Husband angry all the time

[FeelingLowLowLow]

Any advice mumsnetters? My husband seems to be permanently angry. At me. At our dc. At his colleagues at work. At his mum. So fed up with it. Am wondering if this is a sign of a mid life crisis? Does anyone have any tips to make life easier other than LTB?!!

Get some support to get this lunatic out of your house.

No woman is a rehab centre for a broken man. Whatever his issues are, they are his alone to fix. And if he truly loved you/his family, he'd sort himself out. Instead, you're getting icy rage and anger. Those aren't the actions of someone that loves you. It's someone that dislikes, maybe even hates you.

For your own safety, I would seriously start making plans to get away from him.

I read your other thread and wow, I really feel for you. Life is too short, and you’d be better off without him. You know in your heart of hearts it’s over.

So why are you trying?

Am making plans. Completely had enough now. Could cope with the quiet simmering of the past months, but the explosive rage multiple times a day over the slightest thing, and the irrational accusations are just too much. I can see he's having a massive crisis, but I just can't take anymore. If there was any glimmer of the man I married I'd try, but I fear he is long gone. I feel as if I'm married to a tate clone.

I'm so sorry and I could have written your post 4 years ago

My ex also accused me of sexual assault when it clearly was t and it shocked me

He did so many passive aggressive things to assuage his rage - he could just be honest so he changed his will to cut me out

You cannot live with permanent rage .

Leave before it changes you and while you still know that it’s wrong - and your kids don’t have to normalise his behaviour. Don’t become an apologist. Your kids should not have to learn this to pass it on to future generations. It’s actually easier to leave than to continue a toxic path that serves literally no one. As for love… he is not the same person you fell in love with. I know it’s not easy so I wish you ALL the best OP and hope you feel the strength and support from the community on here Xx

@PicnicBunny thank you so much, it really has helped coming on here.

Op
Don't ever let him know you're on here either .

I made that mistake . It prevented me from accessing any more online support because he watched everything I did like a hawk and stalked my online activity to see if I was disrespectful of him to strangers online

I got out! Thank you all for your support back then, it was very much appreciated. 💐

Well done. I hope life is a lot happier and more peaceful for you and your child now.

That's fantastic. Was he having a mental health crisis or what was the issue with the anger?

Delighted for you though!

Be more honest with him op, you’re placating placating placating. ‘Well yes I am trying to defend her, frankly she doesn’t deserve this, I’m very sorry you’ve fired her, you’ve rather dumped us in the shit by doing that and you don’t seem to have considered the effect on your family at all but that’s not new is it, when did you last consider your family?? Don’t message her and I don’t want to look at you.’

Sorry zombie thread! But I see your update, well done you!!

What wonderful news!! Congratulations 🍾

As an aside - when I was reading all your posts it took me back seeing bluebeanbag's name! Both of you are stars

Glad to hear you left OP. Hope your life is much better without this miserable man in your life.

So glad you’re out of it, OP. I’ve just read back over your threads and it sounds like a terrible time. Well done for pushing through.

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Well done you! 💪

Well done! I had a very similar situation OP and also left. I couldn't base every day around his erratic angry moods and false accusations. He also became paranoid and spent lots of time on the computer. I have no idea what happened but am relieved I got out.

Well done.
Ant advise on how to leave?

Ow that you are out and, I hope, safe what do you think snout the situation looking back? Do you have any advice for others?

Just seen your update - well done OP!

I’d consider leaving him.
This is NOT a normal loving relationship.

Why should you stay with someone who treats you like this?

oriorutuse yourself and the dc. Ask him to leave to sort himself out and give you some breathing space.