Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband been on a stag do in Marbella and a random girl has messaged me……

500 replies

Mumma2Ro · 06/05/2023 21:42

Some fake account has messaged me on instagram.
to tell me my husband paid for a prostitute when on a recent stag do in Marbella!
what the fuck do I do!?!!!!!???

OP posts:
Greenfairydust · 07/05/2023 18:33

''@Lotus717
OP, you really believe that a random girl on holiday in Marbella meets and has a casual chat with some guys at the bar. Manages to get and retain names and contact information for all relevant people involved. Gets home from holiday, unpacks her suitcase and then decides to set up an Instagram account to message the wife of some bloke she has never met on the basis of hearsay from a bloke she has never met before while stood at a bar on holiday?!
I mean, really really think about that.''

This.

The OP has chosen to turn a blind eye.

Unfortunately it is just a licence for the guy to do it again because he knows that he has got away with it.

Her partner has shown himself to be a manipulative liars who think women can be bought for sex.

All very sad.

Rainydaysgetmedown · 07/05/2023 18:34

VivatVaginaCamilla · 06/05/2023 22:55

The kind of man who would go to a stag do in Marbella is the kind of man who'd have sex with a prostitute (or a random woman) and hope he'd get away with it.

Sleazy as fuck.

Or go there to play as many rounds of golf as he can with his mates which is a big pull.

Humanbiology · 07/05/2023 18:38

"Or go there to play as many rounds of golf as he can with his mates which is a big pull."

That's what they all say 😂

Greenfairydust · 07/05/2023 18:39

''@PumpkinsAndCoconuts Today 16:54
She needs to get her husband tested. Not herself.''

One of the stupidest comments on this thread.

Of course she needs an STI test if her husband has been sleeping with prostitutes as he could have passed on something to her ...

Surely you can't be that ignorant?

Rainydaysgetmedown · 07/05/2023 18:41

Humanbiology · 07/05/2023 18:38

"Or go there to play as many rounds of golf as he can with his mates which is a big pull."

That's what they all say 😂

No, I tend to get the full photo montage and an hourly update which continues for the next 3 months with discussion of best course, best weather, best shot and who played which best. Not interesting that you can easily do 27 holes in a day when you’ve got one of those trolley things. Fascinating

readbooksdrinktea · 07/05/2023 18:47

I believe him so end of story

And I bet he knows that and will continue to do whatever he wants whenever and with whomever he desires. Good luck with it.

EasterBreak · 07/05/2023 18:54

Sounds like someone on the stag do has a conscience.

Bluemat · 07/05/2023 18:56

I'm sorry OP I know you don't want to hear it but I wouldnt believe a word he's said to you.
He said "maybe" it's one of his friends, "maybe" it's something to do with them.

I call BS I'm afraid, this comes from someone who had a cheating ex who even when confronted with evidence still tried to make me believe it wasn't him. Took me a while but I soon realised he was spinning me a yarn

OrangeAndFizz · 07/05/2023 18:59

Either he did the deed and someone's grassed him up or he did nothing wrong and someone's stirring.

I wouldn't try snooping round for the truth; just show him the message and ask him what's going on.

Not 'Did you do this?' or 'Who's making things up?' but exactly, 'What's going on?'
That covers everything and he can take it from there.

ThankmelaterOkay · 07/05/2023 18:59

Rainydaysgetmedown · 07/05/2023 18:41

No, I tend to get the full photo montage and an hourly update which continues for the next 3 months with discussion of best course, best weather, best shot and who played which best. Not interesting that you can easily do 27 holes in a day when you’ve got one of those trolley things. Fascinating

Golf nerd, or mega cover up. Pick one.

ThankmelaterOkay · 07/05/2023 19:00

I honestly don’t get why stag parties don’t sign NDAs.

TimesRwo · 07/05/2023 19:11

Neurodiversitydoctor · 07/05/2023 18:23

Look this is going totally off topic. My point was Marbella has plenty of less than salubrious establishments. It was fine she was fine her 2 male cousins and their mates looked out for her. But yes it was the sort place I can imagine this stuff might happen.

Mayfair and Knightsbridge have less than salubrious establishments. The point is you need to know where to go to avoid ending up in such places.

Frith2013 · 07/05/2023 19:14

He's quite the gaslighter.

dontmakefun · 07/05/2023 19:18

I think you're wrong to block the account.

They may have more info for you, although I doubt you want to hear it! X

booboo24 · 07/05/2023 19:21

I can understand why you want to believe him, but I'd unblock the account for now, they'll either trip up if it's a hoax, say nothing more in which case you're no worse off than you are now, OR they'll give you the answers you need (but possibly aren't ready to hear). I hope it is a mix up, I really do, bit I think this will haunt you if you leave it as it is

HoleyShit · 07/05/2023 19:24

I definitely wouldn't have blocked the account. I'd press for more info before readily believing him.

Hyppogriff · 07/05/2023 20:05

Sorry but it still seems kind of odd…
no smoke without fire …

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 07/05/2023 20:06

He probably seemed so unphased when you questioned him because he knows damn well he can make you believe anything and he’s a relaxed and accomplished liar as a result.

Flyinggeesei234 · 07/05/2023 20:10

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 07/05/2023 20:06

He probably seemed so unphased when you questioned him because he knows damn well he can make you believe anything and he’s a relaxed and accomplished liar as a result.

How am you possibly know this?

(It’s ‘unfazed’ by the way).

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 07/05/2023 20:46

So she should sleep with him, possibly catch an STD (which he may have picked up on the stag do) and then get herself tested?

Instead of insisting that her husband gets tested (preferably now and then again in about 3 months)?

rowanoak · 07/05/2023 20:48

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 06/05/2023 21:43

How precise were the details? How would this person know your name?

Sounds like a hoax to me.

Definitely not a hoax, who would waste time doing this as a hoax? That makes no sense.

MondayYogurt · 07/05/2023 20:49

Bet he’s extra nice for a while.

rowanoak · 07/05/2023 20:49

Mumma2Ro · 06/05/2023 21:57

Exactly! How would she know my name and find me on instagram?? I’m not sure what to do and if I believe it. But then why would someone make this up ??

Oh come on, stop being in purposeful denial. Wake up! Your husband sucks. Dump that loser because you deserve better.

Ontime · 07/05/2023 20:52

I suspected my ex was up to no good. I demanded sight of his bank statements and he caved and confessed he had been with a prostitute. Our 9 year relationship went down the pan in an instant. My brother threw him out. I know they can pay cash but some do bank transfers too. If you both have separate bank accounts I'd be demanding his bank statements at least if I was you. I have also had to have sti checks at the hospital. I have to go once a month for 3 months for hepatitis b checks aswell and HIV checks. My last test will be August for a final HIV check. Ive never had so many blood tests done and hate him for what he has put me through. It's awful but you have to put your health first.

Habreathmint · 07/05/2023 20:54

Good luck but he's a cheating arsehole and will do it again. Get an sti test.

Swipe left for the next trending thread