Found a mobile in DH's desk draw

[worried2jsb]

I was tidying up DH's home office when I found a mysterious mobile in the draw, I feel devastated. I managed to turn it on but it's got a passcode.

After all the times I've read about this on mumsnet I never thought it would happen to me but when I think about it he has been distant lately, seems distracted and he has been working late popping off to meeting later in the day etc.

DH doesnt know I've found it and he is out at the moment, does anyone have any words of advice or how to go about bringing it up?

Call yourself on it to get the number. Add him on your WhatsApp and send a message, accept it and reply back to see if he has the online and last seen on it, if he doesn’t turn it on. Then delete the WhatsApp message, delete the call you made to yourself and all other evidence. Turn it back off and put it back and check when he is online to see if he uses it. After a while if nothing happens it could be because he has turned the last seen off so then take the phone and see if he asks for it.

My husbands is dual sim, and he hides it, and has numerous locks on it.
I’ve no hope of catching him out

If he disrespects you enough to expect you clean up his home office he isn’t going to respect you enough to stay faithful.

Goodness - I feel dizzy just reading that! Though I don't think OPcan unlock the phone

Not charged, not hidden, not with him? Doesn’t sound like an affair phone to me.

If your mind is spinning and you are not thinking straight then do nothing. Don’t accuse him or even raise it with him .

Take some photos of the phone and the number etc. Then put it back and say nothing.

Don’t do all this “ Oh I’m just an open book ,I can’t help myself “ nonsense . You need to get a grip and now throw an unexploded grenade into your marriage because you can’t control yourself.

If he is totally innocent he might be devastated by your accusations. It will cause no end of trouble,

And if he’s is guilty he will lie through his teeth and learn to hide the evidence better.

Confronting him now ( with no clear evidence and while you are in a state ) is a lose :lose for you.

Hide it and wait for him to panic

OP don't panic, there may well be a perfectly reasonable explanation but the only way you will find out is to ask. Ask him to unlock it and show you any messages that are on it and explain that finding it has made you feel worried. He will surely show you what is on it if he has nothing to hide.

thank you all maybe I'll move it and see if he notices it what do i say if he says something?

Bloody hell that's a leap!

If he's bought the phone, chances are it's on a contract meaning it's billed to him. Or if it's an outright purchase, there will be evidence on bank/credit card statements.

I personally wouldn't play mind games and hide it as it would cause me anxiety. Just be upfront with him and ask him to unlock it.

Why don't you just ask him OP?

For how long? And what will you if he doesn't?

Honestly just talk to him or you'll drive yourself mad.

She’s cleaning his office and he has a burner phone. It’s not the leap you are claiming is it?

I think you need to take a step back and a deep breath OP

You are currently massively over reacting to nothing. What is his pass code for his current phone, have you tried that?

For WhatsApp, you know you will have to temporarily remove your account from your phone and connect with this sims number, do you know the number? You'll then get an authorisation code in a message.

How come the sim works in you EE phone too?

OP unless you have other reasons to suspect he's having an affair, doing so on the basis of finding a mysterious phone is a rather big leap to make. There could be loads of other explanations - he found it on the street / it's an upgrade he's not using / it belongs to a friend or colleague / got it for his mum or dad etc etc. The fact that it was flat suggests it is not in active use.

How about you just ask him casually.... "Hey honey, I was putting away your socks and found this phone. Who does it belong to / where did it come from?"

He might well come out with a perfectly reasonable answer. But if he squirms, you may be onto something.

She wasn't cleaning his office @StemStem, she was just putting things away.

i guess the sim works because we all have bought phones not on contract

This is genius !

im too dumb to work out the watsapp thing :(

🤣🤣🤣

I love that you believe there is a difference!

Have you got the number?

If so, just try adding it as a Whatsapp contact on your own phone and see if it's got a picture.

Hunh? You claimed that because he expects her to clean his office he disrespects her ergo he must be fucking around.
That is a hell of a leap.

I’ve got a phone in my drawer too, from donkeys ago that I had totally forgotten about. :)