DH is mad because I'm not well

[Stripyunicorn]

I've been ill with an infection since the weekend. DH was away at the weekend, so I've been ill since he's been home.
He's so grumpy with me.

I had to go back to the doctor's today because I've been on antibiotics but not getting better, and they advised me to go to a&e. When I phoned DH to let him know, I could practically hear his eyes rolling.
He works in the hospital I was told to go to, but he refused to come down to see me before he left. Said he couldn't because he had to get the kids. He gets the baby from nursery every day, and it's open 1.5h later than when he normally picks them up so I don't see why he couldn't have come over for 5-10 minutes just to check I'm ok.

He's now having a strop because I've had some blood tests and the results won't be back until half 5, so I won't be home until 6pm at the very earliest.

My dh is a dick when I'm ill. He says it's because I have an attitude 🙄 really he resents me because he has to do extra when I'm ill

@Battlecat98 he isn't good with vomit because the smell makes him sick too but otherwise he's alright.
Eldest was in hospital a few months ago and he was there most of the time, just kept swapping between the ward and his department.

I'm assuming when I eventually get home he will either have got himself a takeaway or he will refuse to eat because it's too late for him.
I asked him to cook dinner last night because I felt so ill but he just said I'm a better cook than him and sat down watching TV and playing on his phone.

He's not spoken to me for 2.5h now so he has no idea what's going on here or where I'm up to. You guys know more than him.

I'm so sorry he's being such a childish moron when you are ill and need looking after. I hope you don't need surgery and you're able to go home soon. Big un-Mumsnetty hug for you 💐

He’s abusive
Its awful he’s not asked after you
you’re his wife and children’s mother for gods sake his behaviour is very strange?!?

I would find this behaviour very disappointing. I'm sorry OP. It's the exact opposite of what you want when you're ill.

Your husband is an uncaring twat

I've finally had a message from him. "So are you actually any closer to coming home yet then".
He doesn't give a shit does he.

Stop perpetuating the myth that men who are behaved appallingly are behaving like that because they are worried about their wives.

This man walked past the room she was in and didn't even stop to see if she was okay.

Last night, he didn't cook dinner, even though she was ill. He hasn't messaged her to see how she is. He thinks his own illness a while ago was worse and so she doesn't deserve any attention now.

This is not the sign of a worried man.

Please please prioritise your health and don't let this awful man prevent you from accessing the care you need.

Can you and your dc go to your mum's for a bit when you come out? You could do without going home to someone so cold.

Sending you lots of Unmumsnetty hugs. Not something I would normally do. But you deserve much better than that absolute waste of space.

Once you're sorted out OP I'd be going home and giving him both barrels , selfish bastard.

Surgeons have just seen me and said I can have some stronger medicines and go home. I've got a number for their clinic so I can book to come back if I don't get any better in the next couple of days.

My parents are at the opposite end of the country @Newyeardietstartstomorrow so not an option unfortunately.

What a vile, uncaring, selfish idiot of a man.

You deserve better. Don't rush to respond to him. He's taken hours to contact you and even then it's an a huffy, offhand, accusing way, and not actually asking how you are or showing any concern.

What an utter knob end. Sorry OP.

Hey, not perpetuating anything, it is what I have seen in my professional career, I am more than aware that husbands and wives can be uncaring when someone is ill, as, suddenly they are not in the spotlight or they have to pick up the slack. I have seen by ops recent posts that he clearly falls into the latter.

He's an arsehole. If not be able to not ask why he was behaving like this. Ask him straight out and see what he says. Hope you feel better soon. You shouldn't have to deal with his shitey attitude. Also next time he refuses to eatbor help you with dinner, get yourself a takeaway and leave him to sulk.

Go home and care of yourself. I hope the stronger meds do the trick 💐

But think very seriously about whether you really want to stay with such a cold, uncaring man.

This was my ex.
Don’t waste 20 years like I did.

It blows my mind that anyone could treat their other half like this. How could anyone be such an unfeeling arsehole? He wouldn't even cook dinner last night and can't be arsed to send you a text message or pop in to see you - AT THE PLACE HE WORKS. I think you know the answer to the resolution to this.
I hope you feel better soon OP

It's time to rethink this relationship. It's a wake up call. You don't deserve this.

“I asked him to cook dinner last night because I felt so ill but he just said I'm a better cook than him and sat down watching TV and playing on his phone.”

Double twat

Thissssss. I was sick at home earlier in the week and ex-DH texted me to say be sure to tell him if I needed anything or if he should come and get our children. He knows that I almost certainly won’t need any help, but I also know that he’ll be there for me if I need it.
And that’s my ex! I’m struggling to see how your so-called partner, your lover, could justify his behaviour to himself (or anyone). I assure you you deserve better than this.

The amount of women on this board that put up with partners treating them like dirt when they are sick is shocking!

Not even when they are ill, just in general. I'm shocked at the volume of posts about awful men in relationships. Why do women put up with it?

I'm happily divorced. Got through bringing up DS alone. He's an adult now and life is fabulous!

OP, I hope you get better and out of hospital really soon.