Page 18 | Husband been on a stag do in Marbella and a random girl has messaged me……

Mumma2Ro · 2023-05-06T20:42:03+00:00

Some fake account has messaged me on instagram. to tell me my husband paid for a prostitute when on a recent stag do in Marbella! what the fuck do I do!?!!!!!???

ThankmelaterOkay · 07/05/2023 20:56

I’d give him enough rope.

Say you’ve spoken with one his friends/accomplices. That you know everything. It’s broken your heart but you have decided to look past it.

See what happens.

draxdomax · 07/05/2023 20:59

Since my sexuality is similar to a man's and some girls here could clearly use a clue, let me clarify some things for you:

Saying "I am going to Amsterdam/Bangkok/Marbella" is like 70% of saying "I am going to a brothel".

Good men - and they exist, I swear! Just won't go, even if they can fully control themselves.
They just won't agree to put their girl on that kind of stress ("is an underage girl shooting ping pong balls from her vagina into his drink right now?", etc...)

The only silver lining here is that, while he cheated on her, it wasn't a home-breaking kind of cheating.
He just "aired out" his dick.
He probably regretted it the moment he came.
He probably came back home, feeling refreshed and appreciative of his wife and he's probably not going to do that again for a year or two.

Honestly, if your man plans on going to a sex tourism city, you can dump him before he's even flown over there.
Or use the time he isn't at home to move his stuff to a storage unit.

Motherofalittledragon · 07/05/2023 21:02

fortheloveofflowers · 06/05/2023 22:26

A staggering amount of men will use a prostitute, even those that you think are sweet.
I’ve served in the forces and it’s amazing how many men do it.

I agree, an exbf is in the forces and he used sex workers in almost every country he went to, he very quickly became an ex!

Isthisexpected · 07/05/2023 21:03

There’s never going to be a man that sleeps with a prostitute that says to his wife oh yes I did that actually, he’s going to say do you really think that little of me.

^ this is so true. It must be extremely rare, given there was no proof which he knew from what OP told him, for a man in his shoes to admit something they know they have got away with if they just deny and deflect.

rowanoak · 07/05/2023 21:03

Mumma2Ro · 07/05/2023 11:34

Sorry it took me ages to catch up on all of the replies!
so I confronted hubby this morning…… I said to him someone messaged me on instagram saying ‘I’ve got Information about what your husband got up to in Marbella’.
he was like sorry, what ?
his reaction was genuine- and I believe him when he says it’s not true. He said you really think that little of me to believe I would sleep with a prostitute!
he said maybe one of his mates did meet these girls while they were out there, and maybe one of the guys said it as a joke ‘oh yea that big one has paid for a prostitute, the blonde one has shagged someone out here and cheated on his wife bla bla bla’
but he says it 100% is not true. None of it.
he is going to speak to the said friend who supposedly had a conversation with these girls…. My hubby isn’t happy about this. And I know him, and I believe him.
I’ve blocked the instagram account and deleted the message. I asked for more information and if she had any real evidence ….. and she didn’t
thank you for all your replies
I’m sure there’s some comments coming about how I’m silly for believing him!

Well at least you know we think you're silly for believing him. Go ahead and block me too since you don't want to know the truth. Get ready for lots more messages down the line trying to warn you of things you don't want to know about your husband.

Sailingaround · 07/05/2023 21:04

Ontime · 07/05/2023 20:52

I suspected my ex was up to no good. I demanded sight of his bank statements and he caved and confessed he had been with a prostitute. Our 9 year relationship went down the pan in an instant. My brother threw him out. I know they can pay cash but some do bank transfers too. If you both have separate bank accounts I'd be demanding his bank statements at least if I was you. I have also had to have sti checks at the hospital. I have to go once a month for 3 months for hepatitis b checks aswell and HIV checks. My last test will be August for a final HIV check. Ive never had so many blood tests done and hate him for what he has put me through. It's awful but you have to put your health first.

That’s horrific. Hope your final tests go alright.

For the ones (like OP) who stick their head in the sand stories like these show that cheating is never something to be ignored. If a man ever cheated on me it’s bad enough but I’d hope the bare minimum he could do is use protection and not be doing it with a sex worker. It’s just so vile to put your partners life at risk like this.

rowanoak · 07/05/2023 21:06

Sugarfree23 · 07/05/2023 12:31

Wither he is lying, or someone is shit stiring is it really worth bearing grudges and destroying a happy relationship over?

Umm yes. If he's lying about cheating on her (which he clearly is) then it certainly is worth destroying a relationship over and it clearly wasn't that happy to begin with.

RepublicanBecca · 07/05/2023 21:09

ThankmelaterOkay · 07/05/2023 20:56

I’d give him enough rope.

Say you’ve spoken with one his friends/accomplices. That you know everything. It’s broken your heart but you have decided to look past it.

See what happens.

