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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

CAUGHT ON FABSWINGERS

137 replies

Capybara1 · 18/05/2023 20:37

Hi, I’m a single woman on fabswingers. I haven’t met anyone yet but I’m considering.
Striking up conversation with a headless guy lol with a great body, we really got on and he was lovely to talk to.

He eventually sent some explicit photos and I wasn’t mad. But after chatting all day we agreed to exchange face pics. I couldn’t meet someone I didn’t fancy and so I asked him first.

So imagine my utter shock when the pic came through and I know the guy. I know his wife enough to have coffee with occasionally. The guy told me he’d met quite a few people on fab so far already. I’m ignoring his messages now but I’m in a quandary over what to do?

I’ve even thought about printing the pics of him and sending them in the post as I just can’t bear to tell her. I’d also like to keep the fact that I’m in fab a secret as I have children. I am however, single. Unlike this guy. But do I leave her in an ignorance is bliss state or do I do the anonymous tip off? Advice please x

OP posts:

beatrix1234 · 08/09/2023 17:01

hev126 · 08/09/2023 16:41

@beatrix1234 obviously there's some married men on tinder - nobody is naive enough to think that's not the case.

However, there's a big difference between meeting a guy on a site for singles who has chosen to lie about being married vs going on a site designed for married people to cheat.

Fabswingers is not a site for married men to cheat, at least it was not designed for that. Swingers come in all shape, forms and status: single, married and partnered. If you go into Fabswingers you'll find plenty of both single and married, same as if you go to any swingers club. Truth is OP doesn't know if her friend is in a monogamous marriage or not.

NotAgainBrian · 08/09/2023 17:09

JenMc6690 · 08/09/2023 13:36

I've just caught my partner using this site. don't suppose you wanna do me a favour 🙈 just message him and see if he replies. Or add him and see if he accepts. My heads up my asse with it all. I don't want to confront him for him to say he was just watching porn. I understand if you'd rather not 😊

I'm really sorry to hear that. I've been through the exact same situation and it's absolutely shit. I don't want to put it all on here for various reasons, so I'll message you.

IdoIdoIpoo · 08/09/2023 17:11

Tell her

porridgeisbae · 08/09/2023 19:48

Fabswingers isn't all married people. Single people can be fornicators too.

porridgeisbae · 08/09/2023 19:49

Even the 'swingers' bit is kind of a misnomer really. Yes some people might swing but others are people looking for some individual to hook up with ASAP.

dailygrind22 · 08/09/2023 20:00

JenMc6690 · 08/09/2023 13:36

I’ve sent you a PM xx

beatrix1234 · 08/09/2023 20:03

porridgeisbae · 08/09/2023 19:49

Even the 'swingers' bit is kind of a misnomer really. Yes some people might swing but others are people looking for some individual to hook up with ASAP.

Most guys there are searching for a “swinging couple” for a threesome but if some lady wants some action hey ho. Men are not that picky . I know a woman who met a guy for sex, went to his place, he had a hidden camera and taped the whole thing without her knowledge. I don’t think you’ll find the nicest guys on that site…

porridgeisbae · 12/09/2023 20:48

@beatrix1234 Of course not. It's something I did a few times years ago. Most people aren't on there to find good husband material.

James1123 · 06/03/2024 12:52

def don’t print pints and send them that actually a criminal offence

Indifferentchickenwings · 06/03/2024 15:03

The messanger always get shot

sorry 😞 but I’d stay out of it

and take a screenshot just in case

James1123 · 07/03/2024 09:03

To be honest my ex wife and I did it for years. She was a really lovely primary school teacher and now a visiting lecturer teaching people to be teachers and visits students in most of your kids schools and you’d probably all love her. I worked as an ambulance driver. Everyone we met were the nicest most grounded respectful people we ever met and we made some really lovely friends. Most people looked at single guys as total loosers and they very rarely get any messages or invites, infact most (99%) actually say no single guys. It’s very unlikely he’d have ever got an invitation to meet. Very few invite single guys as the male half of the relationship doesn’t get as much from it. It’s about making it exciting for everyone and Leaving nobody out

YoucancallmeKAREN · 07/03/2024 18:38

RudsyFarmer · 18/05/2023 20:53

Oh gosh there’s no right answer to this. Does he know that you know him? Do they have young kids? Personally I wouldn’t want to be responsible for blowing a family apart and ruining the childhood of little kids, so no I wouldn’t do anything. I’d just quietly simmer on
it and hate him from a distance.

He would be responsible not the OP. His wife's health is at risk here so she should be told.

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