Hello everyone,
Thank you for your input in advance.
I have been with my wife for 13 years, and we have a 5 1/2-year-old daughter together. Our relationship was never great. We both love our dd immensely.
The problem with the wife ( I think) is that she is very controlling with dd. She will not allow dd to play with cold (or) warm water; she only bathes her one or max two times a week because of the fear that she will get a cold. Anytime dd has a bit runny nose, she freaks out and dresses her, even in 20c outside, with two t-shirts, a jumper and a jacket (in winter is even worst).
Furthermore, DD is not allowed to help in the kitchen while I prepare something to cook or put her hand on anything meat; if she does, she must wash her hand instantly; otherwise, Mum gets very upset. She is not to touch anything with her face; god forbid if she touches her face against the carpet when she plays on the floor, end of the world. She is not allowed to touch almost anything foreign.
DD is not allowed to make noise or yell when we are playing... she can't be her.
The wife is always autocratic with our dd and almost always says to dd, "Don't do this..., don't do that..., don't touch this..., don't touch that ", etc. I understand these are everyday things to say to kids, but this is constant throughout the day. She monitors every move of dd. I have noticed that my dd becomes very frustrated and angry because of this, to the extent that she goes into a complete rage where she can't control herself and throws herself violently on the floor.
It is scarce when my wife is cuddly with dd. When I point this out, she says she is always cuddly with her but doesn't like to be cuddly with dd when I am home. The wife seems almost always to be grumpy and unhappy.
I am very frustrated and angry. I feel that the above affects the mental health of my daughter. Is there anything to be done?