Page 16 | Husband been on a stag do in Marbella and a random girl has messaged me……

Mumma2Ro · 2023-05-06T20:42:03+00:00

Some fake account has messaged me on instagram. to tell me my husband paid for a prostitute when on a recent stag do in Marbella! what the fuck do I do!?!!!!!???

Lotus717 · 07/05/2023 17:15

OP, I would imagine that the person who has messaged you is also intending to message the wife of the other man on the stag who slept with the random girl.
I think without doubt it it is a wife/ girlfriend of one of the men on the stag who has come home and told her the ‘gossip’ about who misbehaved. I would assume the other cheating person’s wife has been contacted as well. Do you know her well enough to contact her to find out if she has received a similar insta message?

RepublicanBecca · 07/05/2023 17:17

Stravaig · 07/05/2023 15:33

Let's focus on immediate practicalities.

You need to have an STI test, just to be safe. Trust, but verify. Then you need to ensure you only ever have protected sex with him, unless and until he gets checked himself, and shows you clean results. You'll have to repeat the tests after a certain interval too, as some diseases won't show up right away.

So you need to have a conversation with him about sexual exposure, honesty, and whether he has in fact endangered your health. This is a good opportunity to gauge his integrity and responsibility versus deflection and gaslighting.

Even if this unknown person is making things up, you still need to pull together as a team in response, protect yourselves and each other, and get the tests done. You to be safe, him to reassure you. You should both understand that.

Irrespective of whether or not you believe him.

Don't prostitutes insist on protection these days?

ThankmelaterOkay · 07/05/2023 17:20

Are these lads the types who would have a pint in the airport at 7am, put their hands in together, and look each other in the eyes, and say “Bro’s before ho’s”?

If yes, the code hath been broken.

RepublicanBecca · 07/05/2023 17:21

Spookysnake · 07/05/2023 16:28

Any sex worker will tell you there isn't a "type" of man who has sex with them. Most wives have NO idea their husbands use prostitutes. Your husband's reaction is suspicious.

Because they think it "doesn't count" and that noone's going to find out.

Lotus717 · 07/05/2023 17:25

OP, you really believe that a random girl on holiday in Marbella meets and has a casual chat with some guys at the bar. Manages to get and retain names and contact information for all relevant people involved. Gets home from holiday, unpacks her suitcase and then decides to set up an Instagram account to message the wife of some bloke she has never met on the basis of hearsay from a bloke she has never met before while stood at a bar on holiday?!
I mean, really really think about that.
It is the wife of one of one of your husbands friends.
Your husband believes it is the wife of the friend who was supposedly chatting to the girls at the bar that has contacted you and he is going to contact him to make sure that she doesn’t contact you again.

Ginnybaby · 07/05/2023 17:32

Lotus717 · 07/05/2023 17:25

OP, you really believe that a random girl on holiday in Marbella meets and has a casual chat with some guys at the bar. Manages to get and retain names and contact information for all relevant people involved. Gets home from holiday, unpacks her suitcase and then decides to set up an Instagram account to message the wife of some bloke she has never met on the basis of hearsay from a bloke she has never met before while stood at a bar on holiday?!
I mean, really really think about that.
It is the wife of one of one of your husbands friends.
Your husband believes it is the wife of the friend who was supposedly chatting to the girls at the bar that has contacted you and he is going to contact him to make sure that she doesn’t contact you again.

No of course she doesn’t believe it. But she’s said end of story, she won’t investigate further and she’s blocked the woman

she doesn’t want to know, she doesn’t wish to deal with it, so she’s going to take this route

someone has got her very wrong, someone thinks she’d want to know, that person now knows that’s bullshit and she doesn’t.

Dalekjastninerels · 07/05/2023 17:38

Reading this is making me hate men and how gross and sleazy they are. If my husband was doing this I would be furious and not want him to ever touch me again if he was fucking hookers! I would feel defiled and violated and never trust him again.

ONS are as far as I have gone; no way would I have an LTR with a male- they cannot be trusted.

SweetSakura · 07/05/2023 17:40

I hope you at least get an STD test @Mumma2Ro

slowquickstep · 07/05/2023 17:55

Neurodiversitydoctor · 07/05/2023 16:27

When she goes out in the UK it tends to be with boys her own age to maybe 2-3 years above not 40yo men.

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But she wasn't in the U.K, she was in a club in Spain that would be full drunk blokes on stag do's no doubt. Off course they would treat the place like a free for all

Staplesonstamps · 07/05/2023 17:58

My husband dod wide eyed innocence of any misbehaviour at a stag do. Till I told him I had evidence, then he admitted it. If I hadn’t been able to convince him there was evidence he would have maintained nothing happened and gone down the “do you think so little of me” gaslighting bullshit.

It was his mate who told me, and then swore me to secrecy about who had told me, so made out I knew another way.

Your DH is going to be trying to work out which of his mates wives got told about his behaviour and get said mate to shut his wife up pronto.

You choose to “believe him” and that’s your choice but his story has more holes than a colander. Get the STI test.

