If you think your partner doesn’t have time for an affair, think again

[toooldforthisshite]

They will find a way. Even the most seemingly gentle, respectable guy, you know, the one who everyone says ‘he would never’. They do.
They will invite their side bit to their work during work hours if necessary to avoid having to make excuses as to why they are late home. They will wait for you to fall asleep then start chatting to her. They will delete every message they receive or send.

@toooldforthisshite have you cheated?

I'm really sorry you're going through this but not all men will cheat, even if the opportunity arises some will still say no.

I think the vast majority aren't "waiting for an chance to fuck someone else".

I think everyone will do it given the right circumstances. An opportunity/attraction during a particularly stressful time at work whilst also dealing with a bereavement and a partner who is dealing with their own problems, whose AP has time to offer comfort, for example.

That's just not true.

My husband has just left me for another much younger woman, after an emotional affair. I caught it in the early days so they hadn't had sex yet, plus he's impotent so really don't know how long that's going to last. However I don't believe every man or woman would do it. I've had opportunity in the past 25 years but shut them down at source, because I just don't have it in me to cheat. Husband, however is underhand, deceitful and sly, because he does have it in him. He thought he was cleverly hiding it but his attitude to me changed and I picked up on that immediately. It turns out, I picked up on it the very day they sent message 1, I'm a witch! The lies he told over the ensuing weeks just dug a deeper and deeper hole.

@Spookysnake Yep, they just don’t know about it.

people want to live in ignorance and naivety but be real too.

My ex found an ex on Facebook and met up with her when he was visiting his Mum in London - whilst I stayed at home working in Norfolk in the lovely house we’d just purchased together. He was actually staying with his Mum - so I didn’t suspect anything as she and I were quite close and we’d chat etc - but then he’d sneak out and see the ex. He upped and left and I literally didn’t see or hear from him again except when I got him to sign the divorce papers I sent to his Mums!

I agree opportunity alone wouldn't be enough to make everyone (most people?) cheat, but opportunity isn't the only factor.

This was my husband. We always joked that he'd never have an affair because he's too busy.

Turns out he could find the time of he really wanted, even if it meant his business tanked as a result.

I'm far more jaded about men now, but I do recognise that it's because of my own experience and not because all men are at it.

When my ex-h cheated that was exactly what everyone we knew said. He was the last person they would ever have imagined doing that.

I agree opportunity alone wouldn't be enough to make everyone (most people?) cheat, but opportunity isn't the only factor.

But that's exactly what some people are saying ... that given an opportunity people will cheat.

Believe it or not, some people just won't. No matter the circumstances or opportunity. Lots will of course, but not everyone.

This thread is depressing.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time but not all men or women would cheat.

When I hear people saying that their other half would never cheat, I must admit I do think that they are being somewhat naive.

I think everyone can. Just opportunity won't be enough, most people can/would say no when life is going well. But when the "romance" is the only good thing or an escape in an otherwise difficult life, work stress/bereavement/trauma/ill health/strained relationship in any combination, for you and your partner and AP, it's a very different story.

Life turns on one poor decision made under stress. Everyone's done that. Sometimes it will be a bad financial decision, sometimes it will be an affair, but I really do believe it can happen to anyone.

Yeah they do, (mine did with a woman 20 years older than him)! I personally would not cheat because I don’t want someone else’s other half. A liar , a cheat , untrustworthy, yuk no thanks. There is not many single men my age and if they are they have baggage, nah cannot be arsed!

I think it's really sad to be in a relationship where you don't have absolute trust .... and I say that as someone who has been cheated on.
I refuse to live my life expecting my partner to cheat on me.

Mostly agree, it's not opportunity alone, a combination of circumstances and stressors mean noone is completely immune. Some are more immune than others though

This is the most ridiculous thread. Stupid, incorrect, bitter, anger-ridden.
I don't appreciate being told I would 100% cheat given the 'right set of circumstances'. I think I know myself, my moral compass and my strength not to drop my knickers just because someonr smiled at me while I was going through a difficult period in my life. I also don't appreciate being told I'm naive.
And BTW, 100% high percentage is not a thing.
100% is all the percentage. A high percentage is something high but most probably less than 100% 🤔

I'm not sure if you're agreeing with the '100% everyone will cheat' statement but then saying you wouldn't personally cheat ever. Thats a very contradictory statement. Or do you mean You just wouldn't cheat because you don't know any attractive, attached people who interests you enough to fuck behind their partner's bavk, or you wouldn't because you don't believe in hurting people or you don't because you couldn't be arsed?

Lots of men cheat and lots of women cheat. Lots don’t. I’m sorry for whatever you have been through but that doesn’t mean you can make generalisations about half the population.

I didn’t really manage to get closure. He was 25 years older than me and a narcissist and ghosted me accusing me of affairs when it was him. Just getting on with life and finding myself again at 47. And having fun.

Could exchange the word cheat with murder. I mean where does it end?

Like Minority Report where you get arrested before you do the crime.

Yes under certain circumstances, which will be different for different people, any human is capable of almost anything a human can do.

But that's a broad spectrum eh!

Laughing at this. No they arent all the same, sorry you were clearly disappointed by men but your message is just crap really.

I don't think most people would get anything out of murder? It surely doesn't meet a need for most people in the way that sex does.