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Original poster

CAUGHT ON FABSWINGERS

137 replies

Capybara1 · 18/05/2023 20:37

Hi, I’m a single woman on fabswingers. I haven’t met anyone yet but I’m considering.
Striking up conversation with a headless guy lol with a great body, we really got on and he was lovely to talk to.

He eventually sent some explicit photos and I wasn’t mad. But after chatting all day we agreed to exchange face pics. I couldn’t meet someone I didn’t fancy and so I asked him first.

So imagine my utter shock when the pic came through and I know the guy. I know his wife enough to have coffee with occasionally. The guy told me he’d met quite a few people on fab so far already. I’m ignoring his messages now but I’m in a quandary over what to do?

I’ve even thought about printing the pics of him and sending them in the post as I just can’t bear to tell her. I’d also like to keep the fact that I’m in fab a secret as I have children. I am however, single. Unlike this guy. But do I leave her in an ignorance is bliss state or do I do the anonymous tip off? Advice please x

OP posts:
Original poster
Capybara1 · 19/05/2023 00:18

aureus3012 · 19/05/2023 00:08

Does he have verifications? There are so many married men on there, it drives me mad. I met a guy on there and I then found out he had a 1 month old baby!

I do think you should tell the woman in question or send her the screenshot in the post. Make sure though that you include everything so he can't talk his way out of it. He could also say someone has stolen his pictures so hopefully you have some foolproof evidence!

He has a distinctive scar. She’ll know it’s him.

OP posts:
Johnisafckface · 19/05/2023 00:20

I would want to know. Esp since there’s a chance he’s sleeping around and catching a STI

WilkinsonM · 19/05/2023 05:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Why do you doubt this? It literally happened to me. You can see who is online in your area and when you appear as a new female profile you get messages from every man in a 5 mile radius! Chances of knowing the man are high especially in a small town with only 5 primary schools in my case...

Daisypain · 19/05/2023 06:22

Capybara1 · 18/05/2023 22:34

He went into it later in life. He is qualified but then still in training for other things for years.

Show quote history

that makes zero sense

Susieb2023 · 19/05/2023 06:34

Dont let her waste another moment of her precious life with this man unaware of who he is. He is ripping her right to informed sexual consent, her personal agency and putting her at risk of STIs.

Let her know asap.

ArcticSkewer · 19/05/2023 06:54

Capybara1 · 18/05/2023 22:50

No because you set your preferences ie distance etc so you see newly added people in the update section. And his profile picture is very striking.

Show quote history

Is it? Not just the usual naked man with aroused penis then?

He's a bit silly really, isn't he.

He's put on his actual location, photos with his distinctive scar, keeps uploading new profiles, isn't being cautious about writing to people he lives near, is a medic who had to go back to med school.

Either his wife knows, or he wants to be found out, or he is very stupid.

Yes, op, put him out of his misery. Tell his wife.

Tayegete · 19/05/2023 06:55

Daisypain · 19/05/2023 06:22

that makes zero sense

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That’s how medical training works! You qualify as a doctor after med school, then take a 2 year raining contract and then start your specialty training which can take from 5-10 years plus.

Tayegete · 19/05/2023 06:55

*training not raining

Emerald95 · 19/05/2023 07:29

Have you at any point asked him if he's married?
I think you're jumping the gun massively heretalking about sending pictures to his wife.
For all we know they have an open relationship and he's only marked as single because she doesn't want to swing with random Internet strangers where as he does.
If I were you I'd ask him who else he is having sexual relationships with and take it from there

DiscoBeat · 19/05/2023 07:30

I would be suspicious of any headless bodies as I'd assume they're cheating!

Daisypain · 19/05/2023 07:30

Tayegete · 19/05/2023 06:55

That’s how medical training works! You qualify as a doctor after med school, then take a 2 year raining contract and then start your specialty training which can take from 5-10 years plus.

Show quote history

None of which you do ‘at med school’

He is either not a doctor and at med school or he is a doctor (with many years of postgraduate training but not done at med school)

ArcticSkewer · 19/05/2023 07:37

DiscoBeat · 19/05/2023 07:30

I would be suspicious of any headless bodies as I'd assume they're cheating!

On fab?

To be fair, only a very stupid medic or any other professional is going to post photos of themselves having sex or completely naked with hard on and have their face showing!

There are a lot of married men on there, like there are everywhere, but there's no way I am posting a photo of my face on it and I'm neither married nor a man. It's a bit too explicit a site and profile for that kind of thing.

I'm just amazed the op stumbled across him. Perhaps she lives in a very unpopulated area. I live in a city. I'd be wading through thousands of profiles. Single men usually struggle on there.

