Found a pregnancy test....

[Dad2cats]

OK, so not sure what to do here. My wife and I have been together for over 10 years, married for 5. Last week I opened her bedside drawer looking for some antihistamines and at the back found a 2 pack of pregnancy tests, with one missing, assume used. I should also mention that I had a vasectomy over 15 years ago and whilst our sex life may not be the whirlwind it was when we were younger, we still average 1-2 times a week.
We don't have kids, none of her girlfriends live close by and whilst I keep telling myself there must be an innocent explanation, I'm really struggling to find one.
It's eating me up inside and whilst I know I should simply ask her, I'm worried that whatever she says will either "make it true" or I won't believe her and then it's "out" and I don't know how we come back from that.
I'm also thinking of the wider implications, we're in (what I thought was) a trusting relationship and so haven't used protection since shortly after we got together. Now all I can think is was this a one off? Is it a regular thing? Is she having regular unprotected sex with someone else? Doesn't that also put me at risk from STIs?
Not sure where to turn, can't really speak to friends or family, what do I do?

You can still get pregnant after sleeping with a guy that’s had a vasectomy, particularly if the procedure was done a long time ago, although the chances are very slim. She could have had pregnant symptoms and just wanted to check. Or, she could have slept with someone else. You won’t know until you speak to her but if she has cheated she’s unlikely to be honest about it. Personally I would try and check her phone before speaking to her about it to see if there is any evidence of cheating.

I would assume her period was just late and she thought she should check just in case (people have got pregnant after vasectomies!)

Totally agree, you obviously don’t think very highly of your wife if your first thought was an affair!

I think you are way overthinking this and jumping to conclusions. My guess is that your wife has had some symptoms of pregnancy that have freaked her out, and she's probably read or heard from a friend that vasectomies are not 100%, and had a moment of panic and bought a test. My husband has not had a vasectomy but we are very much beyond the point in life where we would be wanting a pregnancy - and I also have a box of pregnancy tests in the bedside table due to a panic moment when all signs pointed to a very unlikely pregnancy. I'm sure most women do.

On a really realistic level, if your wife was cheating on you (which is what you are alluding to), it's very unlikely that knowing you have had a vasectomy, she would buy pregnancy tests and store them in the bedside table where you could find them. Any sensible person would buy a single one at the shop and do it in a cafe toilet and chuck it in the bin, not bring the whole box home and leave it pretty much hiding in plain sight. I think you are really jumping to conclusions here unless there are some other serious issues in your relationship that would lead you to believe that.

More than likely, she's had a panic (not unusual especially if she is reaching menopause age) and didn't want to worry you by bringing it up, as she took the test and all was fine.

This!

And please don't check her phone! A woman of fertile age taking a pregnancy test does not warrant that level of invasion of privacy. If you are concerned, just talk to her, but raise it as a genuine concern that you are worried that she might be pregnant in the context of your relationship.

Exactly this op
Vasectomies can fail or reverse over time, slim chance but if her period was late/ she was experiencing pregnancy symptoms it would make sense to take a test, if it was negative I imagine she didn't feel the need to tell you about it.

I’ve done pregnancy tests before despite being on really reliable contraception because of having a late period and pregnancy symptoms. It’s just easier sometimes to do the test then you can stop worrying , even if odds are very low.

My ex partner had a vasectomy but I was late one month with symptoms - I did a test because it can happen.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions and instead speak to her.

Vasectomies are not 100%. Was that not explained to you when you had the procedure?

DH has had a vasectomy, I thought I was pregnant recently and did a test. Didn’t mention it to DH at the time as felt silly and also thought “what if he thinks I cheated?” Which was ridiculous as obviously he is an adult man with an understanding that vasectomies can reverse and he trusts me

I'd say it's perfectly normal for women of childbearing age to have a spare pregnancy test in the back of a drawer, just in case. If you're a few days late it's reassurance even when you're unlikely to be pregnant.

There was a little flurry of stories recently in the "health and well-being" type websites/of social media about vasectomies - how very occasionally the tubes can reconnect etc.

She maybe read them and had a little freak out if her period was a little late or something. Then just done it for reassurance and as it was fine, doesn't want to say.