TimesRwo · 07/05/2023 18:00

Neurodiversitydoctor · 07/05/2023 16:24

Take it from me it was not an exclusive nightclub.

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I don’t get your point then? It’s not really surprising that the nightclub scene is full of perverts.

Humanbiology · 07/05/2023 18:04

Mumma2Ro · 07/05/2023 11:34

Sorry it took me ages to catch up on all of the replies!
so I confronted hubby this morning…… I said to him someone messaged me on instagram saying ‘I’ve got Information about what your husband got up to in Marbella’.
he was like sorry, what ?
his reaction was genuine- and I believe him when he says it’s not true. He said you really think that little of me to believe I would sleep with a prostitute!
he said maybe one of his mates did meet these girls while they were out there, and maybe one of the guys said it as a joke ‘oh yea that big one has paid for a prostitute, the blonde one has shagged someone out here and cheated on his wife bla bla bla’
but he says it 100% is not true. None of it.
he is going to speak to the said friend who supposedly had a conversation with these girls…. My hubby isn’t happy about this. And I know him, and I believe him.
I’ve blocked the instagram account and deleted the message. I asked for more information and if she had any real evidence ….. and she didn’t
thank you for all your replies
I’m sure there’s some comments coming about how I’m silly for believing him!

His response is telling how confident is he around women and would he pay? If there is a red light district then it wouldn't surprise me.

Nocutenamesleft · 07/05/2023 18:04

Errr. Of course she wouldn’t hAve any actual evidence. You thinks he’d send her a video of the event? Or she’d record the whole conversation just for blackmail

give your head a wobble😂😂😂

MoggyMittens23 · 07/05/2023 18:04

Spookysnake · 07/05/2023 16:28

Any sex worker will tell you there isn't a "type" of man who has sex with them. Most wives have NO idea their husbands use prostitutes. Your husband's reaction is suspicious.

Agree completely. Or sex lines, or porn, or are just cheating. There is no type. Loving fathers and grandads, they are at it just as much as young single “lads”

Dalekjastninerels · 07/05/2023 18:10

MoggyMittens23 · 07/05/2023 18:04

Agree completely. Or sex lines, or porn, or are just cheating. There is no type. Loving fathers and grandads, they are at it just as much as young single “lads”

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OP

One word: Divorce

Once done exterminate that sleazy pervert from your thoughts; he is taking the piss!

Humanbiology · 07/05/2023 18:11

Mumma2Ro · 07/05/2023 14:02

Yes he has said the words No it is not true and no I did not sleep with a prostitute or anyone else.
I believe him so end of story. Thanks for all of you who are concerned.
for the person who said they don’t know why I bothered posting if I’m not going to investigate it….. I posted for advice and opinions. All of which I have read and all of which I have taken on board. Thank you x

Men take longer than women to mature he obviously has unfinished business. You believe him for the sake of your family and he knows that. Will you feel comfortable with him going away again?

Florenz · 07/05/2023 18:16

It doesn't really matter what he has done. You can't be married to someone you suspect of using prostitutes and constantly having to do detective work to confirm whether he has or not.

SweetSakura · 07/05/2023 18:19

slowquickstep · 07/05/2023 17:55

But she wasn't in the U.K, she was in a club in Spain that would be full drunk blokes on stag do's no doubt. Off course they would treat the place like a free for all

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Your blaming the teen for existing not the men for failing to exercise self restraint? Nice.

SweetSakura · 07/05/2023 18:19

*you're

3BSHKATS · 07/05/2023 18:20

MoggyMittens23 · 07/05/2023 18:04

Agree completely. Or sex lines, or porn, or are just cheating. There is no type. Loving fathers and grandads, they are at it just as much as young single “lads”

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Well if they are all at it and I agree btw, then what's the point in even pretending life long commitment to sex with one person is a possibility.
I knew my ex had cheated, I got the person and the place wrong but I knew in my bones it was happening. I ignored it until the lies came untangled and were "in my face" and that's when I blew my top. I actually didn't give a shit who he stuck his dick in if I'm honest, but lying to my face was a step too far.
The OP is dropping the matter, it might go away, it might not.

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 07/05/2023 18:22

I believe him so end of story

Oh mate… 🫢

Neurodiversitydoctor · 07/05/2023 18:23

slowquickstep · 07/05/2023 17:55

But she wasn't in the U.K, she was in a club in Spain that would be full drunk blokes on stag do's no doubt. Off course they would treat the place like a free for all

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Look this is going totally off topic. My point was Marbella has plenty of less than salubrious establishments. It was fine she was fine her 2 male cousins and their mates looked out for her. But yes it was the sort place I can imagine this stuff might happen.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 07/05/2023 18:24

Too the "surely not in Marbella" posters

Cosycover · 07/05/2023 18:24

Wow. What a fool you are.

itwasntmetho · 07/05/2023 18:31

Cosycover · 07/05/2023 18:24

Wow. What a fool you are.

That's kind of nasty, this is someones life.

I mean I don't believe him either but y'know we all have wanted to burry our heads before not everyone springs into action instantly.