Good idea! You have a devious but brilliant mind.

rowanoak · 07/05/2023 21:09

NCMum79 · 07/05/2023 12:47

@TimesRwo your poor mum :( It's quite common i've since realised, to end up the target - sometimes of both the H and W if he manages to talk her round.

Yep.

My dad tried cheating on my mom with my then-friend. I caught them in the act and told my dad he'd better tell my mom or I would. He told her and she blamed me. Said I tried to set him up with my friend (yuck) and that it was my fault and that she was mad at me.

I don't have anything to do with either of them anymore. They can live together miserably in their willful denial.

Women like that are weak and spineless and men like that are the worst.

OP and her husband probably deserve each other and I just hope they don't have kids!

RepublicanBecca · 07/05/2023 21:13

Rainydaysgetmedown · 07/05/2023 18:41

No, I tend to get the full photo montage and an hourly update which continues for the next 3 months with discussion of best course, best weather, best shot and who played which best. Not interesting that you can easily do 27 holes in a day when you’ve got one of those trolley things. Fascinating

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This post is full of (unintentional) double entendres. Very very funny.

RepublicanBecca · 07/05/2023 21:14

EasterBreak · 07/05/2023 18:54

Sounds like someone on the stag do has a conscience.

Or a grudge.

MoggyMittens23 · 07/05/2023 21:16

3BSHKATS · 07/05/2023 18:20

Well if they are all at it and I agree btw, then what's the point in even pretending life long commitment to sex with one person is a possibility.
I knew my ex had cheated, I got the person and the place wrong but I knew in my bones it was happening. I ignored it until the lies came untangled and were "in my face" and that's when I blew my top. I actually didn't give a shit who he stuck his dick in if I'm honest, but lying to my face was a step too far.
The OP is dropping the matter, it might go away, it might not.

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That's not something I have the answer to. But I know it's not ALL men. I just find it really frustrating when women think their loving DH/dad/grandad couldn't possible be like that. They come in all types, shapes, sizes, classes. It's like, don't be so naive!! a LOT of men lead double lives, whether that's doing something extreme or just chatting on a website with a random/watch some kind of out there porn. Something that if their other half or family knew, they would be shocked and disgusted

rowanoak · 07/05/2023 21:16

rowanoak · 07/05/2023 21:09

Yep.

My dad tried cheating on my mom with my then-friend. I caught them in the act and told my dad he'd better tell my mom or I would. He told her and she blamed me. Said I tried to set him up with my friend (yuck) and that it was my fault and that she was mad at me.

I don't have anything to do with either of them anymore. They can live together miserably in their willful denial.

Women like that are weak and spineless and men like that are the worst.

OP and her husband probably deserve each other and I just hope they don't have kids!

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When I said he "tried to cheat" I meant that I woke up in my hotel bed next to my husband who was also sleeping in the bed on one side of me... and my dad lying on top of my friend kissing her on the other side of me. She had bumped into me while they were smooching and moaning and that's what woke me up!

Obviously I flipped out and stopped being her friend immediately and told my dad to tell my mom because if my husband did this to me I would want to know!

Apparently my mom did not want to know the truth and would rather shoot the messenger. (Me.)

Some women are in purposeful denial no matter what evidence there is or who points it out.

They like to stay with cheating sleazy cads.

Gross.

itwasntmetho · 07/05/2023 21:17

RepublicanBecca · 07/05/2023 21:13

This post is full of (unintentional) double entendres. Very very funny.

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Yeah, I was thinking what kind of holes?

MoggyMittens23 · 07/05/2023 21:17

@rowanoak that's awful. But you are right, they deserve each other

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 07/05/2023 21:21

Greenfairydust · 07/05/2023 18:39

''@PumpkinsAndCoconuts Today 16:54
She needs to get her husband tested. Not herself.''

One of the stupidest comments on this thread.

Of course she needs an STI test if her husband has been sleeping with prostitutes as he could have passed on something to her ...

Surely you can't be that ignorant?

So she should sleep with him, possibly catch an STD (which he may have picked up on the stag do) and then get herself tested?

Instead of insisting that her husband gets tested (preferably now and then again in about 3 months)?

rowanoak · 07/05/2023 21:22

MoggyMittens23 · 07/05/2023 21:17

@rowanoak that's awful. But you are right, they deserve each other

Yep.

That was nearly 10 years ago, the night before my daughter's funeral, when they were in town visiting me for it.

I knew there was a reason I'd moved 2,000 miles away from them and that their visits always filled me with anxiety but I honestly didn't know it would get THAT bad!!

They just love drama and chaos. And they love to complain about it but never do anything to change it.

I have no idea how I came from such purposefully miserable stock but I have left them behind and found happiness. :)

rowanoak · 07/05/2023 21:25

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 07/05/2023 21:21

So she should sleep with him, possibly catch an STD (which he may have picked up on the stag do) and then get herself tested?

