Nursery staff making my son sick?

[Thefirstime]

This might sound so dark/strange, but I have gut intuition here that the current setting my son is at, is making him sick.. literally vomit..

A bit of background - we have decided to keep my son on into the prep school, he will
start reception from sept and they don’t want him to (some of the staff) there is a 3 is a crowd scenario with my son and another boy who’s mum is a teacher..

i think a few things have happened and they haven’t told me - the nursery staff are so clicky and awful.. but right now he has a few friends and seems relatively happy..

we have no other option as we don’t live close by to any other school/s unless we move home..

I have spoken with them and they keep saying everything is ok.. since accepting a place in Reception - he has been sick multiple times and had a frequent fever - I am having him checked at the hospital..

what on earth do I do?!

I don’t have trust right now.. do I pull him out? We stand to lose a place and don’t have anything else..

it’s a major safeguarding issue that I feel is at play.. but I have nothing to prove at all.. only teaching assistants avoiding me at pick up.. no idea what has happened..

There are indeed friendship issues..

I just don’t know if he has been unlucky and unwell but I feel in my gut more is going on.. why would they avoid me on pick up / drop off?

they clearly don’t want him to return for reception prioritising another child.

they also said my son have autism last year.. but never put it in writing..

I have come across many situations where there are issues with staff, favouritism etc, and it is sad that there is that going on. But there is an enormous leap from someone being a bit bitchy or not great at their job, to someone actually poisoning your child in some way.

It is really fantasy land.

But if you are not happy you should remove him.

One of the first pp said - trust your gut instinct, you know he isn't happy. That is very unlikely to be due to them making him sick, but could 100% be because there is some poor staff behaviour.

You think nursery staff are poisoning your child because they avoid you at pick up? But you still send him in?

I agree

This is potentially such a serious matter that it needs investigation by professionals

Is this a state school or academy? And has your son already been allocated a place in reception? If so, it can't make any difference whether you keep him in nursery or not, he will still have the place. So the staff have nothing to gain by making him ill.

It’s extremely extremely rare but I was accused of this I knew it was false but had to be thoroughly investigated which given the severity of the accusations I had to just comply. It’s an allegation that is taken so seriously

If you genuinely think this, and have good reason, then you report to Ofsted.

But I would consider whether getting treatment for your own anxiety/paranoia might be a better use of your time.

I just don’t know if he has been unlucky and unwell but I feel in my gut more is going on.. why would they avoid me on pick up / drop off?

You've posted a thread accusing them of deliberatly making your son ill because of a few friendship issues. Maybe they're picking up on this in real life and are avoiding you so you can't make any more unfounded allegations.

They are not qualified to diagnose autism, so they wouldn’t be able to put anything in writing. Do you mean they expressed concerns that he may have autism? Do you have any concerns of this nature yourself?

OP, kindly, have you ever suffered with your own mental health?

The OP said it’s a prep school, so independent.

Your gut is telling you something is not right - believe it.

I'm not saying I think your son is being poisoned - that could easily be a bad run of illness and in the first instance I'd go to the GP and say how this unusual run of illness is really worrying you - ask the GP to do tests to rule out things like leukemia and accidental poisoning - be honest about that.

I think the situation with the 3 children and the teacher is much more likely to be the cause of your gut feelings.

I'd talk to the manager and say you have concerns about your son's friendships and ask to come in and observe him for a bit in the setting.

How is your son's communication? What is he telling you about the setting?

Speak to the nursery manager about your concerns

seriously op, it's a strong accusation to be throwing around, that they're poisoning your child, let alone that the basis of this is because of a toddlers friendships.

Please take him out if you genuinely believe this and report to the police.

You sound pretty suss though, could it be health anxiety?

Children get sick when they go to nursery (and school) - some more than others. Some children favour some children and not others - same as adults - it’s life. None of these mean your child is in danger - if they were, why are they still attending and you haven’t withdrawn them?

It is private - I was told how competitive some of the parents can be.. my son is very bright..

I do have anxiety, nothing diagnosed per se, but I do have anxious thoughts..

my son has at times been unhappy with friendship related issues.. but I have bought that to there attention (my son tells me everything) and it changed for the better..

I know this is a serious allegation and I feel awful even thinking this could be the case but something just feels SO off.. the past few months all of a sudden he has been so poorly and had so much time off!!

Ah, just seen the bit about autism, I had a feeling about that as an autistic mother myself.

OP. You are clearly upset about this but PPs are right, remove your child and contact relevant authorities, GP, OFSTED. But do be mindful that it is a serious allegation and have hard evidence to back up your claim, (which, I'm afraid, could be very difficult to prove).

In my opinion from what you have posted your priorities now need to be -

remove him from nursery, the trust has gone.

Talk to the GP and his health and probably even more importantly your mental health. It sounds like you are having a lot of instrusive thoughts and things like that will often get worse without treatment.

get onto the education department at the local authority to discuss a placement for September in reception.

Has he been checked over by a GP at any point? If he's had a run of recurring symptoms I'd want them to see if anything else was going on as a first point of call that was either the underlying cause of these symptoms or causing his immune system to be crap.

Nursery staff poisoning a child would be quite far down my checklist of possible causes, but of course if you're uncomfortable you remove him from the setting, and if you have any evidence report them so it can be fairly investigated.

Also agree with getting support for yourself too.

Do you not think it could be a much simpler answer. My child was always ill at nursery in comparison to other kids and it was because we don't have a huge social circle and therefore was more prone to illness because she didn't really socialise with other children outside of nursery or maybe he's becoming gluten/milk intolerant etc .

I think its insane you think someone is poisoning your child and you continue to send them.

Advice is NOT to alert the person you suspect . Refer immediately to professional services and let them investigate

but that is exactly the point.
The accusation was made (and I am sorry that you had to go through that)
But it was false, because it is incredibly unlikely that this would be real

My first thought would be underlying illness not poisoning.
He may have coeliac disease which obviously wouldn't affect the other dc.