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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Found a mobile in DH's desk draw

510 replies

worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 14:25

I was tidying up DH's home office when I found a mysterious mobile in the draw, I feel devastated. I managed to turn it on but it's got a passcode.

After all the times I've read about this on mumsnet I never thought it would happen to me but when I think about it he has been distant lately, seems distracted and he has been working late popping off to meeting later in the day etc.

DH doesnt know I've found it and he is out at the moment, does anyone have any words of advice or how to go about bringing it up?

OP posts:
GoodChat · 05/06/2023 15:38

@Soontobe60 she corrected her typo. She meant maybe its not all over

Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 15:38

It looks like it's from a lady. he should be back soon I don't think I can cope, ill have to ask him.

OP posts:
Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 15:38

sorry drawer not draw. im not thinking very well

OP posts:
LadyJ2023 · 05/06/2023 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Soontobe60 · 05/06/2023 15:40

StemStem · 05/06/2023 15:01

If he disrespects you enough to expect you clean up his home office he isn’t going to respect you enough to stay faithful.

I’m guessing that ‘cleaning up’ is a euphemism for ‘snooping’

GoodChat · 05/06/2023 15:40

worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 15:38

It looks like it's from a lady. he should be back soon I don't think I can cope, ill have to ask him.

Good luck OP

Houghmot · 05/06/2023 15:40

Why ask him, he will just lie. His not going to be truthful is he.

Did the contact have a photo? If not you might be able to find her name by opening a chat but don’t send a message then deleting the number from your contact and going back into the chat, when just a number is there you can click on the profile picture and sometimes it says there name below

TheDisgustingBrothers · 05/06/2023 15:40

to all those people saying they’re an ‘all guns blazing’ type person, do you not want to master a bit more self control? It’s not smart to be irrational and emotional and out of control, just learn a bit of restraint.

also imagine marrying someone, making those vows and then going to a divorce lawyer before you even just hold the phone out to them and ask what it’s for…if you feel like you can’t do that then you’re with the wrong person.

PriamFarrl · 05/06/2023 15:40

If it’s an iPhone then you can say ‘hey Siri, whose phone is this?’ It should tell you.

midsomermurderess · 05/06/2023 15:41

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 05/06/2023 15:30

What's a desk draw?

Man a fucking live.

PriamFarrl · 05/06/2023 15:41

You can do that even from the Lock Screen.

Daffodil63 · 05/06/2023 15:41

Definitely don't ask him he won't tell the truth if something is going on and I speaking from experience
My thoughts were if something was going on it would be more hidden somewhere like in his car
If he goes out tomorrow at 5.30 then you need to follow or get a friend to follow.

PriamFarrl · 05/06/2023 15:42

PriamFarrl · 05/06/2023 15:41

You can do that even from the Lock Screen.

Sorry, I meant you can ask Siri who the phone belongs to from the Lock Screen.

polkadotdalmation · 05/06/2023 15:42

Hope it's innocent, but doesn't look good. However men usually guard these mystery phones well.

Jagoda · 05/06/2023 15:42

I hope there’s an innocent explanation but I would be very suspicious.

Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 15:42

i've text him and hes coming back around 4pm

OP posts:
Tidsleytiddy · 05/06/2023 15:43

I’d just leave the phone on the side in the kitchen or wherever else it’d be seen and take it from there

VisionsOfSplendour · 05/06/2023 15:43

Don't worry about not having Facebook to check you can easily sign up, you don't need to actually use it

Daffodil63 · 05/06/2023 15:43

Soontobe60 that's quite an unkind thing to say "snooping" -she's entitled look where ever she wants it's her home

Original poster
worried2jsb · 05/06/2023 15:43

‘hey Siri, whose phone is this?’ i didnt know that

OP posts:
BigFatLiar · 05/06/2023 15:44

If you had to charge the phone he was obviously eagerly awaiting the message.

It may not have been for hom OH got a message saying 'mum can you pick me up from the station' I suspect it wasn't for him, if he's someone's mum I'm sure I'd know.

TidyDancer · 05/06/2023 15:44

So sorry OP. It doesn't sound great does it? His reaction to you asking about it may well tell you a lot even if his words don't.

GrazingSheep · 05/06/2023 15:45

Did the message show up on the locked screen?

Legoandloldolls · 05/06/2023 15:45

Hopefully it's nothing sinister. Right now it's just a random phone

PuddlesPityParty · 05/06/2023 15:45

TidyDancer · 05/06/2023 15:44

So sorry OP. It doesn't sound great does it? His reaction to you asking about it may well tell you a lot even if his words don't.

??? There’s literally been nothing suspicious.