Instead of insisting that her husband gets tested (preferably now and then again in about 3 months)?

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She should make him get tested AND get herself tested. Because this is very little not his first rodeo.

I have a friend with a sleazebag husband who cheats on her every time he travels for work or fun, which is a lot- everyone saw it but she refused to until she went to the doctor and found out she has chlymadia.

Guess what? She's still with him and always will be and admits she can't leave him because he makes a lot of money and she thinks she'd have nothing without him. (Despite being entitled to a lot of alimony and child support due to having been a SAHM for him throughout their entire, long marriage.)

Some women just like to turn a blind eye and stay with cheaters, or come crying to their friends or message boards when they're forced to start looking at the fact that he's a cheater... until they quickly convince themselves or let him convince her that he would never do that, he loves her, he's sorry, whatever. Blah blah blah.

So yes she should definitely assume the worst but hope for the best (without being this naive!!) and take all steps necessary to protect her own health.

ThankmelaterOkay · 07/05/2023 21:26

RepublicanBecca · 07/05/2023 21:09

Good idea! You have a devious but brilliant mind.

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Thank you. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me on the internet.

rowanoak · 07/05/2023 21:36

ThankmelaterOkay · 07/05/2023 21:26

Thank you. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me on the internet.

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LOL.

Yep, OP revealed all her cards and all it took was her husband saying "nope, wasn't me, why would you think it ever could be?!" for her to give up her search.

I would have become Master Detective to figure out as much as I could first before (or instead of) "confronting him" because cheaters lie and it would only tip him off that I knew so he could better hide his tracks.

But I like the way you'd choose to go about it even better. You win Detective of the Year on the Internet this year. :)

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 07/05/2023 21:37

rowanoak · 07/05/2023 21:25

She should make him get tested AND get herself tested. Because this is very little not his first rodeo.

I have a friend with a sleazebag husband who cheats on her every time he travels for work or fun, which is a lot- everyone saw it but she refused to until she went to the doctor and found out she has chlymadia.

Guess what? She's still with him and always will be and admits she can't leave him because he makes a lot of money and she thinks she'd have nothing without him. (Despite being entitled to a lot of alimony and child support due to having been a SAHM for him throughout their entire, long marriage.)

Some women just like to turn a blind eye and stay with cheaters, or come crying to their friends or message boards when they're forced to start looking at the fact that he's a cheater... until they quickly convince themselves or let him convince her that he would never do that, he loves her, he's sorry, whatever. Blah blah blah.

So yes she should definitely assume the worst but hope for the best (without being this naive!!) and take all steps necessary to protect her own health.

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Fair enough, if we assume that this was not a one time thing (whatever may or may not have happened...) she should also get herself tested.

I'm just a tad... irritated by all the "get yourself tested" comments. Getting herself tested will say nothing about whether the husband is currently infectious and whether he will be later (which is why a repeat test in about 3 months is needed). It's also unreliable in regards to any possible recent infections of the OP.

If the OP follows the advice of getting tested (just her/now) she may therefore very well get a wrong sense of safety. Which may have quite devastating consequences... provided that the test is actually negative, obviously. (Which is why I believe that testing the husband is absolutely crucial.)

rowanoak · 07/05/2023 22:01

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 07/05/2023 21:37

Fair enough, if we assume that this was not a one time thing (whatever may or may not have happened...) she should also get herself tested.

I'm just a tad... irritated by all the "get yourself tested" comments. Getting herself tested will say nothing about whether the husband is currently infectious and whether he will be later (which is why a repeat test in about 3 months is needed). It's also unreliable in regards to any possible recent infections of the OP.

If the OP follows the advice of getting tested (just her/now) she may therefore very well get a wrong sense of safety. Which may have quite devastating consequences... provided that the test is actually negative, obviously. (Which is why I believe that testing the husband is absolutely crucial.)

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True.

I agree she should cover all her bases. Get herself tested and make her husband get tested.

If he doesn't want to get tested, that will be very telling...

MoggyMittens23 · 07/05/2023 22:09

@rowanoak I am so sorry about your daughter.

I am so glad you have found happiness away from them. They don't deserve you

Thesharkradar · 07/05/2023 22:15

Say you’ve spoken with one his friends/accomplices. That you know everything. It’s broken your heart but you have decided to look past it
if he's canny he'll still deny it, he has more information than she does, she's given away any advantage she may have had by confronting him in the first place, shoulda kept that powder dry

Violasaremyfavourite · 07/05/2023 22:31

At best your husband has sleazy friends who tell random women in bars that he's married and has sex with prostitutes. A random person who knows not only your husband's name but your name and contact details too.

Presuming you've had sex since his return I'd mention a few symptoms like itchiness and discharge and announce you're making a doctor's appointment. If he doesn't turn pale and blurt out the truth you could discover you simply had a touch of thrush. If he's not cheated he shouldn't be worried.