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Original poster

CAUGHT ON FABSWINGERS

137 replies

Capybara1 · 18/05/2023 20:37

Hi, I’m a single woman on fabswingers. I haven’t met anyone yet but I’m considering.
Striking up conversation with a headless guy lol with a great body, we really got on and he was lovely to talk to.

He eventually sent some explicit photos and I wasn’t mad. But after chatting all day we agreed to exchange face pics. I couldn’t meet someone I didn’t fancy and so I asked him first.

So imagine my utter shock when the pic came through and I know the guy. I know his wife enough to have coffee with occasionally. The guy told me he’d met quite a few people on fab so far already. I’m ignoring his messages now but I’m in a quandary over what to do?

I’ve even thought about printing the pics of him and sending them in the post as I just can’t bear to tell her. I’d also like to keep the fact that I’m in fab a secret as I have children. I am however, single. Unlike this guy. But do I leave her in an ignorance is bliss state or do I do the anonymous tip off? Advice please x

OP posts:
Dibdabble · 18/05/2023 21:17

Coming from someone previously in an almost identical situation to his wife… tell her. Anonymously if you need to. The thought that I could be spending the last half a decade with a man who was our shagging god knows who whilst I was at work sends chills down my spine. The best thing I ever had happen to me was to receive the messages informing me (with clear evidence Envy) of what he had been doing for years.

Original poster
Capybara1 · 18/05/2023 21:18

Dibdabble · 18/05/2023 21:17

Coming from someone previously in an almost identical situation to his wife… tell her. Anonymously if you need to. The thought that I could be spending the last half a decade with a man who was our shagging god knows who whilst I was at work sends chills down my spine. The best thing I ever had happen to me was to receive the messages informing me (with clear evidence Envy) of what he had been doing for years.

I’m sorry to hear this but I value your advice coming from the experience you’ve had x

OP posts:
VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 18/05/2023 21:22

RudsyFarmer · 18/05/2023 20:53

Oh gosh there’s no right answer to this. Does he know that you know him? Do they have young kids? Personally I wouldn’t want to be responsible for blowing a family apart and ruining the childhood of little kids, so no I wouldn’t do anything. I’d just quietly simmer on
it and hate him from a distance.

He's also endangering his wife's health by potentially bringing home STIs. She has a right to know that her husband has risked her health.

Dibdabble · 18/05/2023 21:23

OP will not be responsible for ruining a family! That blame lies solely with him of his wife is unaware.

Dibdabble · 18/05/2023 21:23

If his wife* is unaware

ArcticSkewer · 18/05/2023 21:24

WoofWoofBeachLife · 18/05/2023 20:56

They would be advertising as a couple then wouldn't they, plus he said to OP he's met up with several women from Fab.

Show quote history

No they would only advertise as a couple if they were both open to meet someone. She might not be bothered or they might meet completely separately, who knows. It's poor form for a man to use a couples profile if it is only him going to meets/swapping.

Who knows, op. I never look at the single men on there - how do you find the time?! - but it seems an unlucky coincidence that you bumped into him. Is it definitely even him? That site is full of stolen pics and made up profiles. I'd leave it, but tell her if you think it's best

Original poster
Capybara1 · 18/05/2023 21:30

ArcticSkewer · 18/05/2023 21:24

No they would only advertise as a couple if they were both open to meet someone. She might not be bothered or they might meet completely separately, who knows. It's poor form for a man to use a couples profile if it is only him going to meets/swapping.

Who knows, op. I never look at the single men on there - how do you find the time?! - but it seems an unlucky coincidence that you bumped into him. Is it definitely even him? That site is full of stolen pics and made up profiles. I'd leave it, but tell her if you think it's best

Show quote history

Unfortunately it’s definitely him. This isn’t a case of a phone account.

OP posts:
Original poster
Capybara1 · 18/05/2023 21:35

Capybara1 · 18/05/2023 21:30

Unfortunately it’s definitely him. This isn’t a case of a phone account.

Show quote history

*Phoney

OP posts:
frankgu · 18/05/2023 21:36

Don't get involved, you will be in the firing line for one. She may know already

frankgu · 18/05/2023 21:37

Doing it anonymously is worse

GentlemanJay · 18/05/2023 21:37

Surprise surprise. Married guy on Fab. You need to be careful what you wish for on there. Lol.