Or maybe she is shagging around. It happens, obviously. But I'd think on why you thought this about her - is your gut noticing anything "off", any changes in behaviour?

Trying asking her?

I think an alarming number of people do not understand that vasectomies can spontaneously reverse, and that OP is one of these. It's really not widely understood enough.
Also, the whole of the reproductive span of a woman's life is dogged by fear of pregnancy, and as long as there is a chance of it and any possible symptoms - and anything going on in a woman's body can be symptoms of pregnancy pretty much - the anxiety of a possible pregnancy will occur. And very few men have anything like an understanding of how much this dominates women's lives.
Hence jumping to affair.
I hope OP is reading and feeling informed, but not shamed. It is what it is.

After I was sterilised, and though I wasn't seeing anyone, I ended up testing several times because of really worrying symptoms - late periods, nausea, breast tenderness, food aversions etc. I knew it wasn't feasible but I became paranoid. So I tested. She's probably going through some symptoms.

Thanks for the replies so far.
Possibly more detail than most would want to know but in the interests of completeness, at the time of having it done, I was given 2 choices, simple snip (just cut the tube, cauterize and sew it closed), or snip & fold (as per previous but the the tubes are folded back on themselves and sewn in that position - a bit like folding over a flexi straw and stapling in place) - not official terminology, just how I remember it. I was told that the effectiveness of the "standard" option was extremely high but also left the possibility to have it surgically reversed at a later date if i changed my mind, the second option was not reversible surgically or otherwise as the tubes reversed on themselves would be shortened eventually fuse with the scarring facing back on itself.
Worth noting that my wife is fully aware of the above as we discussed at length some years ago.
So I'm still stuck with that one, if she genuinely thought that my vasectomy might have failed, why would she not say anything and why would she continue to have unprotected sex with me?
In terms of going through her phone however, I'm not that guy so no, I won't be doing that.
@AlanJohnsonsBeemer - thank you, this is the angle I hadn't been able to see, hopefully you're right :)
@mindutopia - you're probably also right and I'm jumping to conclusions (more a reflection of me than of her)
I guess the question now is, how on earth do I broach the subject? :|

If I were having an affair and needed to take a pregnancy test, I would not leave any evidence in my bedside table. It would be out of the house before you could blink.

If my period didn't come, irrespective of our use of contraception (or even vasectomy) I'd take a test.

Sure, she might be having an affair, but there are other logical explanations.

ps I'm not having an affair.

Looking at her phone is not to be recommended although I understand why some partners resort to that. It offers any easy route to evidence but folks who spy through key holes never see anything good and you’d have to be able to deal with the horror of that.

Communication is key. It will be better to ask her because yes, as everyone is telling you, she might have had a hormonal issue (period late, tender breasts, headachy) and for her peace of mind, decided to do a test. Yes, vasectomies can fail so best to ask.

I hope all turns out well.

The bedside drawer…..I don’t think she would leave it there if she was having an affair, it would be better hidden than that, although people do make mistakes like that and then that’s how they are caught so you never know?

well with my wife id say.."hi wife, I was looking for antihistamines and saw you had some pregnancy tests in your drawer. how come you have these, has there been a pregnancy scare?"

Dh have a belt and braces approach to contraception, but if my period is late I'll always test first as reassurance. The sooner you know of an unwanted pregnancy the better. Plus, if you need to then see a GP about lack of periods they will always ask if you could be pregnant. For women it's just like measuring our temperature or blood pressure - a completely acceptable home check for symptoms.

I think you are jumping to conclusions. It's not impossible to get pregnant after sleeping with somebody that's had a vasectomy, she was probably just late and wanted to be sure.

Do you have to "broach the subject" or can you just leave her in charge of her own reproductive cycle?

I've done pregnancy tests even when I've not had sex in a couple of months if my period is late. The paranoia of a late period is really something else.

Moving onto how to broach the subject, you tell her the simple truth. You were looking for antihistamines and found the test.
Alternatively, you rifle in the drawer when she is in the same room. She’ll probably ask you what you’re looking for but before she does, you look up with test in hand and ask “what’s this?” Her face might reveal a lot.