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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Nursery staff making my son sick?

217 replies

Thefirstime · 24/05/2023 08:12

This might sound so dark/strange, but I have gut intuition here that the current setting my son is at, is making him sick.. literally vomit..

A bit of background - we have decided to keep my son on into the prep school, he will
start reception from sept and they don’t want him to (some of the staff) there is a 3 is a crowd scenario with my son and another boy who’s mum is a teacher..

i think a few things have happened and they haven’t told me - the nursery staff are so clicky and awful.. but right now he has a few friends and seems relatively happy..

we have no other option as we don’t live close by to any other school/s unless we move home..

I have spoken with them and they keep saying everything is ok.. since accepting a place in Reception - he has been sick multiple times and had a frequent fever - I am having him checked at the hospital..

what on earth do I do?!

I don’t have trust right now.. do I pull him out? We stand to lose a place and don’t have anything else..

it’s a major safeguarding issue that I feel is at play.. but I have nothing to prove at all.. only teaching assistants avoiding me at pick up.. no idea what has happened..

OP posts:
Original poster
Thefirstime · 24/05/2023 10:25

@watcherintherye thank you, best response yet..

OP posts:
Whinge · 24/05/2023 10:28

Op, you seem to be ignoring all the posters saying remove your child.

It doesn't matter if the staff are cliquey or why your child is ill. If the trust has gone, why would you still send your child?

Original poster
Thefirstime · 24/05/2023 10:30

@Whinge this is what they want! For us to leave, this is around the time when it all started shortly after we accepted the place..

OP posts:
BodenCardiganNot · 24/05/2023 10:30

*Ok - there have been cases of things like child abuse in nursery settings - this is not entirely unheard of.. I’m saying I don’t know what is going on because I honestly don’t! I think many of you should be careful calling people unwell on here..

i have presented the fact he has been sick for the past few months in particular..

the trust has gone and again, I don’t know why..?

if anyone has ideas around that..*

If you think he is being abused why have you not taken him out???:?

Sammymommy · 24/05/2023 10:31

Also, can't you go to a private doctor and ask for an extensive blood work and just pay for it? Say your child has been vomiting a lot and you want to check he is not sick/poisoned himself accidentally.

Sirzy · 24/05/2023 10:31

Thefirstime · 24/05/2023 10:30

@Whinge this is what they want! For us to leave, this is around the time when it all started shortly after we accepted the place..

So you’re leaving your child somewhere you think they are in danger to prove a point?

sorry but do you not see how wrong that sounds?

Original poster
Thefirstime · 24/05/2023 10:31

@Whinge it’s not as simple, I have a job, no other childcare help.. I need to look at other options asap

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 24/05/2023 10:32

Thefirstime · Today 10:13
I haven’t actually used the word poison- some of you guys did.. I do believe that perhaps they can have the power to make kids poorly.. many of the staff have worked there for many years (10 plus) and are in positions where they could misuse and abuse power with young children.. “

If these staff have been there for 10 years or more and exert “power” to make children physically unwell, why has this not come to light before?

Worried about you now. You really need to see your GP asap.

kirinm · 24/05/2023 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Thefirstime · 24/05/2023 10:32

Because thoughts sometimes get in the way of being rational..?

my gut is telling me something is wrong and off but I have no other way of knowing

OP posts:
NeedCoffeeNowPlease · 24/05/2023 10:34

OP, can you please explain how you think they might have the power to make kids sick?

Original poster
Thefirstime · 24/05/2023 10:34

@kirinm @MrsSkylerWhite very unhelpful and unsupportive

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 24/05/2023 10:35

If someone is given a substance which causes illness, that is called poisoning.
It doesn't have to be something like arsenic.

kirinm · 24/05/2023 10:37

Thefirstime · 24/05/2023 10:34

@kirinm @MrsSkylerWhite very unhelpful and unsupportive

You either accept that your own anxiety is making you paranoid and you don't truly believe what you're feeling - and you haven't done that.

Or, you do think this is happening but aren't going to take any steps to stop the abuse.

