posts:
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