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Original poster

Found a mobile in DH's desk draw

510 replies

worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 14:25

I was tidying up DH's home office when I found a mysterious mobile in the draw, I feel devastated. I managed to turn it on but it's got a passcode.

After all the times I've read about this on mumsnet I never thought it would happen to me but when I think about it he has been distant lately, seems distracted and he has been working late popping off to meeting later in the day etc.

DH doesnt know I've found it and he is out at the moment, does anyone have any words of advice or how to go about bringing it up?

OP posts:
Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 14:40

not all over* sorry very emotional

OP posts:
justsaxy · 05/06/2023 14:41

There must be some backstory here OP.
You don't find another phone and then immediately just to this.

You say he has been distant, can you offer some context?

GoodChat · 05/06/2023 14:41

worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 14:40

not all over* sorry very emotional

How long until he's home? Try not to worry just yet.

Covetthee · 05/06/2023 14:41

Could you put the sim card in your phone and see who the contacts are?

you wont need passcode for that.

bibbityboppityboo · 05/06/2023 14:42

worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 14:38

@bibbityboppityboo it has an asda sim card which is strange as we dont shop at asda or have an asda anywhere near us

we are both using ee

Can you put the sim in your phone to get the contacts on it?

GoodChat · 05/06/2023 14:43

Covetthee · 05/06/2023 14:41

Could you put the sim card in your phone and see who the contacts are?

you wont need passcode for that.

Ohh sneaky beaky - that's a good idea. It might also have stored any texts.

Catbumps · 05/06/2023 14:43

I have a work phone I’ve never used stuffed in the cupboard. I have several.

Beluowens · 05/06/2023 14:43

Covetthee · 05/06/2023 14:41

Could you put the sim card in your phone and see who the contacts are?

you wont need passcode for that.

This.
Fingers crossed for you OP that it's nothing to worry about x

Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 14:44

He will be back somewhere between 4pm and 530pm.

I put the sim card in my phone but messages or contacts on it.

OP posts:
Denise82 · 05/06/2023 14:45

How long did you have to charge it for, i mean was it totally dead? If it was i wouldnt worry it will just be an old phone. He would likely keep an affair phone with some charge and just switch off in the day.

overitunderit · 05/06/2023 14:46

I'm sorry OP but it's a crazy jump to assume he's having an affair. We've got loads of old phones lying around in our house and neither of us is having an affair.

Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 14:46

its an iphone and looks new

OP posts:
Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 14:47

it took a few mins to turn on

OP posts:
GoodChat · 05/06/2023 14:48

Maybe he got a good deal with Asda mobile that meant it was worth him getting a new contract?

DeflatedAgain · 05/06/2023 14:49

Did you try his normal passcode? When I get a new phone I always keep the same passcode. If it's the usual passcode it must be an old phone of his

Maddy70 · 05/06/2023 14:49

If it isn't charged. He's not using it is he. Why do you think he is cheating ?

DeflatedAgain · 05/06/2023 14:51

Are you able to see the number for the phone from the SIM when you insert it in your phone? If you can I would add the number to your contacts and check WhatsApp to see when that number was last active. Worth a shot

mumtoboys12 · 05/06/2023 14:51

Just ask him?

Thisweeksname · 05/06/2023 14:51

If no other reason to suspect an affair then I would be more inclined to think it’s an old phone, work phone etc. Just ask him really casually and see what his reaction is. The look on his face will tell you

DiaNaranja · 05/06/2023 14:51

OP, breathe. I don't think you need to instantly jump to worst case scenario. Like others have said, could it be a work phone that he bought, but decided he didn't want to use? Too much faff having a seperate one etc. Could he have just found it somewhere and didn't know what to do with it? I highly doubt if he was going to go to the effort to have an affair and get a seperate phone for those communications, he'd just leave it in his office drawer, knowing full well you could very easily and innocently stumble across it.

newaccountoldlurker · 05/06/2023 14:53

Put it in another phone, call yourself to get the number. Download whatsapp and log in with that number the code will be text to that sim, and all the conversations will be there

Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 14:55

maybe i'm not thinking straight my mind is spinning

OP posts:
Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 14:55

sometimes hiding in plain sight is the best?

OP posts:
Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 14:55

i will try the watsapp

OP posts:
mindutopia · 05/06/2023 14:56

An iphone is a pretty expensive phone to buy as an affair burner phone. Surely, most people - unless he's rolling in it - would get a cheap one.

As you sure it's not just a spare or even a new upgrade that he hasn't managed to upgrade yet? If you went through my drawer in my desk, you'd probably find about 5 phones, including the work phone that I can't remember the passcode for, and a non-UK phone that I needed to buy for travelling a few years ago. I also definitely am guilty of getting an upgrade and leaving it around because I can't be asked to transfer things over for a few weeks.

What was on the SIM? If nothing, I'd assume there must be an obvious explanation for why he has a phone that doesn't seem to be used.

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