Whinge · 24/05/2023 10:37

Thefirstime · 24/05/2023 10:30

@Whinge this is what they want! For us to leave, this is around the time when it all started shortly after we accepted the place..

So you'd rather leave your child in the care of people who you think want to deliberately hurt them? Hmm

Who cares if they want you to leave. If you think your child is at risk then why would you want these people to be the ones caring for him?

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/05/2023 10:37

Thefirstime · Today 10:34
@kirinm @MrsSkylerWhite very unhelpful and unsupportive”

How? Many posters are telling you that they feel you may be unwell. You don’t seem to realise how irrational your thoughts are.

Mirabai · 24/05/2023 10:37

It’s good you have a GP appt today. As well as detailing your thoughts on this scenario be sure to highlight your anxiety as well.

TheShellBeach · 24/05/2023 10:37

Thefirstime · 24/05/2023 10:31

@Whinge it’s not as simple, I have a job, no other childcare help.. I need to look at other options asap

If I genuinely thought someone was deliberately poisoning my child my first response would be to remove the child from the setting where the supposed poisoning took place.

BodenCardiganNot · 24/05/2023 10:38

Will your husband attend the GP appointment with you? He may be able to give another view point too.

Eckyftang · 24/05/2023 11:03

Sorry op but you can't say you think they are making your child unwell but then claim oh I didn't mention poisoning! How else would they be making them ill?

As I said before. The cynic in me says you are using the alleged illness to, in your own words "get them" because you can't "get them" on the back of the very flimsy excuse that the staff are "clicky and awful" which in itself is such a vague accusation.

This smells extremely fishy. For the very simple reason that most people who genuinely thought their nursery is intentionally making the child ill would remove them immediately.

GoodChat · 24/05/2023 11:06

Thefirstime · 24/05/2023 10:31

@Whinge it’s not as simple, I have a job, no other childcare help.. I need to look at other options asap

If you think your child is being poisoned you take them out of the setting immediately and take them to the A&E immediately. Work is not the priority here.

penniesmakeshillingsandshillingsmakepounds · 24/05/2023 11:07

I honestly think this is very sad. I firstly thought it was a wind up but I can see the OP honestly believes this.

The fact that you think someone is actively making your child sick because he is a third wheel in a friendship group with 2 other kids.
They want you to leave so they are hurting your child and making him sick.
Your gut is telling you this.
You will not give in to them to leave so keep sending him in to (according to you) be abused.
You will send him in anyway because you have no other childcare available.
I wanna get them.. I want them to be reprimanded.....sounds like you have a vendetta of your own.

Blueypartymummy · 24/05/2023 11:09

Please do call NSPCC, I have contacted them before about a safeguarding concern and they are brilliant.

Also, if you can afford independent school, think about what else you can afford to help you:

A private counsellor - it really strikes me that you must feel so alone and have no one in real life you can trust to talk to about things like this.

A private paeds appointment to run bloodwork and check for other health issues. Although it sounds like you already have a paeds appointment sorted.

I don't think you think you really believe your child is being poisoned/ deliberately infected with illnesses - I think you want reassurance of how incredibly unlikely this is.

I get it - people saying just pull your child from the setting are telling you to implode your childcare arrangements and plans for school on a gut feeling. Do they even have young children? I think not, nobody with young children would think it is easy to find another good preschool/ primary school at this point in the year!

DanceMonster · 24/05/2023 11:14

Thefirstime · 24/05/2023 10:31

@Whinge it’s not as simple, I have a job, no other childcare help.. I need to look at other options asap

I don’t buy it. If you honestly thought your child was being poisoned you would be taking him out of there, job or not. If you genuinely think this is happening, then you are putting him in harms way by continuing to send him in.

DanceMonster · 24/05/2023 11:16

I get it - people saying just pull your child from the setting are telling you to implode your childcare arrangements and plans for school on a gut feeling. Do they even have young children? I think not, nobody with young children would think it is easy to find another good preschool/ primary school at this point in the year!

I have young children, including an autistic son in pre school. We have recently moved his childcare provider as we were unhappy with the communication we were getting from them. If I thought he was being poisoned, he wouldn’t spend another second in their care.