NotAgainBrian · 18/05/2023 21:38

As someone who caught their husband on fabswingers, I wish I'd found out sooner and if someone we knew had found out about it, I would have 100% wanted them to tell me.

frankgu · 18/05/2023 21:38

Tell me if this is a step too far but I considered posting them to a closer friend of hers so she could tell her. But I guess that isn’t fair to do to her.

If you could print flyers up & leaflet the town?!

Mummapenguin20 · 18/05/2023 21:42

I’d wanna know

Dibdabble · 18/05/2023 21:46

frankgu · 18/05/2023 21:37

Doing it anonymously is worse

Worse than what?

Newdoggo · 18/05/2023 21:49

Could you just message back saying oh this is awkward, I didn't realise you and 'wifes name' were on here, next time I see her I'm sure we'll have a chuckle about it over coffee after all we're all consenting adults 😂He still won't know who you are but if she doesn't know about it he will shit himself!!

Cordeliathecat · 18/05/2023 21:50

I don’t know what fabswingers is? Is it just a dating site? Or for people who want to cheat? Or for couples who swing? But then why would single people be on it?

Anyway, on the one hand I would want to know if my DH was on it and meeting women. But don’t you think it would be awful for her if you did it anonymously? It’s obviously from someone she knows. So she would be doubting all her friendships. Wondering who and how many friends know about her awful cheating husband. I think if you tell her, you shouldn’t do it anonymously as it would be torture for her.

Dibdabble · 18/05/2023 21:54

Cordeliathecat · 18/05/2023 21:50

I don’t know what fabswingers is? Is it just a dating site? Or for people who want to cheat? Or for couples who swing? But then why would single people be on it?

Anyway, on the one hand I would want to know if my DH was on it and meeting women. But don’t you think it would be awful for her if you did it anonymously? It’s obviously from someone she knows. So she would be doubting all her friendships. Wondering who and how many friends know about her awful cheating husband. I think if you tell her, you shouldn’t do it anonymously as it would be torture for her.

I was informed anonymously, yes not great and I do sometimes wonder who it was. However any upset I may or may not feel/have felt about that is very much overshadowed by the fact that my whole life was changed due to the information I received and I will be forever grateful that someone informed me of it, anonymously or not.

WilkinsonM · 18/05/2023 22:00

Cordeliathecat · 18/05/2023 21:50

I don’t know what fabswingers is? Is it just a dating site? Or for people who want to cheat? Or for couples who swing? But then why would single people be on it?

Anyway, on the one hand I would want to know if my DH was on it and meeting women. But don’t you think it would be awful for her if you did it anonymously? It’s obviously from someone she knows. So she would be doubting all her friendships. Wondering who and how many friends know about her awful cheating husband. I think if you tell her, you shouldn’t do it anonymously as it would be torture for her.

Couples and solo swingers. Lots and LOTS of solo men (who may or may not be single) hoping to get lucky with couples or women. Most fail.

frankgu · 18/05/2023 22:01

@Dibdabble telling her.

I've seen this play out 3 times; all those times the messenger got shot. In 2 of the occasions the wife stayed with the cheating husband (one already had suspicions. The one with suspicions was told anonymously but because there was no "visible" action to that response she was then told anonymously again & then in person.

If the OP see no fall out will she think her anonymous message hasn't made it through?

Dibdabble · 18/05/2023 22:03

Does it matter what the outcome is? That is for the wife to decide once she is aware of what her husband is doing.

All the OP can do is inform her 🤷🏼‍♀️

Original poster
Capybara1 · 18/05/2023 22:05

GentlemanJay · 18/05/2023 21:37

Surprise surprise. Married guy on Fab. You need to be careful what you wish for on there. Lol.

I certainly didn’t wish for a married guy nor knew I know!

OP posts:
Flufs · 18/05/2023 22:11

Print them out and post them to her. Make the envelope look boring

caringcarer · 18/05/2023 22:12

Maybe83 · 18/05/2023 21:09

I would print them off send them to her with a typed note to say you thought she should know but apologise if she was aware. She may know but the risk to her if she doesn't is so high if he is having sex with multiple people and they are still having sex.

Then delete your account and set up a new one just in case.

Yes I think this is a good idea.

AgrathaChristie · 18/05/2023 22:22

Can you sms her the information while withholding your number? Or email setting up a one use only email account? He could be putting her health at risk so she needs to know.

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