Found a mobile in DH's desk draw

[worried2jsb]

I was tidying up DH's home office when I found a mysterious mobile in the draw, I feel devastated. I managed to turn it on but it's got a passcode.

After all the times I've read about this on mumsnet I never thought it would happen to me but when I think about it he has been distant lately, seems distracted and he has been working late popping off to meeting later in the day etc.

DH doesnt know I've found it and he is out at the moment, does anyone have any words of advice or how to go about bringing it up?

What I don’t understand about this is if he’s gone and got a work phone why he never mentioned it. If he’s self employed then he would’ve mentioned buying it. Maybe I just have a different relationship with my husband in which we talk about mundane shit like “how was your day?” “Fine thanks, I’m thinking of buying a phone for work so I can send out reminders…”

You might have been able to see where he was going! What he was actually doing there and who with is a different matter

Exactly. Op had no inkling he had a secret phone. That’s what it is because he never told her. It is very unusual for a spouse to have an extra phone and not mention it to their partner. Unless….

One can point something out without taking personal offence. You should try it sometime.

This thread is batshit, the people egging you on to check whatsapp pics, ring random numbers, what exactly can you conclude? If I wasn't trusted to this extent I'd end my marriage to be honest, where there's no trust, there's no marriage. If a man did all this to a woman it'd be controlling, but a woman does this egged on by a group of bored women oh no it's fine, he's obviously up to no good, follow him, get a tracker etc etc 🤪🙄.

I agree

Why does he need an actual phone for texting reminders to clients?

Isnt that done on a computer?

So do I.

That’s because most women don’t tend to have a whole new phone their husbands know nothing about with a different passcode on to their original phone.

Also most men cheat where as most women are loyal. (Not all-most)

I don't think you are a fool. I think all the people on this thread desperate for a juicy affair story are disgusting though.

I'd hide this thread now if I was you, OP.

Ooh, hark at Ms Cleverclogs.

Agree with this, too.

My phone can take two sims. Work gave me a work phone and sim but I just stuck the work sim in my personal phone as its far easier than dicking about with two phones.

If you had to charge it to turn it on he isn't actively using it is he.

I think your overreacting here.

If any partner of mine wanted the pass code for my phone they'd be an ex partner very quickly.

I have an iPhone for work. I have turned it on maybe once. It lives, uncharged, at the bottom of my bag.

I agree.

What I also find fascinating is that some people cannot comprehend that there can be a scenario which is different to their own work/life/technology experience etc.

Well if you had to charge to turn it on it might not be do important to him now. Once I bought another phone because my child lost my first one then found it again.

I would just mention you were tidying up, say I found this, looks flat, f you don't need it should I take it to recycling.

See how he reacts. He might explain.

For people asking why he needs a phone for text reminders. He doesn’t he can do that via a computer program but he will need a phone for them to respond so for example if the 5:30 appointment had wanted to change that or cancel they wouldn’t be able to respond which is why I have an iPhone for contacting clients. iPhone’s are cheap and can easily be linked to other work apps.

Seriously do people really end marriages/relationships on such small things in RL

Before I became self employed I was issued with a work phone; everyone in the team had one whether they wanted one or not. I maybe used mine twice and it sat in a drawer until I left my job. I didn't use it because I couldn't customise it in any way, and I preferred to just use one phone for work and my personal life. The phone was encrypted and I had to enter a password to use it. I doubt that I ever mentioned thst I had the phone to my husband as there was no reason to. I wouldn't have been annoyed if he had found it and asked me about it, but I would have been angry if he had continued to question me when I'd given a reasonable explanation for why I had it.

The truth is worth finding out.

Turning your head away, sticking your head in the sand, pretending you didn’t find an unfamiliar phone that your spouse had never mentioned having,

that might be ok for some but not for those who appreciate knowing the truth of a matter, whatever it is.

I can’t stand people who turn their head away, it’s the same mindset of weak cowards who cover up for predators.

It sounds plausible to me.

If I'd been that upset at seeing the phone then I would want to see the app and look at the messages and finish checking to be able to draw a line under it. Anything else would be lying to myself I think and trying to convince myself I'm comfortable with it when I'm not. I'd also now be on high alert if anything else mildly suspicious came up, which is not a happy place to be. Better to just finish checking this out and put it to bed.

Take him up on his offer. Get the Tesla app and check everything you need to to feel confident what he's saying is true, without having to take anything on trust from him. This will stop you from having to doubt him later.

What a depressing outlook to have on life - of course most men don't cheat! Undoubtedly some do, but I don't believe most do.

We already know there’s no history as the message arrives in isolation.

Mrs.

iPhones are not cheap. Especially newer generations. Bunch of liars.