Husband been on a stag do in Marbella and a random girl has messaged me……

[Mumma2Ro]

Some fake account has messaged me on instagram.
to tell me my husband paid for a prostitute when on a recent stag do in Marbella!
what the fuck do I do!?!!!!!???

Huh? Is that the conclusion you’ve taken?

So what response would you accept from someone actually telling the truth?

I don't think you're wrong to believe him. Identities get mixed up, some people just try to stir shit etc.

I would however still have him get an STI test.

You can phrase it as being worried about him being drugged or something similar. (<= very unlikely in this case but technically possible.)

I would assume that a prostitute would be on PrEP. The risk of HIV probably wouldn't be that high. But there are a lot of other nasty things (plus antibiotic resistant strains) or something as simple as chlamydia, which really shouldn't be left untreated.

Please be aware that infected people are often especially infectious shortly after the exposure. Due to higher initial viral loads etc.

Yeah? He said he didn’t do it?

Tap tap tap. Case closed.

Ultimately it’s your life and if you believe him then you believe him. If he did cheat then it will soon come out at later stage especially if mystery person is someone’s partner from stag doo and they talk to anyone else about. Hopefully the weddings already been so you don’t go their feeling awkward about what your husband may have got up to on the stag doo.

*about it.

• there typing to fast today🤣

They all deny it and act how dare you accuse me of that innocence. He’s hardly going to say yes . Something has happened .

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz , one that didn't have you really think that little of me to believe I would sleep with a prostitute!

Him saying it's not true, ,doesn't mean it's not true.

If you cheated on him, and he confronted you,

would you say to him "yes I cheated on you".

The biggest red flag here is in his tone. ‘Do you think that little of me’. That right there is what gas lighters say.

Most reasonable people accused of something like this would be mortified but understanding of why you are concerned, they would not turn it round to make you the bad person for simply investigating a huge accusation.

I am sorry to say that it sounds like he’s lying, and his response is text book defence mode. Of course it’s up to you what you do next though, we only see things when we are ready.

Him saying it's not true, ,doesn't mean it's not true

And all these posters who have taken on the role of Judge , Jury and Executioner and decided he's guilty , doesn't mean he did it .

Ohh , wait , he's a Penis Bearer .
Face/Palm. Guilty as charged , obvs.

Take it from me it was not an exclusive nightclub.

When she goes out in the UK it tends to be with boys her own age to maybe 2-3 years above not 40yo men.

Any sex worker will tell you there isn't a "type" of man who has sex with them. Most wives have NO idea their husbands use prostitutes. Your husband's reaction is suspicious.

So you believe him then. Strange how you made more than one post stating this.
I wouldn't believe him.

Do you trust your husband? Is this likely to be true? Be wary of ruining your relationship for what could be someone malicious messing with your head.
I imagine you need to do something or it will always be there for you, why not casually show him the message and say look what I got ….and take it from there.
Think carefully through the consequences of every action before you do anything. Even doing nothing has potential consequences…

I think the OP is very, very naive.

I'll ask him if it happened.

If he denies it, then it didn't happen.

Eh no. If you ask a cheater if it happened they will always deny it.

I totally agree with this. His story makes no sense whatsoever.

What a weird thing to say.

I just hope the OP is being more clued up behind the scenes than she’s letting on here and that she will get herself tested.

Did OP mention whether the account was active?

Did it have pictures (several, with the account owner), was followed by a "standard amount" of users (standard for OP's friend group)?

If I was the girlfriend of somebody trying to warn OP I would obviously use a fake account.

But I would not go through the trouble of establishing a fake Insta identity, the account therefore wouldn't have (a multitude) of pictures with "fake me" etc.

(My real account admittedly doesn't have a multitude of pictures either. So there's that)

She needs to get her husband tested. Not herself.

He said you really think that little of me to believe I would sleep with a prostitute = DARVO = red flag

I think this thread is a perfect example of why you should never tell someone their husband is cheating on them unless you can do it face to face and you are close enough to thr wife you’d know she would want to know.

this anonymous stuff. To a woman who, lets face it, doesn’t want to know. Is rubbish, cruel in fact.

the op has even blocked the fake profile and bizarrely asked for evidence, in the full knowledge that would not be possible , how would anyone have evidence.

so her husband shagged a prostitute when on holiday. One of their friendship group is aappalled enough they have told her. Maybe it’s not the first time he’s cheated. The person has hid their identity so it doesn’t come back to bite them. The op knew her husband would deny it. She knew there was no evidence. So she’s blocked the person and will crack on.

there is no way though she’s not going to be side eying the friendship group, as they all will know. And that she knows. And he’s going to kick off at the bloke whose partner he thinks it was who told on him.

That’s not naive, that’s I don’t wish to know. Because if I know I need to deal with it and I don’t want to.