Susieb2023 · 19/05/2023 07:38

Emerald95 · 19/05/2023 07:29

Have you at any point asked him if he's married?
I think you're jumping the gun massively heretalking about sending pictures to his wife.
For all we know they have an open relationship and he's only marked as single because she doesn't want to swing with random Internet strangers where as he does.
If I were you I'd ask him who else he is having sexual relationships with and take it from there

She knows he’s married as she goes for coffee with his wife and he’s claiming to be single on this site.

ArcticSkewer · 19/05/2023 07:38

Emerald95 · 19/05/2023 07:29

Have you at any point asked him if he's married?
I think you're jumping the gun massively heretalking about sending pictures to his wife.
For all we know they have an open relationship and he's only marked as single because she doesn't want to swing with random Internet strangers where as he does.
If I were you I'd ask him who else he is having sexual relationships with and take it from there

I do know a fair few single men profiles where this is the case. And I've met the wives at socials so I know it's true.

People are very varied in their likes, needs, wants and tolerances.

Susieb2023 · 19/05/2023 07:39

Sorry @Emerald95 i can see where you’re coming from now, I still feel it’s very dodgy.

CheeseTouch · 19/05/2023 07:40

Emerald95 · 19/05/2023 07:29

Have you at any point asked him if he's married?
I think you're jumping the gun massively heretalking about sending pictures to his wife.
For all we know they have an open relationship and he's only marked as single because she doesn't want to swing with random Internet strangers where as he does.
If I were you I'd ask him who else he is having sexual relationships with and take it from there

This is a sensible suggestion

Dibdabble · 19/05/2023 08:06

So if OP tells her and she is already aware what is the issue?

Greenfairydust · 19/05/2023 08:15

You can let her know anonymously.

Yes, there is a small chance that she knows about it and is also a ''swinger'' but it is more likely he is cheating on her and putting her at risk of STIs.

Men like this deserves to be found out.

@RudsyFarmer

''Personally I wouldn’t want to be responsible for blowing a family apart and ruining the childhood of little kids''

The only person responsible here who would be responsible for breaking up a family is the cheating partner.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 19/05/2023 08:17

I would want to know Jo matter how heartbreaking it was

justprance · 19/05/2023 08:19

I would tell her. However, I would tell her face to face, just the two of you. Give her the evidence, say you won't ever mention it to her or anyone else ever again (but if she wants to talk, she knows where you are) and leave it with her.

If she already knows, then she won't be affected.

But she does deserve to know.

AdamRyan · 19/05/2023 08:23

CheeseTouch · 18/05/2023 22:57

It’s quite a big assumption to make that she doesn’t know, or he’s doing it behind her back. People’s sex lives involve all kinds of arrangements that I won’t go into on a parenting forum :)

And you don’t know what’s happening in their relationship, or even if they have one aside from coparenting the children.

Why do people say this. Its a bigger assumption that she does know and is fine with it because she's a cool wife

The simplest explanation is he's a cheating scumbag.

OP I think she deserves to know and if she's not that close of a friend I'd actually print the stuff out and give it to her in person. Otherwise it's too easy for him to play the whole "it was a fantasy but I'd never do anything" card

YoucancallmeKAREN · 19/05/2023 08:39

RudsyFarmer · 18/05/2023 20:53

Oh gosh there’s no right answer to this. Does he know that you know him? Do they have young kids? Personally I wouldn’t want to be responsible for blowing a family apart and ruining the childhood of little kids, so no I wouldn’t do anything. I’d just quietly simmer on
it and hate him from a distance.

Yet you would happily stand back and allow her to possibly be infected with a STI, HIV or Aids ?

justwingingit7 · 19/05/2023 09:11

Please tell her. Yes it will cause shit for them, and she won't thank you for telling her but he shouldn't be getting away with it. I would 100% want to know if my partner was on there, with verifications to prove he's actually met people too! Sickening.

MumLass · 19/05/2023 09:26

Having discovered that my STBXH was doing nasty things behind my back for years, I think you should tell her. I would. I wish someone had told me what was going on. I gave so much of myself to that man, while he was betraying me left right and centre.

DrDavidStarKey · 19/05/2023 09:40

She needs an STI check and for no other reason than that, you need to let her know that if she isn't aware of his activities, she needs to be.

It might be that she knows about this but in the event she doesn't, I think the right thing to do is to tell her or let her know in a way that he cannot come up with a handy denial.

Reminds me of a boss I had years ago before the internet when 'contact magazines' were a thing. Pillar of the community type. Wife and three kids but he was at it daily and fitted it in with his working hours. He must have been riddled.